My mother-in-law is 82 years old, and it was necessary for her to come to us last September after surgery.   My husband is her only child and they have never been close and this has not improved things; she is a very needy person over and above her ailments which are many and he is very selfish with his time and he has no patiene with her and feels that her complaints are hollow.  I feel that we should do all possible for our parents and I certainly am willing to try to do what I can.  I am beginning to feel that I am far too involved in this situation, emotionally, and they have me as a go between.  She came to us with enough money to see her thru and my husband took over her finances and she wants to know how much money she has and he won't tell her, she comes to me and I don't know and all of the physical work is mine, cleaning, feeding, giving of meds, cooking, washing, doctor's appointments, prescription buying, personal hygiene, emotional support, encouragement, conversation, you name it, the job is mine.  My husband who is also retired and foot loose and fancy free, just gets up and gets out.  I am more or less stuck here with her.  She cries that he does not communicate with her and he makes her feel bad, all that she feels bad about she comes to me.  I tell her to tell him, not me and I have told him that I am not an interpreter, I am not a message carrier and I am so very tired of all of these burdens placed on my back.  I am beginning to feel resentful and I know that is not a good sign and I keep praying for God to show me how to handle this and I feel my health going and there is nothing here for me.  After the day is done here for me, I don't feel like visiting my children and grandchildren, my church, I have even lost interest in myself.   I know that I should know what to do but I would just like to hear from you.

You have many options available to you on-line and within your community.  I get the impression that you are afraid to 'confront' or have a 'detailed' discussion about your mother-in-law and her assets with your husband. 

Your mother-in-law came to you with funds, then you need to know what they are, how they can be accessed, and if you are able to administer, because you husband could be hit by a bus tomorrow and you need to know what he has done with her funds. - AND you need to be able to administer them.  You could be out on a limb with a crancky old woman whose income has suddenly disappeared and you are responsible.  IF she has adequate funds, she could go into a nursing home or assisted living.  Contact a Geriatrics Care Manager in your area...they are all listed on the internet and get their input.  Burn out comes faster than you think  I have been in the 'Care Management' business for 8 years and it can get weary.  Reach out to your church, your community and on-line resouces.