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Switch to Forum Live View drinking makes me ugly, but feel happy
6 years ago  ::  Jan 11, 2009 - 7:38PM #31
Xena4Christ
Posts: 249
I know that!   And we have something in common.  I lost my dad when I was 19 years old.  1985.  It was so totally unexpected too.  I'll never forget. I was lying in bed and the phone rang at 2 am.  I was sleeping on orange sheets.   I heard my mom groggily answer the phone and say, "Oh, God, oh, God, oh God", and  I must be brilliant or psychic because I just knew what it meant.  My dad died of a heart attack whilst driving a motor home.    You talk about going numb.  I never ever slept on those orange sheets again.

My sister commited suicide 8 days after my dad died. I hated her for doing that. I couldn't believe she would do that to my mom. One night I had a dream, and I was actually seeing life through her eyes. No details here, I don't blame her at all. But still, she left behind a 6 year old daughter. Missy is about 30 years old now. (born 1979, you do the math), and she is my favorite niece. She's one tough cookie. She repaired this computer when it was virus riddled!
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6 years ago  ::  Jan 11, 2009 - 7:45PM #32
Xena4Christ
Posts: 249
My sister commited suicide 8 days after my dad died.  I hated  her for doing that.  I couldn't believe she would do that to my mom.    One night I had a dream, and I was actually seeing life through her eyes.   No details here,  I don't blame her at all.   But still, she left behind a 6 year old daughter.   Missy is about 30 years old now.   (born 1979, you do the math), and she is my favorite niece.   She's one tough cookie.   She repaired this computer when it was virus riddled!
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6 years ago  ::  Jan 11, 2009 - 8:50PM #33
Kapha44
Posts: 402

agnosticspirit wrote:

Howdy Xena, I wanted to highlight a portion of your post that I bolded. Alcholics don't necessarily drink every day. Drug addicts don't necessarily consume their drug of choice 24/7. There are also BINGE alcoholics that may only drink on weekends. They manage to convince themselves they're not really alcoholics because they don't do it every day. The difference between a binge drunk and a social drinker is that the bingers can't just take one drink or two. They usually continue to drink until they pass out.

Ask yourself this. You do NOT need to answer this on this forum --- are you able to stop of  your own free will after only a couple drinks, or do you continue until you get drunk or pass out?

Social drinkers can have one glass of wine and stop. Social drinkers don't generally drink alone, nor do they feel "entitled" to drink just because it's their birthday, or just because it's Saturday night, or just because they had a hard day or just because they had a good day.  Social drinkers can take it or leave it. If a person who considers themselves a social drinker can't take it or leave it, can't stop after 1 drink, they're no longer social drinkers but problem drinkers, even if it's only once a week or once a month.



I was a periodic. I put enough periods together to ruin my life. And your absolutely right AS. No one has to go to rock bottom anymore unless they  want to. There is enough information around today to help people make a determination as to wether they have a drinking problem or not.
Personally I did not hit a bottom. The bottom hit me. Thank God. My brother and my best friend hit bottom for good. RIP

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6 years ago  ::  Jan 23, 2009 - 9:05PM #34
Xena4Christ
Posts: 249
Speaking of ugly,  drinking gives me lower abdominal fat  (or is that stress?) and baggy purple bags under my eyes  (or is that stress?)  I look like Garfield!  If that's not incentive, I don't know what is!  *L*
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6 years ago  ::  Jan 24, 2009 - 11:45AM #35
ODIECOM
Posts: 326
" an alcoholic is someone that drinks morning, noon and nite. "  very incorrect.
im at work and will post later tonite. have a good day all.
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6 years ago  ::  Jan 24, 2009 - 7:12PM #36
ODIECOM
Posts: 326
ok, im back.
to lable an alcoholic someone that drinks morning noon and nite, until it comes out of their nose .. is very incorrect.
i for one would not lable myself as an alkie when i was first asked the question. I DIDNT DRINK LIKE OTHER PPL. i found out that .. my statement and feeling about it .. DIDNT MATTER.

read this and see what you think. :

All kinds of people are alcoholics...Only about 3 to 5 precent of alcoholics are 'bums'or skid-row types. The rest have families,friends and jobs,and are functioning fairly well. But their drinking affects some part of their lives. Their family life or their job may suffer.It might be all three. An alcoholic is someone whose drinking causes a continuing and growing problem in any department of his/her life.

Alcoholics drink because they think they have to. They use alcohol as a crutch and an escape,They are in emotional pain.Eventually they depend on alcohol so much that they become convinced they can't live without it.

This is OBSESSION" 

'When some alcoholics try to do without alcohol, the withdrawal symptoms are so overwhelming that they go back to drinking because drinking seems to be the only way to get rid of the agony.

THIS IS ADDICTION:   

"Most alcoholics would like to be social drinkers. They spend a lot of effort trying to control their drinking so they will be able to drink like other people. They may try drinking on weekends or drinking only a certain drink. But they can never be sure of being able to stop drinking when they want to. The end up getting drunk even when they had promised themselves they wouldn't.

