Post Reply
Page 6 of 66  •  Prev 1 ... 4 5 6 7 8 ... 66 Next
Switch to Forum Live View Welcome to the Bedlam Saloon
6 years ago  ::  Sep 22, 2008 - 5:17PM #51
itty
Posts: 2,949
You betcha I'll be praying for you! I will have my fingers, my toes and my eyes crossed on the day you have your scan. 

Just remember to breath Sierra. You have a good prognosis. Close your eyes and breath.

Right now I get MRIs every three months. I know that icy ball in the pit of the stomach feeling. I don't expect to see growth at my tumor site but the 'what if' just sits there in the back of my mind.

I say we take a page from the nearest 12-step program and take this one day at a time. I try to do that. Sometimes it's one minute at a time. When I get that way I head for the cyber ice cream. Well, and the support of my friends.  I couldn't do this without every one here.

Bless you for that support.
Quick Reply
Cancel
6 years ago  ::  Sep 23, 2008 - 1:49PM #52
gratefulgal
Posts: 2
Hi group!!
My mother was diagnosed with stage one breast cancer, She started her first round of chemo, and she goes for another round next Monday if her white count is up. Her first treatment she was allergic to the chemo, so they stopped the treatment, and gave her some shots and ran benadryl through the IV. They then told her by 12 days she would loose all her hair.  12 days to the day (last night) she had to shave her head because she was loosing hand fulls.

It's hard enough trying to cope with this, and trying to stay strong and supportive for her, but trying to do this when I cant hold her or at least see her, is killing me!!  I live in NY, and she lives in Arkansas. I just feel so helpless, and useless.
If any of you have any advice for me I would greatly appreciate it!

Also I want to make a care box up for her, but really I have no idea what to put in it....  If any of you had certain things that help you get through this a little easier, or found something to comfort you please let me know.   Her fingernails are cracking too does anyone have a great lotion to help with this?? Thank you so much!!!!!
Quick Reply
Cancel
6 years ago  ::  Sep 23, 2008 - 5:14PM #53
gratefulgal
Posts: 2
Thank you so much Sierra! You have given me a place to start. It's frustrating to want to help, but just not know how too!!
I call her every night, and I send her a million and one pictures of me and my kids through email. And a few weeks before she started the chemo I sent her a book call "chicken soup for the breast cancer survivors soul" She does recommend that to others, because the women who had gone through it before knew what questions to ask the Dr's.  My mom couldn't get past the "you have cancer part" she said so she couldn't think of questions.  The portable DVD is a great idea, I also just bought her an ipod so she can put all of her favorite music on.

Growing up my mom has always been my hero, but  she is even more so now. Watching the determination which I don't think I would have. Every person on here who is battling cancer or has had it and won, has inspired me to not take other stuff so seriously, and I only hope that if I ever have to go through this I can be a strong and encouraging as you all!!
thank you again, and I am so glad that we have sites like this available to us!!
Quick Reply
Cancel
6 years ago  ::  Sep 23, 2008 - 8:23PM #54
itty
Posts: 2,949
If your mom is a movie person and you can afford it try getting her a netflix account. A dear friend of mine did that for me. It has been a complete Godsend! On the days where I just feel puny I can lay down, in bed and watch movies on my laptop. I love it! There are so many choices that I have great fun just looking at the site. Great entertainment.

Do you know her neighbors? Are there family members in the area? Do you know any of her friends?

If so then talk to them. Have them come in and spend time with her. She might not know how to answer the question, "What can I do to help you?" In the midst of all the stress of diagnosis, surgery, prognosis, chemo and radiation we get so caught in the battle that sometimes we can't focus on anything beyond it. Instead of having her friends and family as her that question suggest that they just do things. Do a sink full of dishes in. Throw in a load of laundry. Vacuum the floor. Dust. Don't ask. If they see something they need to just do it.

Food can be problematic. If she get ill from the chemo then it might be wise to have people make small portions of things she can eat and likes. Then when she gets hungry she can grab it quickly. Eating is someting we all have to do. The treatment can cause loss of appetite. So when the urge to eat strikes it is best to have small portions that can be eaten at that moment.

What kind of sense of humor does your mom have? Laughter is a lovely way to deal with cancer. Laughing always make me feel more alive. I can laugh at my own self and that's why I am asking.

I didn't loose all my hair, just around the sides. I still haven't regrown it back to an length. I found, like Sierra, a sleeping cap was and is a good thing. My head gets really cold! If it rain I wear a fuzzy winter cap outside because no matter how warm the rain my head still gets cold. It's great for windy days too. I look goofy and I just don't care.

Do she like cats? Dogs? If so then go find this site:

http://icanhascheezeburger.com

It is a site with cute and funny animals with cute, funny and strange captions. I love this site. It is a great pick me up when I am down in the dumps.

You are doing good things for your mom. Keep it up!

A care package could include several lightweight cotton sleeping caps, a couple of very light books that will make her laugh. If you are wondering about what kind of cream she might be able to use ask your doctor. Explain to your doctor what the situation is and does s/he have any recommendations.

