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7 years ago  ::  May 29, 2010 - 7:42AM #11
jesusfreakgal
Posts: 938

Do you think you could get her to see a psychiatrist? That might help maybe.


JFG

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7 years ago  ::  Jun 03, 2010 - 2:47PM #12
ecclecticmichele
Posts: 15

Hi, I'm Michele, and I have been caring for my Mother for eight years.  I put my life on hold to care for her and wouldn't have it any other way.  She now has an incurable bone marrow disease (myelodysblastic syndrome) and is in the final stages of the disease.  She just isn't producing enough white and red blood cells.  Now the doctor has said she has 4-6 months, give or take, and my heart is broken.


Momma and I have been so close for all of my life.  She is my best friend.  I know only God knows when it's time to go Home, but she is getting progressively weaker everyday.  I just don't want her to suffer or be in any pain.  She is in the hospital today for blood transfusions, but they don't work as well as before.  All I can do is make her as comfortable as possible and pray to God for guidance and strength to care for her to the best of my ability.


I love her so very much and can't think of life without her for the moment.  My brother lives with us and helps as much as he can, but I take care of all her personal needs.  I know there will come a time that I will need help from Hospice, but we aren't there yet.


I just needed to "talk" to someone who is going through similar situations and emotions.  Thank you for letting me share.  May the peace of God be with you all.


MicheleCry

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7 years ago  ::  Jun 09, 2010 - 12:46PM #13
ecclecticmichele
Posts: 15

It's Michele----Mom came home from the hospital yesterday (Tue) and her spirits lifted instantly.  It was as if she had a booster shot of energy I hadn't seen with other hospitalizations.


She has to be hospitalized for blood transfusions about every other week, but they had kept her a few extra days because of a rash.  They discontinued the chemo pill for now and will try it again next week to see if Mom is allergic to it.  This chemo drug is our last alternative--- not a cure, but to give her some more quality time.  It doesn't make her sick, thank God, but it can cause blood clots.


I'm hanging in there as best I can.  I get enough sleep, but my appetite is down---good for the waistline, but bad for the fuel needed.  I have to force myself to eat.  I have to remain strong for Mom and myself.  It is a privilege to care for her. 


Inside my nerves are shot---I have difficulty concentrating, remembering little things---I will even walk into a room to get something and then forget what it was I was getting!!Embarassed  I feel my brain is mush sometimes and OK at others.  Seems I have so much to think about and remember my brain is on overload. 


My brother isn't much help in that department----I don't really have anyone to vent to except you and another friend who lives in Washington state---I live in Texas.  I have a therapist, but can't leave Mom alone to go and see her.  If anyone  has any suggestions, please share them.  I feel like crying sometimes just to get out the emotions, but not in front of Mom.


I'm grateful to the Heavenly Father for every day I have with her.  There was a period in my life we were apart when I was in the Air Force, but any special occasions, Mom was there.  I and my ex-husband had retired on the Mississippi Gulf Coast, and Mom moved down and built a house in Bay St. Louis to be near me.  I started gambling at the casinos and it became compulsive to the point I shut out my husband and Mom.  I would just visit her briefly and say I had errands to run, but I was really going to the casino.  I lost my marriage, my IRAs, 401K, and the respect and trust of friends.  But Mom, although a trust had been broken, never gave up on me.  I regret all the time I lost that could have been spent with her, but that is the past and can't be changed.  I am just thankful to have this time with her and be the best daughter I can be.


Thank you for letting me share.  God bless each of you for the service and love you provide to your Moms.


Blessings,


Michele 

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7 years ago  ::  Jun 11, 2010 - 4:48PM #14
ecclecticmichele
Posts: 15

I don't know how to use this thread to communicate with any of you or read the posts. Please give guidance.


Mom has had three good days and her rash is almost gone!!  This time it seems the transfusions worked.  Her having good days make my days good as well.  I'm waiting for my brother to come home so I can go to the drug store and post office.  Someone has to be with Mom at all times.


I get a day off tomorrow and am going to see a movie with a friend.  It will be nice to get out of the house for a little while and visit.  My therapist said it was vital for me to get out and socialize for even a few hours or I would go stir crazy.  At first I felt a little guilty leaving Mom because there are certain things she only wants me to do.  But my brother, Mike, is perfectly capable of taking care of her needs.  Mom is able to go to the restroom by herself with Mike waiting outside the door.  She uses a walker and has to be accompanied wherever she goes.


She is so weak from the anemia the disease produces, she is subjects to potential falls.  She can't go out into public places because of her white blood cell count being so low.  She feels like a prisoner in her own home, so I try my best to keep her spirits up.


I get tired sometimes but never tired of caring for Momma.  I wouldn't have it any other way.  Perhaps a time may come when I need assistance, but for now things are OK as is.


That's about all for now.  God bless you who care for your Mothers.


MicheleSmile 

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7 years ago  ::  Jun 11, 2010 - 5:04PM #15
ecclecticmichele
Posts: 15

Dear Marsha,  I had trouble with my Mom's hygiene as well.  I finally used the words "time for your bath or shower" instead of asking the question "are you ready for your bath or shower?"  It worked wonders, although my Mom isn't bipolar, she does take a lot of meds that make her drowsy.  Mother's condition doesn't allow her to go out because her immune system is so low. 


All she does is sit in her recliner and watch TV, eat a little, sleep, go to the bathroom, and all over again.  I empathize with you.  I have gotten her to walk laps around the house, but I have to coax her to do that.  Nothing about this is easy, but for me I wouldn't have it any other way.  I've taken care of Mom for eight years now and am still sane.  But it's because Mom is such a sweet person to care for.


I don't know why seniors won't take baths or showers.  It may be they think they already did-- part of the dementia.  Anyway, that's what I did with Mom.  I even told she smelled like an old person and that got the response I wanted, so she showers every other day.


Hope this helps.  God bless, Michele

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7 years ago  ::  Jun 25, 2010 - 7:24PM #16
ecclecticmichele
Posts: 15

Mother was allergic to the oral chemo therapy drug.  She was admitted this past Tues for IV chemo and seems to be tolerating well, although she doesn't look good to me.  She is very weak and tired.  She'll get her last treatment Sat and come home.  She had to have 2 transfusions because her blood counts were low.Frown


Although I've asked, I still am unclear what this chemo is supposed  to achieve because cure isn't possible.  I know it's to give her time, but what quality of time I don't know.Undecided 


I took advantage of the hospitalization for errands I can't run when Mom is home, but I really didn't take any "me" time.  I cleaned, did laundry, visited Mom and ran errands.  I just didn't think it right to take time for myself while Mom is in the hospital. 


Just venting and keeping you up to date.  Michele


 

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