In meetings you hear slogans like, "It's the AA way or the highway" or, "One drink will kill you," even "if you leave (AA), you will die." They will convince you that you are a "hopeless, helpless addict" and tear you down until they can "rebuild" you to fit their little 12-step cult. (And never mind that most people who quit their "addiction" quit ON THEIR OWN, just ignore the man behind the curtain...)
There IS another way. Rather, there are other WAYS, and they WORK. Please, if you struggle with any kind of addiction, look into these proven programs, and don't let the police, prosecutor, or judge force the 12-Step Cult on you or your loved ones.
EDIT 1 -- how do I linkify URLs in this new format?
EDIT 2 -- nevermind, I got it...
"The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post "Thou shalt not steal", Thou shalt not commit adultery" and "Thou shalt not lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment." -- George Carlin
Somewhere around here is a "sticky" with a list of 12step replacements. These programs do work and are definately NOT the "quick and easy way" that some steppers claim they are. They all require work, hard work, making decisions, hard decisions, life changing decisions.
Dave - Just a Man in the Mountains.
I am a Humanist. I believe in a rational philosophy of life, informed by science, inspired by art, and motivated by a desire to do good for its own sake and not by an expectation of a reward or fear of punishment in an afterlife.
It strikes me that we in recovery have to become rebels to some extent and set or own individual standards of living, commit ourselves to them and then keep our balance in a wide variety of social interactions so we don't get thrown for a loop by controversies. The fact is that we live in a society that doesn't understand alcoholics, and in many cases the people we have to deal with in everyday life are themselves in denial and simply don't want to understand us.
So I also think this requires an above-average level of maturity on our part. The question is, do we really believe we're worth the extra effort it takes to rise above all this and let everyone else have their heads about it? Can we live and let live, even to the point of getting along with folks who never did think much of us and probably never will?
It strikes me that we in recovery have to become rebels to some extent and set or own individual standards of living, commit ourselves to them and then keep our balance in a wide variety of social interactions so we don't get thrown for a loop by controversies. The fact is that we live in a society that doesn't understand alcoholics, and in many cases the people we have to deal with in everyday life are themselves in denial and simply don't want to understand us.
So I also think this requires an above-average level of maturity on our part. The question is, do we really believe we're worth the extra effort it takes to rise above all this and let everyone else have their heads about it? Can we live and let live, even to the point of getting along with folks who never did think much of us and probably never will?
There's nothing TO "understand" about "alcoholics" -- you're not "sick" or "diseased", you simply CHOOSE to drink to excess.
"The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post "Thou shalt not steal", Thou shalt not commit adultery" and "Thou shalt not lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment." -- George Carlin
There's nothing TO "understand" about "alcoholics" -- you're not "sick" or "diseased", you simply CHOOSE to drink to excess.
Good point, and assuming it's true, it follows logically that those who say "AA or the highway" are mistaken and quite possibly deluded. But even as such, they're still just private citizens who have opinions, like political party members and sports fans. They have no more civil or legal authority to enforce their views on the general public than does any other nut who holds forth from a soapbox.
AA is a private, civilian, voluntary organization doing busness in a free society under the protection of the First Amendment. It's not allied with any city, state, or federal law enforcement agency, nor with any correctional bureaucracy. Why not simply ignore them and walk away, just as you would from any other street corner crackpot or assembly thereof?
There's nothing TO "understand" about "alcoholics" -- you're not "sick" or "diseased", you simply CHOOSE to drink to excess.
Good point, and assuming it's true, it follows logically that those who say "AA or the highway" are mistaken and quite possibly deluded. But even as such, they're still just private citizens who have opinions, like political party members and sports fans. They have no more civil or legal authority to enforce their views on the general public than does any other nut who holds forth from a soapbox.
AA is a private, civilian, voluntary organization doing busness in a free society under the protection of the First Amendment. It's not allied with any city, state, or federal law enforcement agency, nor with any correctional bureaucracy. Why not simply ignore them and walk away, just as you would from any other street corner crackpot or assembly thereof?
And yet judges FORCE people into the program, and the program itself actively discourages members from associating with ANYONE who isn't in the program, discourages free thought (as evidenced by the 12-Step zombies who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves and others, and continue to prance about like AA is the BEST. THING. EVAR.) and it DAMAGES THE PARTICIPANTS by utterly destroying their minds, their self-esteem, and sense of self-worth. "You're an ADDICT. You're HOPELESS. You're nothing but a FAILURE. You NEED us, we're the ONLY ONES who understand, and we LOVE you!" It's the same thing abusers do to their victims.
