Post Reply
Page 1 of 4  •  1 2 3 4 Next
Switch to Forum Live View First person singular
5 years ago  ::  Dec 12, 2008 - 12:14PM #1
cherubino
Posts: 7,277

Sometimes I think we need a  new vocabulary here, because the meanings of the words "addiction" and  "alcoholism" become awfully vague and open-ended when these are used  to categorize behaviors as dissimilar as knitting or stamp  collecting with needing to pour a stiff shot of vodka with trembling hands at  6:00 AM to calm one's stomach and nerves. Been there, done that. But it's also an exercise in factual  futility to make these terms specifiable and quantifiable, and so generalize  from particular cases to a set of norms that apply to everyone.


Here's my favorite story  about that. A friend of mine is a  retired DJ and music reporter from Hartford, CT. One night in the 1970s he and  his wife were covering a concert in Boston by the classical pianist, Artur  Rubinstein, who was then about 87. To their surprise, Rubinstein's goon picked  them out of the crowd of reporters and invited them into his dressing room for a  pre-concert interview. As they talked, Rubinstein  reached into the cabinet and pulled out a jug of Scotch, from which he poured a  large tumbler full to the brim. Then, like a linebacker quaffing Gatorade on the  bench, he sucked down the whole thing in one long gulp. He then went out and  electrified his audience for the next two hours.


Alcohol affects different  people in different ways. This video clip is Rubinstein in his last recital in  London at the age of 89 with, assuming his routine went as usual, a good 10 or  12 ounces of Scotch under his belt:



Now I for one can't drink  without becoming desperately ill, and I sure as heck can't play the piano. But I  don't begrudge those who can, and I say that when a man can play like that at  89, he can drink anything and as much of it as he wants. Maybe those of us who  say there must be one measure for all are just being sorry for ourselves because  we can't.


I'll be happy to tell you my  recovery story, and I'll be glad to listen to yours. But under no circumstances  does "I did" necessarily imply that "You should." Yet for some strange reason we  alkies seem to have a mental block that prevents us from making that distinction  very clearly. Nevertheless, if the shoe fits...

Quick Reply
Cancel
5 years ago  ::  Dec 12, 2008 - 7:38PM #2
mikeincolorado
Posts: 393
I just finished up visiting with a Friend in the fellowship. One of the things we discussed - one-size-fits-all doesn't.

To me, the mental block you referred to isn't so strange. Given my condition, it's to be expected. Part of the effects of self-centered-ness. Of course everyone is like me and needs to do what I do.

Now, once the malady is overcome, I can become open to the idea that "God is everything" - that not everyone needs to have my experience. I also no longer require that one-size-fits-all attitude to validate my experience, my connection with this power.

At that point (and only then) it became "God as we understood him", rather than God as someone else understands. The former gives me a wonderful way of life. The latter? Well, I didn't drink, but I was awful unhappy.

I will also take this opportunity to share that I found this self-centeredness to be extremely subtle. There was one idea in particular that I was unable to see as self-centeredness. However, when I was finally able to see it for what it was, then it was a simple matter to take steps 6 & 7. But not before.

I much prefer not being the center-of-all-things. :D
Mike

*******************************************************
"When I've learned enough to really live, I'll be old enough to die" - Johnny Cash
Quick Reply
Cancel
5 years ago  ::  Dec 12, 2008 - 7:38PM #3
mikeincolorado
Posts: 393
I just finished up visiting with a Friend in the fellowship. One of the things we discussed - one-size-fits-all doesn't.

To me, the mental block you referred to isn't so strange. Given my condition, it's to be expected. Part of the effects of self-centered-ness. Of course everyone is like me and needs to do what I do.

Now, once the malady is overcome, I can become open to the idea that "God is everything" - that not everyone needs to have my experience. I also no longer require that one-size-fits-all attitude to validate my experience, my connection with this power.

At that point (and only then) it became "God as we understood him", rather than God as someone else understands. The former gives me a wonderful way of life. The latter? Well, I didn't drink, but I was awful unhappy.

I will also take this opportunity to share that I found this self-centeredness to be extremely subtle. There was one idea in particular that I was unable to see as self-centeredness. However, when I was finally able to see it for what it was, then it was a simple matter to take steps 6 & 7. But not before.

