We're sorry you feel so badly right now. Perhaps talking to a caring person who is trained to help might be of benefit? We have three resources you could try. We hope you will contact one of them as soon as possible. You deserve to get help, and to get it sooner rather than later.
1. If you are thinking about suicide, click here before you do anything. This site is called Metanoi and is the brainchild of an individual whose mission is to "break down barriers that keep people from getting the help they need."
2. If you are in the U.S., call 1-800-SUICIDE any time, day or night. When you call this free number, you will be connected immediately to a caring, trained counselor in your region. The sooner you make this call, the better. Or you can click here to get to their site. They are known as Befrienders International, whose mission is to reach out to people in situations such as yours.
3. Finally, if you feel relatively safe at present, free anonymous crisis counseling is available by e-mail from an international charity known as The Samaritans. Click here to get to their site. Your email address is not revealed to them - it is kept in anonymity within their system.
On behalf of the Beliefnet Community Staff, know that you are in our prayers.