"The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post "Thou shalt not steal", Thou shalt not commit adultery" and "Thou shalt not lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment." -- George Carlin
And yet judges FORCE people into the program, and the program itself actively discourages members from associating with ANYONE who isn't in the program, discourages free thought (as evidenced by the 12-Step zombies who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves and others, and continue to prance about like AA is the BEST. THING. EVAR.) and it DAMAGES THE PARTICIPANTS by utterly destroying their minds, their self-esteem, and sense of self-worth. "You're an ADDICT. You're HOPELESS. You're nothing but a FAILURE. You NEED us, we're the ONLY ONES who understand, and we LOVE you!" It's the same thing abusers do to their victims.
Unfortunately, when people break the law they forfeit many of their accustomed civil liberties, and the best way to get them back is to hire a good attorney and appeal the ruling of the court.
There's nothing TO "understand" about "alcoholics" -- you're not "sick" or "diseased", you simply CHOOSE to drink to excess.
And to stop they have to learn how to make new choices. That's the ONLY anyone, and everyone, has ever ended a chemical dependency.
Dave - Just a Man in the Mountains.
I am a Humanist. I believe in a rational philosophy of life, informed by science, inspired by art, and motivated by a desire to do good for its own sake and not by an expectation of a reward or fear of punishment in an afterlife.
And yet judges FORCE people into the program, and the program itself actively discourages members from associating with ANYONE who isn't in the program, discourages free thought (as evidenced by the 12-Step zombies who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves and others, and continue to prance about like AA is the BEST. THING. EVAR.) and it DAMAGES THE PARTICIPANTS by utterly destroying their minds, their self-esteem, and sense of self-worth. "You're an ADDICT. You're HOPELESS. You're nothing but a FAILURE. You NEED us, we're the ONLY ONES who understand, and we LOVE you!" It's the same thing abusers do to their victims.
Unfortunately, when people break the law they forfeit many of their accustomed civil liberties, and the best way to get them back is to hire a good attorney and appeal the ruling of the court.
You didn't read my post. AA is a RELIGIOUS PROGRAM, and FORCING PEOPLE INTO A RELIGIOUS PROGRAM IS DIRECTLY IN VIOLATION OF THE FIRST AMENDMENT.
What I hear you saying is, that when someone breaks the law, this kind of unconstituional ABUSE is justified. And that, my friend, is just plain wrong. NOTHING justifies violating another person's constitutional rights. NOTHING.
"The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post "Thou shalt not steal", Thou shalt not commit adultery" and "Thou shalt not lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment." -- George Carlin
There's nothing TO "understand" about "alcoholics" -- you're not "sick" or "diseased", you simply CHOOSE to drink to excess.
And to stop they have to learn how to make new choices. That's the ONLY anyone, and everyone, has ever ended a chemical dependency.
Dammit, we need the "multiquote" feature back!
It's not even about "learning to make new choices" -- it's about CHOOSING NOT TO PICK UP THE BOTTLE. I don't care if you think you "have to" have a drink, or you "have to" shoot up heroin, or whatever, there is ALWAYS A CHOICE, and they CHOOSE to drink, or stick the needle in, there is no "addiction" or "dependency". (With the obvious exception of cigarettes, as nicotine has proven to be honest-to-god PHYSICALLY addictive.) All those "withdrawal" symptoms you see in "alcoholics" is nothing but a hangover -- a bad one, to be sure -- and all you have to do is ride it out. But no, they're WEAK, and CHOOSE to drink more, to "get well", when they KNOW that they shouldn't.
I feel that "chemical dependency" is a cop-out term, designed to make the WEAK feel better about their CHOICE TO USE. A true dependency on chemicals would be, like, if you needed a certain medication to LIVE, like, you just got a donor organ, and if you don't take the anti-rejection drugs, you'll die. In fact, even BREATHING can be seen as a "chemical dependency" -- oxygen is a chemical (technically).
Can we please stop using terms like "addiction" and "chemical dependency" when we're referring to a CHOICE?
"The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post "Thou shalt not steal", Thou shalt not commit adultery" and "Thou shalt not lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment." -- George Carlin