You might include some herbal teas. I like herbal tea when I was doing my main chemo and radiation.

How about a couple of CD's? Send her some of her favorite artists.

I agree with Sierra, talking to your mom is one way to help her and help yourself.  Let her set the tone. Listen if she talks about dying. DON'T tell her that she won't. Dying is something we do face and when people won't go there with us, meaning listen to us and our thoughts, then it feels like people are not really paying attention.

I hope some of this helps. Now help yourself. Laugh, love, play, be joyful. I know you might feel guilty. I will tell you not to. You mom would not want you to put your life on hold and deny yourself and your family because she is ill. I had one family member that hovered around me wringing her hands and demanding to help me with everything. It drove me nuts! She put her life aside for me. I was angry about that. I appreciated the support but felt she was hurting herself. She needed herself for herself and her family. We got it worked out. Just don't put your life on hold. You can't do tha and it would be a poor way to honor, love and help your mom.

Now then, the bar is open. Any particular sort of beverage? We have all sort of cyber drinks, snacks, nibbles and meals. We have the universes' most complete music collection. If you can think of it then it will play on this jukebox.  Feel up to pool, or darts or a game of cards? Have at it!

Laughter and play are very vital to all of us, patient and loved ones alike. DON'T forget to laugh, play, love, rant, rage and live your life. THAT will honor the woman your mom IS. I expect it will give her hoy to share yours.
Quick Reply
Cancel
6 years ago  ::  Sep 25, 2008 - 1:15AM #55
frankieestep
Posts: 682
Sierra,

You will be in my prayers as you face the next scan.  I know it's a tough time, and I will pray that our Lord give you peace.

Gratefulgal,

I am a survivor of stage 3 breast cancer.  That was in 1996, at age 41.  Itty has given you some great advice, and I know your Mom will appreciate anything you send her.  It's true, we do realize our own mortality when we face cancer.  Let your Mom talk about it.  The "what if" is a BIG question that is always present in our minds.  If your Mom is part of a church group, encourage her to talk about her spiritual beliefs and to research what her church teaches. 

Most of all, just be a loving daughter who is able to accept whatever curve is thrown your way.  My own daughter was only 23 at the time I was diagnosed, and it was really tough for her and my son both.  My son was living with me, my daughter was about 1300 miles away.  My son was a great actual day to day help to me, running to the grocery store or picking up the mail.  My daughter was the emotional help.  She kept reminding me that I was her hero, and that she was proud of me, just for being who I am.  That meant a lot to me.  More than anyone can realize.  She did her homework on the chemo, and gave me tons of info that I didn't use until later.  She just let me know that I could talk to her about anything that I needed to talk about.  There was no judgement, and no critisism.   She was just there for me.   

So just tell your Mom you love her.  Tell her she is your hero.  Make a CD for her of your favorite inspirational songs.  Like Itty said, get her a Netflix account to watch movies.  Just let her know you are still part of her life, and that she is more than special to you.  Give her a reason to fight.

Most of all, allow yourself time to adjust to the person she is becoming.  She won't be the same after this experience.  It changes all of us.  Most become stronger, but some tend to wallow in self pity and hopelessness.  Allow her the time to mourn the person she was, but encourage her to explore the person she is becoming. 

Take care of yourself, and reach out anytime you need to.  We are all here for you!!!
Quick Reply
Cancel
6 years ago  ::  Sep 25, 2008 - 1:15AM #56
frankieestep
Posts: 682
Sierra,

You will be in my prayers as you face the next scan.  I know it's a tough time, and I will pray that our Lord give you peace.

Gratefulgal,

I am a survivor of stage 3 breast cancer.  That was in 1996, at age 41.  Itty has given you some great advice, and I know your Mom will appreciate anything you send her.  It's true, we do realize our own mortality when we face cancer.  Let your Mom talk about it.  The "what if" is a BIG question that is always present in our minds.  If your Mom is part of a church group, encourage her to talk about her spiritual beliefs and to research what her church teaches. 

Most of all, just be a loving daughter who is able to accept whatever curve is thrown your way.  My own daughter was only 23 at the time I was diagnosed, and it was really tough for her and my son both.  My son was living with me, my daughter was about 1300 miles away.  My son was a great actual day to day help to me, running to the grocery store or picking up the mail.  My daughter was the emotional help.  She kept reminding me that I was her hero, and that she was proud of me, just for being who I am.  That meant a lot to me.  More than anyone can realize.  She did her homework on the chemo, and gave me tons of info that I didn't use until later.  She just let me know that I could talk to her about anything that I needed to talk about.  There was no judgement, and no critisism.   She was just there for me.   

So just tell your Mom you love her.  Tell her she is your hero.  Make a CD for her of your favorite inspirational songs.  Like Itty said, get her a Netflix account to watch movies.  Just let her know you are still part of her life, and that she is more than special to you.  Give her a reason to fight.

Most of all, allow yourself time to adjust to the person she is becoming.  She won't be the same after this experience.  It changes all of us.  Most become stronger, but some tend to wallow in self pity and hopelessness.  Allow her the time to mourn the person she was, but encourage her to explore the person she is becoming. 

