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Switch to Forum Live View Crack Kills Your Life And You Will To Live
4 years ago  ::  Feb 13, 2009 - 12:39PM #1
robert hutchison
Posts: 1
Hi My Name Is Rob I Have Been Delling With My Girlfriends Crack Addiction For Almost 5 Years Now. And My Body And Mind Are Exhausted I Dont Know How To Release Her With Love. I Am Afraid It Will Just Send Her Back Out There And I Am Terified Dont Know What To Do Anymoore Any Sugestions? God Bless All Of You    Thanks And God Bless...
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4 years ago  ::  Feb 13, 2009 - 1:11PM #2
Free2beme09
Posts: 733
Welcome Robert!  I am sorry to hear that the one you love is sick his way.  My mother has been an addict for many years.  You have to let go.  We have all been blinded by the love for the person afflicted and fear for the well being.  But we simply lie to ourselves when we "hold on to save their life." We usually do more enabling then anything.  It simply slows down the rock bottom process. 
What ever you trying to delay from happening will simply happen anyway.  Your girlfriend can not live if she doesn't want too.  I hope you can find some support in your local community, have you contacted local agencies that provide support for those with addicted loved one?  I hope you will stay with us.  Peace be with you!
Religion is for those afraid of hell.  Spirituality is had by those who have been there!
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4 years ago  ::  Feb 13, 2009 - 7:37PM #3
ODIECOM
Posts: 326
welcome, as free stated, its may be time to simply let go. theres nothing you can do unless she wants to get help. we end up living in misery through the addicts life. the concern is great and the effort is admirable.
  its time to decide which road to choose .. your wellbeing going to hell through her life or releasing her.
there is no easy way to release.  the choice is as painful as the one the addict has to make. unfortunitly the addict at this point ... is making the easy choice ... easy for WHO ?
you dont want to see her situation turn worse, bu tit will no matter WHAT YOU DO.
releasing doenst mean not loving, it means releasing yourself as well from the misery you are in too.
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4 years ago  ::  Feb 13, 2009 - 11:29PM #4
Xena4Christ
Posts: 249
I knew of some people who did that crack stuff.   (I'm extremely paranoid about how to word things.).

Back in the day we use to all get together and grill out and play volleyball and meet down at the beach all afternoon.  When I discovered 'these people' were doing crack it really made me feel sad  (for want of a better phrase).   One person use to be such a beaufiful woman.    Now she's hideous.   I don't love her less for it, I'm just bothered and sad about it.    She came over one day and said she didn't want people talking about her behind her back.   (She thought my husband was).  I just mumbled that nobody wanted anyone to talk behind his back.  Then we started talking about vacuum cleaners and the subject was forgotten.   

Back in the day, I use to be so intimidated by this woman.   Once when I had drank 4 matilda bays  (they discontinued those wine coolers)   and had tried some moonshine for the first time, just before my love-affair with the commode, I hugged her tight and told her I loved her but felt like she was way up here  *indicating way up high*  and I was way down here  *indicating way down low*.  She just laughed that night and said she just fiinished high school and nothing more.     Still, I felt intimidated.  She just had a way about her. 

Anyway, tell your girlfriend  about this story-- how this beautiful intimidating woman turned into a bodiless slug that resembles jaba the hut only with more wrinkles.  I bet she'll think a bit more about the subject.
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4 years ago  ::  Feb 16, 2009 - 11:46PM #5
Godbewithu
Posts: 5
Robert,  The only way to have any hope is to get her into an in patient treatment center.  I have seen first hand over the past 6 months the devestating effects of crack.

My best friend met his girlfriend last July.  After she moved in with him he discovered her addiction.  He tried everything to get her help.  Even after she GAVE his car to a dealer with 3k of golf equipment in the trunk he still tried to help her.  To make a long story short she wouldn't go to an inpatient facility and thought she could quit with AA meetings 2x a week.  She met another addict at a meeting a few weeks ago and left the meeting to get high on crack.  She didn't come home and the next day she was killed by police after she jacked a car and pointed a fake gun at the police.  She was a 25 year old woman with a 5 year old daughter.  If you like I will send you a link to the story.  Now my friend wishes he had stuck to his guns and made her go.
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4 years ago  ::  Feb 16, 2009 - 11:57PM #6
Godbewithu
Posts: 5
here is that link.
http://jacksonville.com/news/metro/2009 … _by_police

Her lengthy criminal record was a domestic violence charge from her ex husband 2 years ago.  We didn't know about the home invasion.  He had kicked her out whenshe gave away his car with his golf equipment in it but he let her come back  2 weeks later. 

Crack is bad.  Please show this to your girlfriend and GET HELP.  I'm sure there are drug treatment centers where you live.
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4 years ago  ::  Feb 17, 2009 - 9:51AM #7
Agnosticspirit
Posts: 9,253
Hello Robert H and GodBe, welcome to Beliefnet and welcome to A&R!

I too share the pessimism of others who have posted in response.... Crack makes you ugly, both within and without... It reduces the best within us, making us less human and more inhumane... It's truly an insidious addiction and very hard to quit. For those who are dealing with the crack addict, it's especially difficult dealing with the consequences.

One of my friends I'd known since high school was violently murdered nearly 20 years ago ---- her crack addiction morphed her from a meticulous, life-giving, warm woman who ironed her JEANS and sheets!!! to someone who could barely bother to change her clothes, shower, or leave her house because all she could think about was the next high. She left a 2 year old daughter behind when she was murdered in a drug deal gone bad. By the time she was killed, I had reduced my contact with her to only a monthly visit because I couldn't stand being around her despair and was afraid of the people that hung around her apartment. That's the story of one crack addict.

On a more positive note, my best friend of over 20 years has been clean from crack for 8 years. It took her a long time and many attempts to kick it. She finally did it --- for herself... Nothing I did, or her husband did, helped her quit. She found the will from within to kick it.

Best of luck to you and your girlfriend,
Tribalism, ethnocentricism, racism, nationalism, and FEAR is the Mind Killer... >:(

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