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6 years ago  ::  Jan 15, 2009 - 8:57PM #1
Xena4Christ
Posts: 249
Quck note-- I've been living one day at time.  It's work work work work work.  The economy is soooooooo bad, everyone is feeling the effects.  Our friend who works in marble, refitting bathrooms, was just layed off.  My husband wasn't layed off, but he MUST voluntarily forfeit one week a month with no pay.   Oh, I haven't lost my job though.. I clean houses.  I clean houses for rich people.  They're doing fine, so in turn, I'm doing fine. 

Now to the thread.    I notice many people boasting that they've whipped their bad habits.    I say kudos to you all.  Cheers.  Really, I mean that.   You use to  do  (habit that you had) for X amount of years, and now you've been perfect for X amount of years.   How wonderful.   

That was an incredible amount of time and effort that you devoted to your habit all those years.   When it 'disappeared', what did you fill the hole with?  Because, indeed, there is a humongous hole that needs to be filled when you pull that habit out by it's roots.   I'm just curious.  What did you fill it with?
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6 years ago  ::  Jan 15, 2009 - 9:57PM #2
Xena4Christ
Posts: 249
Do yourself a favour and read "practicing the power of now" by eckhart tolle



I might just take you up on that.  Thanks for the input.
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6 years ago  ::  Jan 16, 2009 - 1:33AM #3
mountain_man
Posts: 40,209
[QUOTE=Xena4Christ;1021959]Quck note-- I've been living one day at time. 


Then stop doing that. Live for the future. Look to tomorrow and plan. If you have only today, then there is no future.

It's work work work work work. ...[/QUOTE]
Stop doing that too... well... not entirely. Make time for yourself. You know that old saying; go take a hike or go fly a kite. Well.... DO IT. Get out there and do something. I would bet that whatever you like to do there is a club you can join to do it with. Get out there and be with other people.

Got a church? They usually have some kind of activity going on.

The local library usually keeps a list of groups in the area.

Force yourself to get out there and soon that will become who you are; a person that goes out and does things.

Oh... you can see I'm not an AA person.  :D

Dave - Just a Man in the Mountains.

I am a Humanist. I believe in a rational philosophy of life, informed by science, inspired by art, and motivated by a desire to do good for its own sake and not by an expectation of a reward or fear of punishment in an afterlife.
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6 years ago  ::  Jan 16, 2009 - 7:46PM #4
Xena4Christ
Posts: 249
Ok, here's the deal.   You know the economy is whack.   My husband must now take a mandatory one week each month off without pay.  (he gets to draw his pennies for it, however).   I clean houses so my job is by quantity as well as quality.   If I take a day off sick, I don't get paid for it....  like that.    I have three girls and a spouse, and they are the most important things in the world to me.   I live, virtually, for my family.  I actually like that idea.   Without them, buddy, believe me, I would find a way out of here and quick.    So, going back to your post,  you see, I MUST work all the time.  And there is burn-out.  If I see a vacuum cleaner one more time...  guess what.  I have to.   Anyway, this is not a pity-fest.  I'm just saying that I have to work my ass off and I do it for my family because it's necessary.   We're middle-class.  I refuse to become 'poverty'.  It gets stressful.  When I come home I like to get a drink.  As Agnostic  so kindly pointed out one day  (I'm being sarcastic, but it's hatred at myself),  it's never one drink.  It's more than one.  It's many.  But, I do stop  and go to bed at an appropriate time.   I do believe getting 8 to 9 hours of sleep a night is essential to health.  I try to eat right, drink lots of water, exercise...blah blah blah, you know the drill.   I know that 'binge' drinking is wrong, but it feels so good at the time.  Um...  I'm a work in progress.  I have a gut feeling that I will surpass this as well because fate or angels are on my side and I'm always asking them to help me.  I'll kick it, I will.    If you do not see me post as much, you'll know I'm doing well in my endeavors. 


A special blessing on you and yours.  Everyone who reads this post will be blessed tremendously.   :)
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6 years ago  ::  Jan 17, 2009 - 5:03PM #5
ODIECOM
Posts: 326
what did i fill my hole with ?
life, reality. being able to deal with issues or problems without getting trashed all the time.  the comforting thought of not having to worry about drinking and driving. filled with the good feeling of not waking up with a hangover or still being drunk and having to make excuses of why i cant go to work.

actually being able to enjoy things in this world through sober eyes and not half trashed to make me think things are better WHEN THERE NOT.
life doesnt change when we drink. we change.
i hike, swim and enjoy the mountains, and now that im not getting friends or family mad at me ... cause im drunk .. i can actually enjoy that as well.

if you drink to enjoy life or make things better, your only fooling yourself.   many of us started out with exactly those same ideals about why we drank.   in time many of us found that all we were doing was hiding  behind our booze.  there are those that will never release themselves from that state.
if your comfortable with that kind of life .... im sure the stores wont run out of booze.
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6 years ago  ::  Jan 17, 2009 - 5:23PM #6
Free2beme09
Posts: 733
Xena~

I understand about working working working to stay on top with three kids.  :) We are finally feeling a huge crunch with my husbands company laying off again for the third round, they are getting awfully thin.  Its just too close for comfort, my meditations are not working today.  Honestly I am scared to death.  If one more person tells me every thing happens for a reason I will just scream.  The scariest part is my husband doesn't have his next assignment and the job he is at finishes up Tuesday.  & sales are slow around here for me.  ;)

I think you know my mother was the one with the addiction, but I was very co dependent and obsessed with dysfunction is my young adult years.  Its all I knew, normal felt boring so I always had to shake my life up.  :) I can not tell you what one may fill the whole up to replace substance.  I can tell you that when I finally decided to take back my life, I did experience what I figured was a lot like the whole your describing.  Life was dull and boring, and my mind wouldn't shut up. 