Take care of yourself, and reach out anytime you need to.  We are all here for you!!!
Quick Reply
Cancel
6 years ago  ::  Sep 26, 2008 - 12:52PM #57
itty
Posts: 2,949
Yeah Frankie! I am so glad you're here.

I found this in another forum in B'net. It is so beautiful and I wanted to share it:


"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.

I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish enough "Hello's" to get you through the final "Good-bye.."



[COLOR=black]I wish that all the people surviving cancer, all the people caring for loved ones with cancer and every one reading this each has enough.

[/COLOR]

Quick Reply
Cancel
6 years ago  ::  Sep 26, 2008 - 10:23PM #58
itty
Posts: 2,949
itty slips in the door....she glances around and finds just the nook she wants.....she scampers over, takes the bag from around her neck and begins to get out candles....all shapes, sizes and colors....

this little gray cat who is spotted and striped in black carefully sets them up, lights them and spends a few moments in silent prayer.....

For everyone...may we all find peace....may we all have the courage we need for what ever we need it for...

itty ensures the candles will burn safely then slips quietly out into the night...I wish us all enough....
Quick Reply
Cancel
6 years ago  ::  Sep 28, 2008 - 11:54AM #59
itty
Posts: 2,949
Welcome!

Today I am celebrating the big old loudmouthed St. Bernard that saved the goat!

Yes, Mack, the St. Bernard saved the little nanny goat, called Nanny, last night.

You have to understand I live on a farm. It's been in the family for 170 years. Yep, has. Well we have the critters that go with a farm. We have cats, dogs, frogs, a ferret, two Flemish Giant rabbits, a pony, a couple of pigs (not pets), a steer (not a pet), chickens and a goat. It's a petting zoo here. Except for the pigs and the the steer. They will go in the freezer and while we care for them well we don't get attached.

Anyhow, last night Mack started raising a ruckus. He has a very LOUD voice. He was raising the rooftop! It woke the whole household. The adults got dressed and went to see what was causing our big fella to be barking like that.

We found Nanny had gotten out of the barn and gotten hung up in a fence. She was caught by her right hind leg. We got her untangled and checked to the damage. She had cut herself pretty badly. We called the vet. He came out and stitched her up.

So right now....sigh....ahem....I hate to say this....sigh....she is residing in the corner of the kitchen.....sigh....one more critter made it into the house.

She won't be here long. We have to keep an eye on her for several days to ensure there is no infection and that she doesn't rip the stitches. So, she'll live in the house and just outside in the yard. Then she will go to Paco the pony's paddock. It will be safer for her. She is a sweet little thing.

Mack got a treat. He got steak for breakfast! He earned it. He is a really good fella and he gets along well with Nanny.

It's time to take the goat out to do what goats do. She is doing well. All I can say is YEAH Mack!
Quick Reply
Cancel
6 years ago  ::  Sep 29, 2008 - 7:57PM #60
itty
Posts: 2,949
:p  Actually Nanny came to us as a young kid. She wasn't completely weaned. Soooo at that point she resided in the bathroom at night. Now as odd as it sounds a goat can be house trained. Nanny was. As she grew enough to go to the barn that is where she went.

We had an accident last night but that is to be expected. We should have put her in the bathroom in the bath tub and didn't. So far we have timed it well enough that we'd had no messes in the house duing the day. She should be well enough to move to the pony's shed in another couple of days. She needs to be able to move well and she is doing that. She is a dear little thing, just over a year and not very big. She is a pygmy goat.

She isn't the only critter that has ever been a house guest. My mother raised piglets in the bathtub. :) We raised hogs and cattle when I was young. Sometimes an old sow would have too many pigs and mom would bring them in and put them in the bathtub.

My father rescued a Great Horned Owl once and HE went in the bathtub until we could get the Department of Natural Resources to come take him. He had gotten caught on an pole trap. Farmers used to put them up to catch owls. Dad happened to be going into town, saw the owl and knew the neighbors were at work. He took the pole down, wrapped the owl in a tarp he had in the pickup, put the pole up after he sprung it and brought it home. It wasn't there long, less than three hours as I remember but me and my brother weren't allowed near the bathroom until the owl was gone. I don't know what happened to that owl.

My oldest nephew enticed our pony, Paco, into the kitchen one morning. I woke up to find them both at the kitchen table having Cheerios for breakfast. We have Flemish Giant rabbits and they do come in the house. My youngest niece adores them.

We get chicks every spring. They come into the house under a heat lamp until they grow feathers and can survive outside.

So this is a strange household I live in. I have always lived on this farm and I just grew up with the oddness as my normal way of life. A lot of people just don't understand but, well, this is a farm and we do what we have to for our animals.
Quick Reply
Cancel
Page 6 of 66  •  Prev 1 ... 4 5 6 7 8 ... 66 Next
 
    Viewing this thread :: 0 registered and 1 guest
    No registered users viewing
    Advertisement

    Beliefnet On Facebook