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6 years ago  ::  Aug 09, 2008 - 7:21PM #31
itty
Posts: 2,949
Comin' your way, Frankie.  We can enjoy it together. My fave to go with is a good silky French vanilla ice cream, with a good cup of coffee to finish. Ah, but I'll rollin' outta here!
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6 years ago  ::  Aug 09, 2008 - 7:21PM #32
itty
Posts: 2,949
Comin' your way, Frankie.  We can enjoy it together. My fave to go with is a good silky French vanilla ice cream, with a good cup of coffee to finish. Ah, but I'll rollin' outta here!
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6 years ago  ::  Aug 11, 2008 - 11:47AM #33
frankieestep
Posts: 682
WOW!!!  Thanks for the peach cobbler and the vanilla ice cream!!!  I feel like I may have to be trucked out on a hand cart!!!

Thanks for the Saloon, Itty.  We need a place to share and celebrate.  And to cry sometimes.
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6 years ago  ::  Aug 12, 2008 - 9:25PM #34
itty
Posts: 2,949
:)  We do need a place to celebrate and help each other cry. This journey takes a toll at times, doesn't it?

I find myself in a really strange position with my family. I love them, they support me and they love me. Yet, they are pretty clueless at times. I don't dwell on cancer. I do so many things. But I also know that I am not getting well. My goal is stability.

For the family I am done with cancer now. We found it, excised it, did chemo and radiation and it is gone. They think I should just go back to my life and who I was before the diagnosis. I can't. I am not that person any longer. I don't think this is a bad thing for me. I have had to really do some very serious assessment about my life, my goals and how to reach those goals. So this has been a mixed blessing for me.

I think this is a form of denial for them. They can afford to do that. I just can't.

Does that make sense?
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6 years ago  ::  Aug 13, 2008 - 1:35AM #35
n0parkin
Posts: 2,350
This thread was amazing to read.  Everybody here is so brave.  It is making me cry to see such wonderful people battling this. 
The last post here was right on for me.  My partner and I had a discussion just the other day how things have changed and how that's OK - things had to change - we've been through a lot.  He says he's got new priorities now.  Work isn't as important as it was for him now.  We sit down and talk more as a family.  Things can be good through this.  Things can even get better than they were before I think.  I've got to stop thinking that I want things they way they were before this. 

I'm partial to rice.  I love the stuff.  Do they serve any rice dishes at the bar?  I'd like to request 'Try a little tenderness' for the band.  You don't hear that song often enough!
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6 years ago  ::  Aug 13, 2008 - 10:07AM #36
itty
Posts: 2,949
We serve rice, my friend. We serve anything that we can think up! Got a favorite? I am partial to paiea. Let me try that phonetically pie-a-ya.  Spelling isn't a strong suit. ;)

I love that song!

It really can be hard to go forward at times. It is for me. There are times when I just want to go back to my life before cancer. it was a pretty good one!  I think you're right that our lives can be better than they were before. Different and better.

Noparkin' you're a special man. I am glad you are here.
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6 years ago  ::  Aug 15, 2008 - 12:09AM #37
frankieestep
Posts: 682
Nope, we aren't the same people after the diagnosis.  We tend to realize that life is a lot shorter than we think.  We don't waste as much time on worthless pursuits, and we spend more time just plain loving each other.  I love the song "Live like you were dying" by Tim McGraw.  It does truly say a lot about how we live when we realize how short the time we have truly is.

Life is hard.  It's harder when you are unaware of the important things.  Like showing your family and friends that you love them.  Like spending time with the grandkids, just hanging out.  Like reading to a blind friend.  Like helping our folks with their needs.  Sure, it makes us busy, but we need to be busy loving each other.  Showing our love.  Taking cookies to our neighbors and taking the time to sit down and have coffee with them.

Or just posting on an internet website about our journey.  Any way that we can reach out to another soul, and love them and help them with their journey, we've truly lived that moment in time.

So I'll ask for a little country music now, and let's all "Live like you were dying"!!
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6 years ago  ::  Sep 02, 2008 - 12:56AM #38
ittybittyone
Posts: 155
This is itty I had an issue with my screen name. Somehow B'net' ate the email address that goes with itty and they can't get it back. Yet. I have some hope but not much.  This is my new screen name. It's close enough that I think it's recognizable as me.  :)

Frankie, you are so right. I am sorry I haven't stopped in recently. Honestly, I needed a break. It seems that cancer is has the staring role throughout my family.

One of my first cousins has been battling lung cancer. She passed away on Friday. She was 60. She was not so old. It was, honestly, a relief. She was in horrible pain at the end and now she isn't in pain any longer.

The tradegy doesn't stop there for this family. One of my cousin's sisters was just dianosed with lung cancer. She is 53. Sooooo the whole round starts for her now.

Sigh....I have a bad week ahead of me. Tomorrow I go to sit with Ellie's brothers and sisters as she has surgery. On Wednesday, we lay Jane to rest. Yep, cancer sure does seem to be taking center stage in my family. It ticks me off to no end. 

I think I'll have a beer and an avocado sammie.  Yeah, and some good hard driving rock and roll. Deep Purple sounds about right.....Smoke on the water.....Fire in the sky....
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6 years ago  ::  Sep 02, 2008 - 8:49PM #39
frankieestep
Posts: 682
Itty,  It's so good to see you back again!!  I'm so sorry about the loss in your family, and about the new diagnosis.  Cancer sure does take it's toll. 

I think I'll join you with that beer, but I'm going to have pizza with mine.  Deep Purple is an excellent choice for the day!
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6 years ago  ::  Sep 03, 2008 - 11:01AM #40
ittybittyone
Posts: 155
Thanks Frankie. I am glad to be back. I wondered if I would ever find my way here again. I didn't want to give up my old screen name but well it's sort of symbolic that I had to. I started this journey into cancer as one person. I have become another person. It just seems fitting somehow that as I have changed my screen name did too.

My cousin, Ellie, came through the surgery very well. She didn't have to go on a resperator or a ventilator. She was awake and alert- as one can be after a major surgery- when I left last evening. The news wasn't as good as hoped. The surgeon couldn't take all of the tumor in the upper portion of the left lung. She has diminished lung capacity and taking the tumor and surrounding lung tissue would have meant she wouldn't be able to sustain life. The surgeon also found another tumor farther down in the left lung. It was golf ball sized. Not good.

Ellie is fiesty and is a little spitfire. This tiny woman has more get up and go in body than do five normal people. She is determined, stubborn and a real fighter. If any person can do this it will be Ellie.

I think I'm leaving Deep Purple on for a while. It suits right now.  Ahhhh....breakfast. I think I'm gonna set up and make pancakes from scratch....with homemade peach jam....I know you can have that here in cyberspace....wanna a stack?
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