The only thing I knew how to do was just keep busy,  I worked two jobs at that time so I had a lot on my plate.  When I developed time I just would try to have as much spiritual cleansing time as possible with the kids, friends, and supporters.  I would just go with someone to do anything to fill up the void screaming to be filled up with something.  Of course my way to fill it up was to shake up my life and run...and boy I never wanted that again.  I hope my babble helped some.  :
Religion is for those afraid of hell.  Spirituality is had by those who have been there!
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6 years ago  ::  Jan 17, 2009 - 6:01PM #7
Kapha44
Posts: 410

free2beme09 wrote:

Xena~

I understand about working working working to stay on top with three kids.  :) We are finally feeling a huge crunch with my husbands company laying off again for the third round, they are getting awfully thin.  Its just too close for comfort, my meditations are not working today.  Honestly I am scared to death.  If one more person tells me every thing happens for a reason I will just scream.  The scariest part is my husband doesn't have his next assignment and the job he is at finishes up Tuesday.  & sales are slow around here for me.  ;)

I think you know my mother was the one with the addiction, but I was very co dependent and obsessed with dysfunction is my young adult years.  Its all I knew, normal felt boring so I always had to shake my life up.  :) I can not tell you what one may fill the whole up to replace substance.  I can tell you that when I finally decided to take back my life, I did experience what I figured was a lot like the whole your describing.  Life was dull and boring, and my mind wouldn't shut up. 

The only thing I knew how to do was just keep busy,  I worked two jobs at that time so I had a lot on my plate.  When I developed time I just would try to have as much spiritual cleansing time as possible with the kids, friends, and supporters.  I would just go with someone to do anything to fill up the void screaming to be filled up with something.  Of course my way to fill it up was to shake up my life and run...and boy I never wanted that again.  I hope my babble helped some.  :



I can relate to the being scared. My place closed 2 years ago. I had to get a job fast. Three months later I was employed but doing something I had not done in 20 years.
To make matters worse I have to support 2 families since my step son lost his job. The daughter in law does not make enough to cover the bills.

It is difficult to shut that hic cup off in the brain but I believe in my recovery and I don't think God brought me this far to drop me on my head.

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6 years ago  ::  Jan 17, 2009 - 6:12PM #8
Free2beme09
Posts: 733
[QUOTE=Kapha44;1025638]I can relate to the being scared. My place closed 2 years ago. I had to get a job fast. Three months later I was employed but doing something I had not done in 20 years.
To make matters worse I have to support 2 families since my step son lost his job. The daughter in law does not make enough to cover the bills.

It is difficult to shut that hic cup off in the brain but I believe in my recovery and I don't think God brought me this far to drop me on my head.[/QUOTE]

I know my husband being laid off for a few weeks or a few months probably isn't the end of the world.  As long as I am breathing life isn't over. 

I have my father in law in my den converted to a room, a 3rd shift sleeper so he covers my french doors with black something or another, and i cant even see the view outside.  One of the top reasons I love my house.  He isn't helping right now, but tonight I plan on going home to lay down the law. 

We do have 1412 sq feet of concreted in basement space we can throw down some cots and section it off so we can send his dad down stairs and help others by renting the other cots out, in essence helping ourselves a bit.  I am just hoping that Tuesday comes and my husband gets his assignment and we feel like idiots.  :)
Religion is for those afraid of hell.  Spirituality is had by those who have been there!
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6 years ago  ::  Jan 17, 2009 - 6:19PM #9
Kapha44
Posts: 410

free2beme09 wrote:

I know my husband being laid off for a few weeks or a few months probably isn't the end of the world.  As long as I am breathing life isn't over. 

I have my father in law in my den converted to a room, a 3rd shift sleeper so he covers my french doors with black something or another, and i cant even see the view outside.  One of the top reasons I love my house.  He isn't helping right now, but tonight I plan on going home to lay down the law. 

We do have 1412 sq feet of concreted in basement space we can throw down some cots and section it off so we can send his dad down stairs and help others by renting the other cots out, in essence helping ourselves a bit.  I am just hoping that Tuesday comes and my husband gets his assignment and we feel like idiots.  :)



These are difficult economic times. The worse since as far as I can remember. Be prepared for the worst, hope for the best as they say. You know you'll make it no matter what. We are survivors.

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6 years ago  ::  Jan 17, 2009 - 7:33PM #10
Free2beme09
Posts: 733
[QUOTE=Kapha44;1025662]These are difficult economic times. The worse since as far as I can remember. Be prepared for the worst, hope for the best as they say. You know you'll make it no matter what. We are survivors.[/QUOTE]

Your right!  I have weathered worse storms that is for sure.  Today Buddha just cant make it better.  I cant fight off the need to just get upset or cry even.  I just got off the phone with my husband who is not the best communicator as it is, but when it comes to his father he will avoid at all costs having to ask him to step up and start paying some of his way.  Especially right now that could bring some peace! 

I feel bad now bc he asked me what he was supposed to do.  I told him to stop being a coward and tell his father what he needed to hear.  As a survivor things just seem simple to me, you give to those who help you period. You never take advantage of a helping hand and under no circumstances to you ever take some one who is willing to help for granted.  :)  I feel better now, thanks...I guess we should get back on the subject huh?
Religion is for those afraid of hell.  Spirituality is had by those who have been there!
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