Hmmmm..
Right now at this moment someone is being murdered..someone just got rich..someone just became homeless...
one guy was born..another guy died.
Right now the IRS is hounding an old woman..and paying millions of dollars to some young thing who cheated on her tax return...
right now a young, bright, beautiful 12 year old is hanging himself...oh..that was me..the rope broke dammit!
Like my own personal experience 30 years ago.a kid is cold and scared sleeping under a bridge as a teen..hopefully he wont have to kill another human being to survive as I had to.....funny how most kids think they know it all at 16....I just wanted to eat.
It's the holidays and you are sad cuz of............??????

I wanna cry a river......tell me more....

Hmmmm..
Right now at this moment someone is being murdered..someone just got rich..someone just became homeless...
one guy was born..another guy died.
Right now the IRS is hounding an old woman..and paying millions of dollars to some young thing who cheated on her tax return...
right now a young, bright, beautiful 12 year old is hanging himself...oh..that was me..the rope broke dammit!
Like my own personal experience 30 years ago.a kid is cold and scared sleeping under a bridge as a teen..hopefully he wont have to kill another human being to survive as I had to.....funny how most kids think they know it all at 16....I just wanted to eat.
It's the holidays and you are sad cuz of............??????

I wanna cry a river......tell me more....

[QUOTE=barblee;53400]Have you ever been betrayed and treated in a disloyal fashion by family..and if you have, how have you coped with it ?  In my case, they don't even think they did anything wrong...their response to my hurt is to "get over it".  How have you dealt with it.  I am talking deep betrayal and deep disloyality.  I have walked away from them at this time..don't know if I will ever want to have anything to do with them again.  I pray about it daily...know I have to forgive them...this has been one of the most painful things I have ever experienced.[/QUOTE]
I also just recently lost the Woman whom I knew and loved as my mom. She wasnt my biological mother and she was only married to my father as common-law, but she was in all since of the word my mom. I have always thought about how blessed I was to not only have her but to have my foster mother in my life to help nurture me and help me grow. She was there when ever I needed her be it to lend a helping hand, advice, patch my skinned knees or what ever it may have been. I had Epilesy growing up and they had a hard time controlling it so I was in and out of hospitals thru out my childhood, she was always the first face I seen when I awakened from my seizure, she was the first face I seen after my tonsiles were taken out, when I had pnomeya(cant spell it sorry) and was in the hospital for almost 2 months she was there everyday at my side. I loved her and had a hard time dealing with the fact she wasnt going to be there for me anymore. She was there when I had surgery on my hand so that I could have use of it. I opened my eyes and she said to me, "honey dont ever be ashamed or afraid to ask for your mom as I will always be there for you" this phrase rings in my ears to this day. See I was ashamed to tell her I wanted her there so I cried to my oldest brother, who in turn called her up and told her this.

I was also feeling bad as I could not be with her when she died or take care of her. I told her several times to just ask me and I will come she never did. I also had to wait on a new passport since I am not living in the USA at this time I am in Sweden. My passport sad to say came the day after she died. She died 4 months earlier due to a cracked spirit and a broken heart. She died alone even though there were at least 6 people who could have been there with her not to mention her current husband, who wasnt there but was able to get to the SSI office to claim his benefits not 3+ hours after her death. This sickened me and still does as I know she would never have done that to us and let us die alone.

I have since been battleing to be able to get one special item of my moms shich I bought for her and which has speical meaning only to me, and something like a necklace or something else I could wear to honor her memory. I have yet to get anything let alone the box which my name is on there that she wanted me to have. this pains and saddens me a great deal. Plus I didnt get a phone call about her death my older sister and older brother and my younger brother all expect me to accept the fact my father emailed me about her death, I was hurt when I found this out, but thank god for my little sister who lives in Texas she went thru operator after operator just to call me as she didnt even have long distance so that I would not hear about it thru the internet. I thank God for her each and everyday as she saved me the devistation of reading about it. Also I believe my Mom once again reached out and protected me from the devistating effects this email would have had on me and the pain and sorrow of it by litterly breaking my computer. sounds crazy I know but I was talking to my oldest sister on it not 4 hours before I got the phone call, asking her to send me this horse(called a Dalhäst) which is hand made here in Sweden which only means something special to me back she said I promise sis. i also told her to tell mom I loved her as I didnt think I would make it in time as hospice stepped in and were makeing her comfortable(which means they will die soon if not within a few days) she said she would do that too I dont think she did the last task either as like I said Mom was alone at the time of her death. When my other sister told me of this email I went to see myself and I turned on my computer only to find it to be totally dead.

I feel strongly about this no one should die alone. if it can be helped a family member should be there, if not a type of personal of some sort be it in a hospital or home of some sort should be there with them until they die. I sure hope Hospice did this for her but I really dont know how the system works in the states. I know in Sweden they have a person sitting at all times in the room until the person passes sure hope this is the case with my Mom as she surely did not deserve to die alone. But as you see I am still battleing with my feelings about this. i pray everyday for guidence, strength and the ability to forgive my family for what they did to me. Mom didnt want no services she wanted us to celebrate her life not grieve it. so my sister threw a "KEG" party, I dont drink so I probably would not have come there for that if I had been in the states, plus the fact I am over seas but an invite still would have been nice you know, I never got one sad to say.