THIS IS COMPULSION 

It is the nature of this diease that the patients do not believe they are ill. This is DENIAL. Hope for recovery lies in their ability to recognize a need for help their desire to stop drinking,and their willingness to admit that they cannot cope with the problem by themselves.

UNDERSTANDING OURSELVES:

Alcoholism is a family disease.Compulsive drinking affects the drinker and it affects the drinkers relationships, employment, childhood, parenthood, love affairs, marriages, all suffer from the effects of alcoholism. Those special relationships in which a person is really close toan alcoholic are affected nost,and the people who care are the most caught up in the behavior of another person. They react to an alcoholic's behavior. They see that the drinking is out of hand and they try to control it.They are ashamed of the public scences but in private they try to handle it. It isn't long before they feel they are to blame and take on the hurts,the fears, the guilt of an alcoholic.

"These well-meaning people begin to count the number of drinks another person is having. They pour expensive liquor down drains, search the house for hidden bottles, listen for the sound of opening cans. All their thinking is directed at what the alcoholic is doing or not doing and how to get the drinker to stop drinking.

THIS IS THEIR OBSESSION. 

Watching other human beings slowly kill themselves with alcohol is painful. While alcoholics don't seem to worry about the bills, the job, the children, the condition of their health, the people around them begin to worry. They make the mistake of covering up. They fix everything, make excuses, tell little lies to mend damaged relationships,and they worry some more.

THIS IS THEIR ANXIETY.

'Sooner or later the alcoholic's behavior makes other people angry. They realize that the alcoholic is not taking care of responsibilities,is telling lies,using them. They have begun to feel that the alcoholic doesn't love them and they want to strike back,punish,make the alcoholic pay for the hurt and frustration caused by uncontrolled drinking;

THIS IS THEIR ANGER:

Those who are close to the alcoholic begin to pretend. They accept promises,they want to believe the problem has gone away each time there is a sober period. When every good sense tells them there is something wrong with the alcoholic's drinking and thinking,they still hide how they feel and what they know.

THIS IS THEIR DENIAL:

'Perhaps the most severe damage to those who have shared some part of life with an alcoholic comes in the form of the nagging belief that they are somehow at fault;they were not up to it all, not attractive enough,not clever enough to have solved this problem for the one they love. They think it was something they did or did not do.

THESE ARE THEIR FEELINGS OF GUILT;

             'WE,WHO HAVE TURNED TO AL-ANON, HAVE OFTEN DONE SO IN DESPAIR,UNABLE TO BELIEVE IN THE POSSIBILITY OF CHANGE,UNABLE TO GO ON AS WE HAVE BEFORE. WE FEEL CHEATED OUT OF A LOVING COMPANION, OVER BURDENED WITH RESPONSIBILITIES,UNWANTED,UNLOVED AND ALONE.THERE ARE EVEN THOSE OF US WHO ARE ARROGANT,SMUG,SELF-RIGHTEOUS AND DOMINATING;BUT WE COME BECAUSE WE WANT,WE NEED----HELP;'
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6 years ago  ::  Jan 24, 2009 - 7:24PM #37
Kapha44
Posts: 402

ODIECOM wrote:

ok, im back.
to lable an alcoholic someone that drinks morning noon and nite, until it comes out of their nose .. is very incorrect.
i for one would not lable myself as an alkie when i was first asked the question. I DIDNT DRINK LIKE OTHER PPL. i found out that .. my statement and feeling about it .. DIDNT MATTER.

read this and see what you think. :

All kinds of people are alcoholics...Only about 3 to 5 precent of alcoholics are 'bums'or skid-row types. The rest have families,friends and jobs,and are functioning fairly well. But their drinking affects some part of their lives. Their family life or their job may suffer.It might be all three. An alcoholic is someone whose drinking causes a continuing and growing problem in any department of his/her life.

Alcoholics drink because they think they have to. They use alcohol as a crutch and an escape,They are in emotional pain.Eventually they depend on alcohol so much that they become convinced they can't live without it.

This is OBSESSION" 

'When some alcoholics try to do without alcohol, the withdrawal symptoms are so overwhelming that they go back to drinking because drinking seems to be the only way to get rid of the agony.

THIS IS ADDICTION:   

"Most alcoholics would like to be social drinkers. They spend a lot of effort trying to control their drinking so they will be able to drink like other people. They may try drinking on weekends or drinking only a certain drink. But they can never be sure of being able to stop drinking when they want to. The end up getting drunk even when they had promised themselves they wouldn't.

THIS IS COMPULSION 

It is the nature of this diease that the patients do not believe they are ill. This is DENIAL. Hope for recovery lies in their ability to recognize a need for help their desire to stop drinking,and their willingness to admit that they cannot cope with the problem by themselves.

UNDERSTANDING OURSELVES:

Alcoholism is a family disease.Compulsive drinking affects the drinker and it affects the drinkers relationships, employment, childhood, parenthood, love affairs, marriages, all suffer from the effects of alcoholism. Those special relationships in which a person is really close toan alcoholic are affected nost,and the people who care are the most caught up in the behavior of another person. They react to an alcoholic's behavior. They see that the drinking is out of hand and they try to control it.They are ashamed of the public scences but in private they try to handle it. It isn't long before they feel they are to blame and take on the hurts,the fears, the guilt of an alcoholic.

