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Switch to Forum Live View Karbie, my condolences....
3 years ago  ::  Aug 20, 2011 - 8:48PM #1
JoyceB53
Posts: 2,351
Karbie, I'm sorry to hear about your uncle's death.   If I remember correctly, you won't be able to go to his funeral, right?   So, I'm also sorry you won't be able to be there for your mom.  How is she taking it?  Is she going to be ok?  Prayer has been sent for you and your family.  God bless.  (((((((KARBIE)))))))
Today is the day that the Lord hath made; we shall rejoice and be glad in it.

---Psalm 118:24
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3 years ago  ::  Aug 25, 2011 - 5:38PM #2
karbie
Posts: 3,329

Thank you so much. His funeral is Saturday--or memorial service, since he has chosen cremation. I know that his spirit shot up like a sky rocket to be reunited with the love of his life. I feel sorry for my cousins--they've become orphans in less than a year. I thank God that he had those final 10 minutes of alertness so that his children got a chance to say goodbye. Especially for his oldest daughter, who came the furthest and up until then hadn't really been given the chance to talk to him at all.


We knew that once the prognosis changed from months to days that any time he was aware belonged to his children.  4 kids, 12 grandchildren. I had kept myself from writing him all my memories about his taking my sister and I aside to ask us to be very, very nice when he first brought his future wife home from college to meet the family. I can still see where she sat, etc--but he had more memories of her than he could handle and I realized that while sharing might help me, it would only hurt him more. I got his thanks for being that considerate about 3 times afterward from Mother...she told me the fact I loved him too much to add to his pain meant a great deal...and that he wished more people had taken that into consideration.


Mother is going along with my sister, my niece and my brother-in-law. Mother saw her doctor's aide and was told it was up to her. There is going to be a physical cost to pay in pain from the trip; she's weighed it against the guiltof not being there and not getting to say goodbye and chosen the shorter term pain. I'm glad for my cousins they will be there; I know how close they are to Mother and just how much still having an older relative will help the grandkids.


I'm getting ready to start another fun round of antibiotics. At 6 pills a day, this garbage should all be gone but it isn't. so it's a physical impossibility and I have to accept it even if it's one of those times when being a mature person actually bites. It helps to know where he is ; He's in Heaven with his wife, best friend, and a lot of people he's loved that got there before him. I'm holding on to that thought.

"You are letting your opinion be colored by facts again."
'When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you."
these are both from my father.
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3 years ago  ::  Aug 26, 2011 - 12:00PM #3
joycon
Posts: 2,788

(((((Karbie))))))

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3 years ago  ::  Aug 27, 2011 - 9:59AM #4
lapatosu
Posts: 2,855

Karbie - You and your family are in my prayers.  You did good on the letter thing, but maybe you should write it out, and then save it as part of your cherished memories.

Lynne
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3 years ago  ::  Aug 29, 2011 - 9:26PM #5
karbie
Posts: 3,329

Thank you both. I'd already promised my mother that I would write out my memories of the family, especially when it turned out I remembered things Grandpa told us about that she didn't know herself. When he finally got hearing aids and could hear me, he told me-and my husband sometimes--things he hadn't shared with anyone else. Like the day he promised my Aunt Kathy he wouldn't make her have any more transfusions for her leukemia even though it meant her life would end. He told us that when they had her at the Mayo Clinic, the transfusions didn't hurt her, but during that last ones he could hear her screams clear down the hall. I doubt if he had shared that part of it, even with Grandma. It was clear that he'd never stopped hearing them.


Mother didn't know that Grandpa had been farmed out after his step-father remarried. He had been talking about living a mile from Lake Erie, chopping wood, wading through the snow to the outhouse--but what great meals Grandma made. That's why I was searchinng cookbooks for Green tomato Mincemeat--he was talking about how good it was and how he wished he could taste it again...and he did. Anything to keep weight on him--that was back when I did canning. Zuchinni pickles, zuchinni bread, peach butter--anything where the taste was strong enough to get through the medication. I'm there too- this anitbiotic leaves a horrible aftertaste that builds up the longer you take it and the higher the dose.


I'll always be glad that I got to have a friendship with Grandpa. When we were growing up we were basically told not to ask questions--he was in an orphanage by the time he met the man who would become "Dad" and change his life dramatically. We learned a lot when we took him back to Norwalk, OH--I started asking questions on the way up and I have to give my husband full credit for that trip. He'd heard Grandpa mention he'd never get back home again because he couldn't drive that far. He won the use of a company car for a moneysaving suggestion, so he got a Chrysler New Yorker and took him in style. Grandpa completely planned that trip to see as many things again as he could. The only thing he missed was the ferry to Kelley's Island. We went there a few years later with our son and completed that part of the journey for him.


Thank you again.

"You are letting your opinion be colored by facts again."
'When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you."
these are both from my father.
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