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10 years ago  ::  Sep 17, 2008 - 1:29PM #41
karbie
Posts: 3,329
Dear Linda,
  I'm so sorry you are dealing with the inventory--that sort of thing is so painful. The prices they put on things is ridiculous, too. It was to be there through some of that process I stayed away from May until August. We all pitched in where we could--I wrote all the thank you notes, my sister had written Grandma's obituary. It still felt ghoulish going I want this and this. Her clothes will mainly go to a charity named for a clergy member who had been a dear friend of my grandparents. It helps give women clothes to go on job interviews and actually go to work in .After all the generations who have worked at things for the church, we think it would have pleased her.
The reason the house is only 2 bedroom is partly due to the storage in the master bedroom. Besides the two walk -in closets, the entire wall between them has storage shelves and drawers that go back just as far as the closets do, and the shelves in those closets go up to the ceiling. Years ago we moved into a double that had three bedrooms upstairs, but came completely unfurnished. When my grandma offered us curtains, we jumped at the chance. She gave us enough curtains to take care of every window with one set left over, and she was happy because it almost emptied one of the drawers.
  You'll be in my prayers because I know just how hard a time you must be going through, plus the burden of all the legal paperwork. You have my deepest sympathy both on your loss and the aftermath of trying to figure out what to do with some things.
  I don't know if this will help--the system my uncle decided would be fairest on anything that more than one person wanted, the oldest person got it. Since everything is to be divided anyway, it will be fairly simple this way.
  I knew that once people started taking things out, it wouldn't feel like "her" house any more. I spent 3 nights and days there so I could just spend some time with my memories and grief and give my mother some space as well. It gave me some peace and some closure and it helped me more than I thought it would. I don't know if it's something you or anyone in your family could/would want to do or be able to do. I'm grateful that the first time I went in that house she was still alive and it still smelled like her home.
  I hope nothing I said makes you hurt any more than before or upsets you. I just thought that since it really helped me, it might help you, too.
"You are letting your opinion be colored by facts again."
'When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you."
these are both from my father.
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10 years ago  ::  Sep 17, 2008 - 6:37PM #42
nightwitch
Posts: 728
Karbie.. thanks for you kind words and not you did not say anything that would upset me. and I wish was that easy. my sister is challenging my mother will and her putting my name on the deed to the house I have lived in since I was 2 yao (50years), mother had listed things to go to my sister, had put tag on things she want to go to me, she had a added a codical which I did not know about leaving anything not listed to me.. she kept telling me to not let my sister come in and take everything.. I even wrote my sister a letter telling her that anything she wanted unless mother has said it went to certain person she chould have it.. the only thing I carried about was my home.. I was the extutor until she demanded a new one .. which cost money... and in the end I will be the one paying out all the cost if I get to keep my home.. :mad:
but I do thank you for suggesting that .. it would be a good idea if I had a "normal" sister.. 
Lap... tell the truth you thought  I would have brown eyes because I was so full of "it"... lol....
  Keegon... hmm you are suppose to take easy remember... and yes I will bug you to keep you motivated to stop smoking... i know that as a non smoker it is hard to understand but I love you too much to want to see you end up like my father and my mother.. who did not smoke but my father did... why dont you come down here and help me get rid of things ???
Karl... yes I told you you would be missed... we need the male side to keep us balanced.. I know you needed the break but glad you are back..
  I am feeling strangly down... I did get out and do some of the weedeating.. cutting in not eating it.. my chief called a mandatoriy meeting for tomorrow.. my day off at 1:30 pm ... right when I have things i need to do.. i do not want to get in middle of something and have to stop to go to this meeting.I just do not want to have to be around peopel...  I was going to wear by shirt with the conferate flag that say if this offeneds you then you need a history lesson.. decided that was not a good idea. I am trying to
stay under the radar.. when I get like this it is just I hate everyone like the county song... well not everyone not you guys.. but then with you guys I can just log off... lol...
well to anyone I missed ... lake care .. be safe and hold tight to the hope of a better day tomorrow.. or at least one that is not much worse then this one...
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10 years ago  ::  Sep 17, 2008 - 6:37PM #43
nightwitch
Posts: 728
Karbie.. thanks for you kind words and not you did not say anything that would upset me. and I wish was that easy. my sister is challenging my mother will and her putting my name on the deed to the house I have lived in since I was 2 yao (50years), mother had listed things to go to my sister, had put tag on things she want to go to me, she had a added a codical which I did not know about leaving anything not listed to me.. she kept telling me to not let my sister come in and take everything.. I even wrote my sister a letter telling her that anything she wanted unless mother has said it went to certain person she chould have it.. the only thing I carried about was my home.. I was the extutor until she demanded a new one .. which cost money... and in the end I will be the one paying out all the cost if I get to keep my home.. :mad:
but I do thank you for suggesting that .. it would be a good idea if I had a "normal" sister.. 
Lap... tell the truth you thought  I would have brown eyes because I was so full of "it"... lol....
  Keegon... hmm you are suppose to take easy remember... and yes I will bug you to keep you motivated to stop smoking... i know that as a non smoker it is hard to understand but I love you too much to want to see you end up like my father and my mother.. who did not smoke but my father did... why dont you come down here and help me get rid of things ???
Karl... yes I told you you would be missed... we need the male side to keep us balanced.. I know you needed the break but glad you are back..
  I am feeling strangly down... I did get out and do some of the weedeating.. cutting in not eating it.. my chief called a mandatoriy meeting for tomorrow.. my day off at 1:30 pm ... right when I have things i need to do.. i do not want to get in middle of something and have to stop to go to this meeting.I just do not want to have to be around peopel...  I was going to wear by shirt with the conferate flag that say if this offeneds you then you need a history lesson.. decided that was not a good idea. I am trying to
stay under the radar.. when I get like this it is just I hate everyone like the county song... well not everyone not you guys.. but then with you guys I can just log off... lol...
well to anyone I missed ... lake care .. be safe and hold tight to the hope of a better day tomorrow.. or at least one that is not much worse then this one...
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10 years ago  ::  Sep 17, 2008 - 11:51PM #44
marmalade.sunrise
Posts: 7
Today I am overwhelmed. I feel like I must handle too much alone, but what I have to handle really isn't that much. I can't find homes for these kittens but I can't afford to keep them either. I just got hired at a new job, but I'm running out of money. My rent is paid up for six months, I'm just worried about day to day expenses. I feel like I shouldn't have to worry about this stuff on top of being in college and working with bipolar disorder. I feel crazy because I'm morbidly obsessed with the crash on wall street - I'm afraid -terrified. My dirty dishes are piling up. But I'm safe, I'm fed, I've got a comfortable bed and a roof over my head. I have my classes, I have my church. I have a few friends. And yes, I have all of these cats (lol) that I can't afford...
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10 years ago  ::  Sep 18, 2008 - 9:48AM #45
lapatosu
Posts: 3,065
Welcome to the group, Marmalade Sunrise.  I love that name, by the way. :-)   I live in Oklahoma, which also tends to blend Evangelical Christianity and the Republican party, so I can sympathize with your concerns. I've been having troubles not obssessing about the financial crisis and the election, as well. Learning to just turn off the computer, TV, put down the papers, and go outside helps tremendously -that, and posting here, where I am reminded that all of us, Christians and non, Republicans, Democrats and Independents are just humans, doing the best we can.

