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4 years ago  ::  Mar 21, 2010 - 9:04PM #11
Kodiacman
Posts: 2,541

Feb 27, 2010 -- 3:57PM, andrewcyrus wrote:


How did you know you were consumed by your own addiction to self?


 


Were you so into self that you couldn't talk to others?


When you are communicating do you care only about your point?


 


 





Andrew,


Nice op. I think that selfishness, or better put thinking only of myself,  is the perhaps harder to overcome than the drugs were. I still get selfish and think of myself and I have to remind myself that I need others in  my life. I find with my daughter and family are around and involved my life I begin to think more clearly. I find it to be strange that when I am in a 'funk' if I will get together with a freind or go grab a coke with my daughter or pick of the phone the dark clouds just seem the dissapear. I get out of my self pity and life has more meaning again.


I do agree it is more about others for that is where we have a better life and a better system of support. I feel sorry for persons who are alone and don't have much support in thier lives. I know how much it helps me, and I think my daughter is happier when she sees me too.


blessings


If someone wants to doubt the existence of Jesus, my experience is that no evidence or argument will change his mind. Such is the nature of skepticism.~Editor fourth R
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4 years ago  ::  Jun 04, 2010 - 7:02PM #12
Seefan
Posts: 3,926

Mar 21, 2010 -- 9:04PM, Kodiacman wrote:

 

Feb 27, 2010 -- 3:57PM, andrewcyrus wrote:


How did you know you were consumed by your own addiction to self? Were you so into self that you couldn't talk to others?  When you are communicating do you care only about your point?  




Andrew,


Nice op. I think that selfishness, or better put thinking only of myself,  is the perhaps harder to overcome than the drugs were. I still get selfish and think of myself and I have to remind myself that I need others in  my life. I find with my daughter and family are around and involved my life I begin to think more clearly. I find it to be strange that when I am in a 'funk' if I will get together with a freind or go grab a coke with my daughter or pick of the phone the dark clouds just seem the dissapear. I get out of my self pity and life has more meaning again.


I do agree it is more about others for that is where we have a better life and a better system of support. I feel sorry for persons who are alone and don't have much support in thier lives. I know how much it helps me, and I think my daughter is happier when she sees me too.


blessings 





One of the things we say in AA is that alcohol (or drugs) are only a symptom of a much bigger problem - self!  Helping others, talking with others helps to get out of self and focus on other.  So your post makes a lot of sense to me ...


 


 

Today the one overriding need is unity and harmony among the beloved of the Lord, for they should have among them but one heart and soul and should, so far as in them lieth, unitedly withstand the hostility of all the peoples of the world ... (Baha'i Writings)
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4 years ago  ::  Jul 30, 2010 - 9:18AM #13
David106
Posts: 38

I kind of think that "self" is what people are really addicted to, and that addiction takes different FORMS. It may appear to be alcoholism or cigs or sex or coke, but the real addiction is to one's own being. Alcohol or whatever it is merely provides a representation, a contextual field, in which that addiction is experienced.

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4 years ago  ::  Jul 30, 2010 - 9:35AM #14
David106
Posts: 38

.....or maybe it's LOVE that people are really addicted to. I just feel that addictions have a deeper source than the apparent object of addiction. It's like an addiction to a SPIRITUAL reality, one's true self, or ONENESS with God.....there must be some higher part of the individual that they're fixated on.

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4 years ago  ::  Jul 31, 2010 - 4:07PM #15
andrewcyrus
Posts: 4,253

Jul 30, 2010 -- 9:35AM, David106 wrote:


.....or maybe it's LOVE that people are really addicted to. I just feel that addictions have a deeper source than the apparent object of addiction. It's like an addiction to a SPIRITUAL reality, one's true self, or ONENESS with God.....there must be some higher part of the individual that they're fixated on.




 


Hi Dave,


I found this You tube revealing and learned a little bit more about some of my own disorders. Something I have to keep the focus on to recover.


"or maybe it's LOVE that people are really addicted to"


www.youtube.com/watch?v=OgCBSxjOllw&feat...


 


 


 




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4 years ago  ::  Aug 01, 2010 - 9:55PM #16
David106
Posts: 38

Thank you, Andrew. I enjoyed that video.

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4 years ago  ::  Feb 22, 2011 - 8:38PM #17
Estacia
Posts: 2,209

Jul 31, 2010 -- 4:07PM, andrewcyrus wrote:

Jul 30, 2010 -- 9:35AM, David106 wrote:


.....or maybe it's LOVE that people are really addicted to. I just feel that addictions have a deeper source than the apparent object of addiction. It's like an addiction to a SPIRITUAL reality, one's true self, or ONENESS with God.....there must be some higher part of the individual that they're fixated on.




 


Hi Dave,


I found this You tube revealing and learned a little bit more about some of my own disorders. Something I have to keep the focus on to recover.


"or maybe it's LOVE that people are really addicted to"


www.youtube.com/watch?v=OgCBSxjOllw&feat...


 


 


 





I believe personally that people are addicted to the (idea) of love. The want and dersire of being loved yet when it comes down to it most (not all) cannot handle love relationships because they don't love themselves and/or the are emotionally unstable

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3 years ago  ::  Sep 29, 2011 - 4:51PM #18
astral_tourist
Posts: 8

Hi Andrew,


I am familiar with narcissists and narcissism. I am not sure if most addicts/alcoholics are true narcissists as defined by the mental health field. I have discussed this with a friend who is in recovery, and happens to be a psychiatrist...he says that true narcissists rarely seek treatment. They usually don't make it.


For me, I was self-obsessed, self-centered...and as you have probably read many times, I was an "egomaniac with an inferiority complex." Step work with my sponsor...especially steps 2-4, deflated that ego and helped to remove me as the center of my universe. I was not, nor am I a narcissist. Selfish, yes, but I am not the same person I was when I was an active addict/alcoholic. I care, and my actions reflect this. I have had that "psychic change" that you read about in the Big Book...I am grateful today. Thanks...

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3 years ago  ::  Oct 29, 2011 - 1:53AM #19
andrewcyrus
Posts: 4,253

Sep 29, 2011 -- 4:51PM, astral_tourist wrote:


Hi Andrew,


I am familiar with narcissists and narcissism. I am not sure if most addicts/alcoholics are true narcissists as defined by the mental health field. I have discussed this with a friend who is in recovery, and happens to be a psychiatrist...he says that true narcissists rarely seek treatment. They usually don't make it.


For me, I was self-obsessed, self-centered...and as you have probably read many times, I was an "egomaniac with an inferiority complex." Step work with my sponsor...especially steps 2-4, deflated that ego and helped to remove me as the center of my universe. I was not, nor am I a narcissist. Selfish, yes, but I am not the same person I was when I was an active addict/alcoholic. I care, and my actions reflect this. I have had that "psychic change" that you read about in the Big Book...I am grateful today. Thanks...




 


"he says that true narcissists rarely seek treatment. They usually don't make it."


 


I see them come into meetings court ordered, and they struggle with the steps. The prisons in Nevada are over crowded. Two places on earth that deal with the narcissist and his pre-occupations with self preservation. One is prison and the others is the graveyard. Two institutional icons totally devoted to self preservation.

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