"These well-meaning people begin to count the number of drinks another person is having. They pour expensive liquor down drains, search the house for hidden bottles, listen for the sound of opening cans. All their thinking is directed at what the alcoholic is doing or not doing and how to get the drinker to stop drinking.

THIS IS THEIR OBSESSION. 

Watching other human beings slowly kill themselves with alcohol is painful. While alcoholics don't seem to worry about the bills, the job, the children, the condition of their health, the people around them begin to worry. They make the mistake of covering up. They fix everything, make excuses, tell little lies to mend damaged relationships,and they worry some more.

THIS IS THEIR ANXIETY.

'Sooner or later the alcoholic's behavior makes other people angry. They realize that the alcoholic is not taking care of responsibilities,is telling lies,using them. They have begun to feel that the alcoholic doesn't love them and they want to strike back,punish,make the alcoholic pay for the hurt and frustration caused by uncontrolled drinking;

THIS IS THEIR ANGER:

Those who are close to the alcoholic begin to pretend. They accept promises,they want to believe the problem has gone away each time there is a sober period. When every good sense tells them there is something wrong with the alcoholic's drinking and thinking,they still hide how they feel and what they know.

THIS IS THEIR DENIAL:

'Perhaps the most severe damage to those who have shared some part of life with an alcoholic comes in the form of the nagging belief that they are somehow at fault;they were not up to it all, not attractive enough,not clever enough to have solved this problem for the one they love. They think it was something they did or did not do.

THESE ARE THEIR FEELINGS OF GUILT;

             'WE,WHO HAVE TURNED TO AL-ANON, HAVE OFTEN DONE SO IN DESPAIR,UNABLE TO BELIEVE IN THE POSSIBILITY OF CHANGE,UNABLE TO GO ON AS WE HAVE BEFORE. WE FEEL CHEATED OUT OF A LOVING COMPANION, OVER BURDENED WITH RESPONSIBILITIES,UNWANTED,UNLOVED AND ALONE.THERE ARE EVEN THOSE OF US WHO ARE ARROGANT,SMUG,SELF-RIGHTEOUS AND DOMINATING;BUT WE COME BECAUSE WE WANT,WE NEED----HELP;'



Great post. I'm going to copy and save it. Thanks for doing all the hard word. Leaves no wiggle room.

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6 years ago  ::  Jan 25, 2009 - 1:57PM #38
Xena4Christ
Posts: 249
Yes, thank you Odie for taking the time to post that.  I believe you've hit the nail on the head. 

People feel selfish as hell when they know their family is concerned,  ever worried when the next shoe will drop.   It's probably the abhorance of 'selfishness' itself that  helps a lot of people quit.   (I love Christ's words).  I wouldn't hurt my family for anything in the world. 

Thanks again.
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6 years ago  ::  Jan 25, 2009 - 1:57PM #39
Xena4Christ
Posts: 249
Yes, thank you Odie for taking the time to post that.  I believe you've hit the nail on the head. 

People feel selfish as hell when they know their family is concerned,  ever worried when the next shoe will drop.   It's probably the abhorance of 'selfishness' itself that  helps a lot of people quit.   (I love Christ's words).  I wouldn't hurt my family for anything in the world. 

Thanks again.
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6 years ago  ::  Jan 27, 2009 - 6:43AM #40
ODIECOM
Posts: 326
SUPRISINGLY ENOUGH,  family matters, jobs dont really matter to the alkie.  alot of them  fight  the idea of quitting. theres always an excuse, always a reason. to validate their drinking. BEEN THERE. i knew in my mind that i had a problem. but i sure wasnt going to place myself in that catagory.

   we find its easier to keep drinking then face up to the problem.  there ae many kind of drinkers, weekend warriors, bing drinking and just plain gotta have it everyday. it used to take me a 12pk and a oint of vodka just to clean the house.  i drank a six pack of tall Buds and a pint of Jim Beam everynite for almost a year.

  its what i got used to doing, it was my routine. then on my days off ... it was just stay drunk.  do you have to be an alkie to have a problem with booze ?  NO.

our drinking habits .. have at some point been brought to our attention.   OR WE WOULDNT BE concerned about it, nor would be be justifying the way we drink., or making excuses for it.
only we can decide whether or not we have a drinking problem, then we have to admit it.

we may ask, what is the problem ?   the only one that can answer that is the one doing the drinking.
when you HAVE to use drugs or booze to make life happier or more intresting .. theres a problem
i believe ... from experiance that many "drinkiers"  believe they do have a problem, they just arnt willing to admit it to anyone including themselves.

   i have talked to alot of ppl that ask questions about alcoholism, listen to the reality of it, they then take that info and try to find things that fit their pattern. when they do, they most generally find excuses or drum up valadations for THEMSELVES.   they know what they heard or read has it a home run and most alkies WONT ADMIT IT.
  its a game to alkies ....  we as humans are not that willing to admit or accept when we have a problem.
  you dont have to be like every other drinker to have a problem.

odies words
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