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5 years ago  ::  Apr 02, 2009 - 5:35PM #1
Mattp
Posts: 1

Why is it when I'm sober


 


Everything hurts me inside


 


I reach out to god for freedom


 


Freedom from the screams in my mind


 


I let god in


 


I try not to sin


 


I always try to be kind


 


 


 


 


They tell me to do this for me


 


Look deep in myself to find me


 


If I am happy with me


 


I will find what I need


 


To get myself free from my mind


 


 


 


I am doing all this for me


 


I am not trying to hide inside me


 


God gives me repreves


 


And I am happy with me


 


But I can't seem to let myself fly


 


 


 


No one lets me in


 


Or tells me of my sins


 


Those sins that I dont realize


 


 


 


 


I see them everyday


 


I always stop & say hey


 


They let me walk on


 


Like I'm doing it wrong


 


But I look deep inside & don't see


 


 


 


I try to find help to see


 


Except no one is talkig with me


 


So I sit here alone in a crowd


 


I just want to sit here & cry


 


 


 


When I cry it helps me inside


 


Gets me free from the screems in my mind


 


 


 


I am peaceful again


 


I am letting god in


 


I am doing the best that I can


 


 


 


What is it that I have to be


 


So peaple start talking with me


 


And I might loose that hurt inside

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5 years ago  ::  Apr 02, 2009 - 9:49PM #2
karbie
Posts: 3,300

Sometimes it is lonelier when there are a lot of people around than when we are by ourselves, since at least then no one is ignoring us. Being comfortable in our own mind or skin is tricky for most people....and you will find on any of these forums that when you post here, people will post back. I stopped feeling so isolated when I found people to talk to who understood what I was going physically.


I just wanted you to know that someone heard you.

"You are letting your opinion be colored by facts again."
'When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you."
these are both from my father.
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5 years ago  ::  Apr 02, 2009 - 10:01PM #3
sixth step phobia
Posts: 733

The eternal question how to get away from yourself


"Wherever you go there you are"


The answer is paradoxical as all great truths are


Get drunk, stoned, eat, have sex, blah blah blah bla bla


Yet in the end we are all failures


In the words of Shakespeare " A tale told by an idiot signifying nothing"


Oh yeah the answer !! Be a great failure


Once you truly accept that all structures are unstable including your mind (ego) you transcend it and find that "you (true essence)" are the answer


"you are the truth the way and the life"


 

Spiritual awakening is awakening from the dream of thought
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5 years ago  ::  Apr 03, 2009 - 3:22PM #4
Agnosticspirit
Posts: 9,253

Hello MattP --- you wouldn't be mattyp, by any chance? Welcome back to A&R, I've been wondering where you were....


Nice post.... sometimes you'll feel more lonely in a crowd of friends and strangers than you will alone in the wilderness. You can never escape yourself. Your mind is not your enemy, it can be your friend if you let it.


(((( hugs )))))


AS

Tribalism, ethnocentricism, racism, nationalism, and FEAR is the Mind Killer... >:(

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