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5 years ago  ::  Oct 08, 2009 - 1:28AM #31
Mcgowdog
Posts: 10

Mar 13, 2009 -- 9:41PM, AKwinters wrote:


If I go to a meeting and drink some coffee, share how things went that day or what I'm going through, help put chairs away and then go home, have I participated in the program of A.A.? People don't actually recover on the inside by doing these things do they?


What does it mean to get out of the self with regard to the program?


Take on a sponsee?


Talk to a sponsor?


I know there comes a point where issues have to be hashed out, and to do this one has to be serious about their own recovery, no one will do this for you. Is this what is meant when people say "it's all in the steps."


If self is the primary issue for recovery, what does one actually do to be unselfish? Is one perpetually thinking of others, or is this another one of those epiphanies that sneaks up from out of nowhere, where the ultimate goal is to achieve a state of mind that nutures healthy ego without reverting back to alcohol?


Can anyone actually provide any concrete examples of the day in the life of A.A. in action?


What do people do in A.A.?


 




 


This is a nice quote here.  It's a real question that would make a nice topic.


I belong to a group that does steps yearly.  We have a meeting that meets once per week.  That's it.  We meet for lunch on Friday when we can.  Since we do steps yearly, we really don't have or need sponsors. 


Once you've been through a set of steps, you should be sponsor-free.  Why be a burden to some poor guy the rest of his life?  Where should your reliance be anyway?  In your sponsor?  Or in God?  Who's responsible for your sobriety?  You're sponsor?  Or you?  I don't understand why some people like to be under somebody elses thumb.

Also, if you come to our group, you'd need to be an alcoholic who wants to quit for good and all.  Nobody else.  Just alkies.  We also don't believe in dual problems.  I've got a dual problem.  I've got big kahunas.  And they hurt a lot.  But we don't talk about my big kahunas.  If you have dual problems, then once the heat gets to hot on one problem, they just jump to the other problem.  Either you're alky or you're not.  Get in or get out.


So we have a chair picker.  They pick the chair person for that next week's meeting.  The chair person comes with a topic, reads a bit out of the book, shares his/her recent experience with the step, then calls on others to share... their current experience with the step/topic.  We have a 3 minute meditation before we open the topic to the group.  When we're done with discussion, we have 30 minutes of crossfire.  There, anybody can ask anybody a question about their experience on the topic.  We conclude the meeting with the Lord's Prayer.


That's all we do.  We write 3 column inventories, 5th step it with another drunk, do 6, 7, and 8 and make all our amends, then do 10, 11, and 12.  We start on Sept 1st and and are finished with our amends by Thanksgiving.  that gives us the other 9 months of the year to do 10, 11, and 12.


We don't give a darn about A.A. at the regional, national, or world level.  Y'all can drink.  We ain't drinkin' no matter what.  I got my book and if I see a new drunk I'll pitch him/her if I can. 

  • Do you have a problem with booze?
  • Do you want to quit for good and all?

If the answers are "Yes" and "Yes", and the attitude is contrite and sincere, we'll work with you.  Otherwise, we'll send you to one of those more merciful groups.


How does that saying go?  Let us love you till you kill yourself?  A.A. is not sentimental.  Why? Because of booze.


If you don't care about your sobriety, we can't care.  It's a spiritual law.  If you do care, we have to care.


A.A. works.  It works everytime.  A.A. is a set of swingset instructions.  You attach A to B and B to C etc.  You get a swingset.  A.A. is to be experienced.  Not debated, studied, guided, etc.

Don't believe everything you think.  Especially if you're an Anti-A.A.ing A.A. basher.
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5 years ago  ::  Oct 08, 2009 - 9:47AM #32
Seefan
Posts: 3,911

Apr 7, 2009 -- 3:51PM, cherubino wrote:

Apr 7, 2009 -- 11:10AM, mountain_man wrote:


You've just proven my claim your question was an attempt to attack the person instead of the topic.



Dave,


Really? Do you see that question as a personal attack? If so, do you have any idea what that says about you, with or without your consent?



Undecidedhmhmhm??? I just noticed this post! Interesting observation! I don't think 'attack' is the proper analyses here, howbeit, a good defense. In putting the shoe on my foot, and if it was me being asked if I was an alcoholic on a site dealing with alcoholics and alcoholism, as in this case, I don't believe I would see it as a personal attack. Quite the contrary! I see it as others trying to determine how close I could identify with the problem being discussed. That a big part of AA! Identification ...


It seems to me that others deserve to know if I have a first hand understanding of the problem through experience. This becomes important when I'm giving advice or opinions to others which may be followed. So cherubino, I think it is a legitimate question you've asked .....


Smile

Today the one overriding need is unity and harmony among the beloved of the Lord, for they should have among them but one heart and soul and should, so far as in them lieth, unitedly withstand the hostility of all the peoples of the world ... (Baha'i Writings)
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5 years ago  ::  Nov 26, 2009 - 3:11PM #33
trudging
Posts: 159

With mountain man giving out so much advise and simple solutions, I thought it might be a good diea for newcomers to alcoholism to know if the advise was based on experience or general observations, the problem with casual observation is alcoholism is devilishly deceptive...because no-one can see inside the mind of another.


Anyway I thought all the same things before sinking into alcoholism.


 


 

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5 years ago  ::  Nov 26, 2009 - 3:30PM #34
trudging
Posts: 159

Mar 13, 2009 -- 9:41PM, AKwinters wrote:


what does one actually do to be unselfish? Is one perpetually thinking of others, or is this another one of those epiphanies that sneaks up from out of nowhere, where the ultimate goal is to achieve a state of mind that nutures healthy ego without reverting back to alcohol?


Can anyone actually provide any concrete examples of the day in the life of A.A. in action?


What do people do in A.A.?


 



 


The steps will demolish the ego to the point that selfish behavior dissipates.


An alcoholic ego cannot be healthy and it cannot be changed or adjusted, something happens in human development that it becomes set in stone ( so to speak) ,the alky ego thinks it is God.


Researchers think it happens before puberty , but whenever it occurs,  its a done deal.


An entity within a mind that thinks it is God cannot share power, but because it isn't God it fears the infinite, the result is an alcoholic has a mind that is directed by fear from an unseen source. My ego is quite sentient, insane yes , but capable of observing what I am thinking.


The steps taken as a whole, restores alcoholics to sanity , by removing from power the insane ego and provides a way of life that prevents its return.


 


"what does one actually do to be unselfish?"


Selfishness is a state of being, if my state of being is changed then unselfish acts will take on many forms, the recommended AA method is to work with others (guide others thru the steps).


Its starts with NOT thinking of my-SELF all the time.

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