The Other instance is where my Cousin and her best friend Called false calls on me to DSS. To name one or two examples: one my kids had no clothes to wear, which was out right false as both of them had their school clothes and their play clothes and they had so many that I had to use my closet and bedroom space for their clothes. Also her best friend gave me clothes and a jacket which her youngest son who was about 2 years older then mine couldnt wear anymore as soon as I took them and thanked her for them DSS came the next day with the call that they had no clothes and my son had no jacket, I said look here he not only has one but he has 3!. another time was that my son was up and alone outside at 5 in the morning and hungry so my neighbor took him in and fed him and waited for me to get up after I had spent the night sitting on my computer.I said that is out ragious and took them up stairs and showed them my bedroom door which had a latch lock on it up too high for a three and diffently a 1 and 1/2 yr old to reach and said there they both slept in here with me, this was due to an attempted break in that we experienced I then figured it was best for the children that they were in my room and I got the lock for security, my sister also stayed with us so she was a witness to this as well. I also told them I was up studying for a Math test I had in one of my college classes, which I eventually dropped college due to the fact i felt my son needed me more then I needed college at that time.

Each time it caused much stress and heartache on my part which rubbed off on my children Im sure.
which  eventually inspite of  all calls being onfounded eventually they took my kids from me saying there was a new law stating after so many calls the child/ren were removed from the home regardless if all or any were unfounded, this I later found out was a lie.

This was all due to jealousy on my cousins part as I had met my future (now) husband and didnt have much time or lust to do things with her when she felt convinient for me to be there. and Due to my neighbor her best friend feeling I made a move on her abusive husband which I did not he made a move on me but I rejected him totally, well I was not believed and he was. I even told her I left an abusive man why would I want another whom I know and have seen that he is abusive and go thru the whole thing again? besides I said he isnt my type.

In the end I am still 9 years later fighting for my kids, I have finally got the right type of attorney who will actually do something for me and not think only about the money they should get or who doesnt work for the state (we all know how they are). And hopefully and God willing Stop this and win this never ending battle I have and get my children back where they belong with me. And afterwards I will be bringing the state up on charges for all they have done to me and my kids.

So I have indeed experience family betrayal and it has costed me and my children big.. I no longer speak to my cousin at all and probalby never will.. I can forgive when it comes to me as I can get over the pain it caused but not when it comes to hurting or causing hurt to my kids that is something I find it hard to forgive for.. But hopefully what goes around comes around and they will pay for their trasgressions against me and my children and God willing me and them will come out on top in the end.

God Bless you all

About being betrayed by your family.  Maybe the word "betrayal", isn't really the right word for this feeling.  Maybe we could use, a different word like dissappointed.  It doesn't have to be over one little, or big event to have this happen to any of us from our family.  I am in the shoes of being left out of my family.  Right now, I am homeless, looking to find an affordable home for my daughter and myself.  Well, I thought I had the help from both my mother in law and my own mother.  It turns out, my mother doesn't want anything to do with me, or my daughter, her own grandaugher.  I am getting a little off track here, cause I have so much to say about this, but just trying to stick to the point of the main idea here,  on how to cope with the sadness you/we/I have been left feeling.  No matter how mean, visious and negative our families are towards us, we have to stay the very Christians that we are and try to hold your tongue and stay gracious, despite wanting to haul of and tell them off in your own words.  It hurts and the hardest thing to do is to forgive them and do your best to keep the lines open.  This is the word of God we live by day to day.  I hope I am making sense here.  I am going through this hard time as I write to you.  I went to stay at my mothers apartment last night and I didn't even get in the front door when she started yelling at us for just about anything and everything.  We didn't even have to do anything.  It was definately obvious, Katie and I were not welcomed there, especially after the comments and banging all night.  So, we packed up and left.  She was out and I left her a message, not the one I would have liked to leave, before I really wanted to get close to God, but the one that is the hardest.  I told her, that I understood how hard it is to have our stuff around and put up with all of it in such a small apartment and that I have made other arrangements to stay on the weekends, (which I did not) and that I thanked her for letting me stay there when she did open her door the couple times I did stay there.  I have been back from MN since November and it looks like I will have to keep going through this until April.  I think there is a light for this soon:  Well, I hope I have helped somewhat.  I need to get going, but please let me know if I can be of help. mello280@yahoo.com

Nov 18, 2007 -- 5:36AM, barblee wrote:

Thank you all for your input.  I am taking it all to heart.  Yes, we have to put the hurt aside and move on and forgive. That is what it is all about.

Find it within yourself to challenge yourself daily.

I have gone through a transformation in my life by challenging myself physically
mentally proving to myself that I can! When they say I can't or I'm a loser... This is by my own family.

I don't do drugs, I don't drink, I don't partake in criminal activity.

My advice forget them. Remove the negatives out of your life and you will have nothing but positive...