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Switch to Forum Live View A Caregiver who Now Must Care For Himself
7 years ago  ::  Dec 20, 2010 - 10:16PM #11
Posts: 1

I respect and agree with many ideas and opinions posted here. Grieving is a very personal process, and we need to respect ourselves, and be respected  for our own experience. I have had 4 losses in a 15 month period, the last my dear husband of 33 years, just this October 12, 2010. Tomarrow will be 10 weeks. For the first 4 days after he died, I couldn't remember how to use my cell phone. It took a month before I was willing to go to the store. I have gone to breakfast once with a close friend, and I couldn't wait to get home. Everybody who cares about me has an idea or opinion, I appreciate them, but need to be left to find my own way. I am going to take my time to figure out my new life.

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7 years ago  ::  Oct 28, 2011 - 4:22PM #12
Posts: 1,799

I was only 6 when I was diagnosed with Epilepsy.
On the morning of January 26,1974 my whole world fell apart.
That was the day my mom suffered a massive stroke which would lead to
an inopberbal brain tumor which she'd latter pass from on September 29,1974

This stroke made me growup real fast.
I had to not only take care of her,but I had to take care of myself and my Dad.
It wasn't easy,not by a longshot. Sometimes I was flying by the seat of my pants>
Luckly my parents had taught me to cook,do laundry,shop.
So that was my contribution, dad took care of mom,and he paid the bills.
He had retired just 6 months before the stroke happened.
He was really frustrated that he was loosing his best friend/life's partner.

Now after mom passed I got married on February 19,1978.
I married a wonderful guy who's from a well off family.
Now I didn't really know it when I first met him but he's
got ADHD, it's a mental problem.

It's like living with someone who's 16 years old but who's got the patience of a 4year old
And the attention span of a two year old. He just turned 56 on September 24th.
He has a steady job, which he's worked at for 37 years.
He's a good provider,hard worker.
He loves me dearly,he worries about me because of the Epilepsy.

But I'm the one who's the caregiver in this house.
I have to worry if he's dressed correctly for the kind of weather outside
or how he's eating,he's got diabetes beside the ADHD.
I'm the one who schedules all doctor appointments and keeps out
social calender straight,and I also make sure the bills get paid on time.

On top of this I try to take care of myself.??
Besides the Epilepsy,I suffer from high colesterol/high blood pressure,migraines
a really bad lower back and I've got two bad knees.
We've not gone to the dentist for afew years and I need dental work done.
I must go to my doctor who I've not seen since April since I went to meet
my baby sister in Los Angles.
My tegretol levels must be taken,along with my bp/colesterol levels
And I'm due to have a mammogram.

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6 years ago  ::  Dec 21, 2011 - 7:58PM #13
Posts: 26

A caregiver must also take time and efforts to comfort him/herself as well.  This is his physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual support to perform his duty.

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3 years ago  ::  Dec 24, 2014 - 7:00AM #14
Posts: 1,799

I'm here all because of the fact that my life has just had a emotional bomb dropped into it!
My father in law,and his two older sister are all suffering from dementia.
I've been a caregiver before,for my late parents and one of my uncles.

I've been dreading what's happening for years.
You see, my husband suffers from ADHD, and I'm his "rock"
Thank the Lord, for my husband's older brothers.
I know that they will help me when their parents leave the world.

Needing prayers for my in-laws and my aunts.

This is going to begin a long stretch of a complex months.

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