I much prefer not being the center-of-all-things. :D
Mike

*******************************************************
"When I've learned enough to really live, I'll be old enough to die" - Johnny Cash
Quick Reply
Cancel
5 years ago  ::  Dec 15, 2008 - 3:39PM #4
amellcheney
Posts: 4
I have been sober since 08/18/1988 and it was not my choice at the time but it made me feel much better.
I was a very mean drunk an angry drunk.  I got sober through AA at a place that looked more like a biker bar then a AA meeting place.  It was what I needed at that time.  My ex was a biker and one night while drunk I attacked him knocking out his front teeth and giving him a black eye.  Thankfully he did not hit back but the next morning he took me to a AA meeting kicking and screaming.  He got sober while I continued to drink another couple of years.   With a little over 20 years sober I don't miss the drinking and all the drama.  I no longer go to AA but would not hesitate to go back.
Quick Reply
Cancel
5 years ago  ::  Dec 15, 2008 - 3:39PM #5
amellcheney
Posts: 4
I have been sober since 08/18/1988 and it was not my choice at the time but it made me feel much better.
I was a very mean drunk an angry drunk.  I got sober through AA at a place that looked more like a biker bar then a AA meeting place.  It was what I needed at that time.  My ex was a biker and one night while drunk I attacked him knocking out his front teeth and giving him a black eye.  Thankfully he did not hit back but the next morning he took me to a AA meeting kicking and screaming.  He got sober while I continued to drink another couple of years.   With a little over 20 years sober I don't miss the drinking and all the drama.  I no longer go to AA but would not hesitate to go back.
Quick Reply
Cancel
5 years ago  ::  Dec 15, 2008 - 7:53PM #6
mikeincolorado
Posts: 393
Sounds pretty exciting - in a not-fun way!
Welcome to our little corner of b'net, amellcheny
Mike

*******************************************************
"When I've learned enough to really live, I'll be old enough to die" - Johnny Cash
Quick Reply
Cancel
5 years ago  ::  Dec 31, 2008 - 3:06PM #7
LukeListener
Posts: 1
It's always refreshing when an old timer in a meeting mentions that there are other ways to get sober than the AA way. It deflates a little of the my-way-or-the-highway dogmatism that often does more to scare newcomers away than anything else in the program.
Quick Reply
Cancel
5 years ago  ::  Jan 04, 2009 - 1:14AM #8
trudging
Posts: 159
[QUOTE=LukeListener;988509]It's always refreshing when an old timer in a meeting mentions that there are other ways to get sober than the AA way. It deflates a little of the my-way-or-the-highway dogmatism that often does more to scare newcomers away than anything else in the program.[/QUOTE]

Thats right but they're not in this book.

If all the God talk scares em away the booze will scare em back,
if they don't want what we have I hope they go find it soon because AA and the Big Book ain't changing.
Quick Reply
Cancel
5 years ago  ::  Jan 04, 2009 - 1:14AM #9
trudging
Posts: 159
[QUOTE=LukeListener;988509]It's always refreshing when an old timer in a meeting mentions that there are other ways to get sober than the AA way. It deflates a little of the my-way-or-the-highway dogmatism that often does more to scare newcomers away than anything else in the program.[/QUOTE]

Thats right but they're not in this book.

If all the God talk scares em away the booze will scare em back,
if they don't want what we have I hope they go find it soon because AA and the Big Book ain't changing.
Quick Reply
Cancel
5 years ago  ::  Jan 04, 2009 - 8:27PM #10
mikeincolorado
Posts: 393
Trudging,
AA (The fellowship and the book) have changed, and will probably continue to do so.

The program of action HAS remained consistent, but there are no guarantees. Here's a part that I feel can apply to this topic;


Our book is meant to be suggestive only. We realize we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick. The answers will come, if your own house is in order. But obviously you cannot transmit something you haven't got. See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the Great Fact for us.
Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny.
May God bless you and keep you -- until then.

Mike

*******************************************************
"When I've learned enough to really live, I'll be old enough to die" - Johnny Cash
Quick Reply
Cancel
Page 1 of 4  •  1 2 3 4 Next
 
    Viewing this thread :: 0 registered and 1 guest
    No registered users viewing
    Advertisement

    Beliefnet On Facebook