Post Reply
Page 1 of 5  •  1 2 3 4 5 Next
Switch to Forum Live View Have You Ever Been Betrayed by Family
7 years ago  ::  Nov 08, 2007 - 7:38AM #1
barblee
Posts: 83
Have you ever been betrayed and treated in a disloyal fashion by family..and if you have, how have you coped with it ?  In my case, they don't even think they did anything wrong...their response to my hurt is to "get over it".  How have you dealt with it.  I am talking deep betrayal and deep disloyality.  I have walked away from them at this time..don't know if I will ever want to have anything to do with them again.  I pray about it daily...know I have to forgive them...this has been one of the most painful things I have ever experienced.
Quick Reply
Cancel
7 years ago  ::  Nov 08, 2007 - 1:21PM #2
IHOP
Posts: 2,179

barblee wrote:

They don't even think they did anything wrong...their response to my hurt is to "get over it".





Is it possible that this is a misunderstanding? 

confusion based on personal viewpoints?

Quick Reply
Cancel
7 years ago  ::  Nov 08, 2007 - 11:03PM #3
revrobor
Posts: 18
There's not enough info here to give meaningful advise.
Quick Reply
Cancel
7 years ago  ::  Nov 08, 2007 - 11:05PM #4
milk_of_amnesia
Posts: 184
Hello barblee,

In my experience, people who have used the phase
Quick Reply
Cancel
7 years ago  ::  Nov 08, 2007 - 11:28PM #5
milk_of_amnesia
Posts: 184
Hello barblee,

In my experience, people use the phrase “get over it” for one of two reasons:

1.  The speaker is an insensitive, selfish person who does not want to consider the point of view of the listener and does not have any interest in changing his/her opinion.

2.  The listener is an insensitive, emotionally draining drama queen that the speaker wants to shut down because past experience has taught him/her not to get involved in solving the listener’s problems.

Since you don’t provide any specific information, it is difficult to tell what is going on, but I would recommend that you try to consider the other person’s point of view.  Perhaps this approach will help you come up with a solution that is agreeable to all.  Otherwise, you will have to provide information regarding the nature of the perceived betrayal in order to get useful advice.

Take care,

moa
Quick Reply
Cancel
7 years ago  ::  Nov 09, 2007 - 8:30AM #6
barblee
Posts: 83
No, it is not a misunderstanding...one of them is my husband's brother and he made this statement to my husband....tell her to get over it.
Quick Reply
Cancel
7 years ago  ::  Nov 09, 2007 - 8:34AM #7
barblee
Posts: 83
Milk of Amnesia;  you are right on target with your #1 analysis.  These people are not Christians...have no depth and have no sensitivity to another's pain or needs.  I am not a drama queen.  I am a mature Christian woman who has loved these people for 50 years....been there for them all my life.....prayed for them, been there for them with whatever they had to go through.  I am heartbroken..getting over it with prayer.   Just when you think you know people something happens and you see them for what they really are and realize that you really do not need them in your life.
Quick Reply
Cancel
7 years ago  ::  Nov 09, 2007 - 5:46PM #8
MarleneEmmett5
Posts: 1,697
[QUOTE=barblee;53400]Have you ever been betrayed and treated in a disloyal fashion by family..and if you have, how have you coped with it ?  In my case, they don't even think they did anything wrong...their response to my hurt is to "get over it".  How have you dealt with it.  I am talking deep betrayal and deep disloyality.  I have walked away from them at this time..don't know if I will ever want to have anything to do with them again.  I pray about it daily...know I have to forgive them...this has been one of the most painful things I have ever experienced.[/QUOTE]
Barblee:
You asked if I ever been betrayed by family~ The answer is "yes~ twice.Once by my parents when I became
pregnant at the age of 18~ Instead of standing by my side and asking me what I wanted to do they made me
have an abortion~ I wanted to keep the child. The second time was when my then boyfriend said something to
me while he was "courting me": his words "I want a little girl who looks like you~ my answer was: "I want a son
you has your eyes" Well five years after he said those words to me I reminded him of them and his answer was:
"I never said that to you"~ it was like a knife thorugh my heart. To make matters worse it took him twenty five years
to finally admit it to me that *he never wanted children~but he'd been too scared to tell me cause he thought I
leave him*~ my way of getting back at him for this is *that he will never have my heart~that belongs to a former
high school boyfriend of mine,who I still talk to regularly. He's very special.* What my husband did was a betrayal
to the deepest. He knew about my abortion, he knew that I had wanted a family.
As for my late parents~ my way of dealing with what they made me do is this *I've cursed their names, hated
them for a long time ~ but this doesn't help. So I let it go~ how, by writing on chat boards like this and writing
letters to them that will never be sent. I just get it off my chest/mind. Will I forgive them?? I'm working on that~
i have to learn to forgive myself first~ I can't forgive myself when it comes to the abortion. I didn't stand up for
my child~ I maybe would be a grandmother if I hadn't allowed myself to be talked into that abortion.
Quick Reply
Cancel
7 years ago  ::  Nov 13, 2007 - 5:27PM #9
NanaSharonLee
Posts: 13
[QUOTE=barblee;53400]I pray about it daily...know I have to forgive them...[/QUOTE]
...Let me count the ways.
One of the things about walking the "Christ" walk is that we:
1.  Get taken for granted.
2.  Get stepped on.
3.  Get misunderstood.
4.  Get betrayed by those we love.
Just as Christ did, and yes, it hurts. This has happened more than once in my life. I've had to keep secrets that shouldn't have been kept, all to have them exposed and end up with egg on my face. Then, I've exposed some secrets for the good of the one the secret was about and severed special relationships that led to the suicide of the one who wanted to keep it a secret...so I totally understand.
Quick Reply
Cancel
7 years ago  ::  Nov 13, 2007 - 5:27PM #10
NanaSharonLee
Posts: 13
[QUOTE=barblee;53400]I pray about it daily...know I have to forgive them...[/QUOTE]
...Let me count the ways.
One of the things about walking the "Christ" walk is that we:
1.  Get taken for granted.
2.  Get stepped on.
3.  Get misunderstood.
4.  Get betrayed by those we love.
Just as Christ did, and yes, it hurts. This has happened more than once in my life. I've had to keep secrets that shouldn't have been kept, all to have them exposed and end up with egg on my face. Then, I've exposed some secrets for the good of the one the secret was about and severed special relationships that led to the suicide of the one who wanted to keep it a secret...so I totally understand.
Quick Reply
Cancel
Page 1 of 5  •  1 2 3 4 5 Next
 
    Viewing this thread :: 0 registered and 1 guest
    No registered users viewing
    Advertisement

    Beliefnet On Facebook