Joycie - Did you catch any fish yesterday?

Karl - Did you finish up the Egypt project?  What new things are happening in your life?

Linda -  I hear the fear of loosing even more of your old life coming back.  After a couple of months getting to know you, the more angry you are, the more frightened you are.  Your sister is not going to get everything, you will have yourself, your nephew, a home (though it might be a different setting, it will still be a home for yourself). You also have a job, though at times you don't like it, other times, you seem to find it interesting, in a weird way.  At least it keeps you thinking.
I was wondering, did your mother leave a huge debt, after she passed?

Karbie - So happy that you are finding such joy in your future daughter-in-law.  So, what color of dress will the groom's mother be wearing?

Today is promising to be slow and relaxed.  Sunny and cool.  I'm going to spend the morning putting away laundry and working in the yard.  I have an appointment with the psychiatrist this afternoon.  I'm going to be asking about cheaper alternatives to the AmbienCR. At $100 a month, it is a little bit on the pricey side. the Ambien alone is generic now, but I end up sleep walking, which has led to dangerous situations in the past (coming to, driving at night, with no clue as to where I was).  I'm also going to start editing a movie about Fall and Oklahoma.
Lynne
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10 years ago  ::  Sep 18, 2008 - 4:25PM #46
jeffreyl50
Posts: 8
Hi Jeff here,thanks for not forgetting me.Things are going well. I have 5 or 6 more days of group and then I should be going back to work oct. first.Even though I dont like my job all that much,it`s the only job I have right now, so I`ve got to get back to it,right? Thanks again for being here,Jeff
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10 years ago  ::  Sep 18, 2008 - 5:55PM #47
joycon
Posts: 2,788
Hi y'all.

Lap, we moved about 20 channel cat from that private pond to our pond. All survived. I only caught 1, but...

We took a friend to her counseling appointment today, 45 miles one way. Poor hubby drove because I can't drive in metro traffic. He is sick, caught the daughter's bronchitis crud.

Karl, it sounds like you're a good Dad. YOur job also sounds fascinating.

Linda, how're you doing today?

Hi to Karbie and Jeff.

Welcome to marmalade sunrise. Did you check out the "Beyond Blue" blog today? It is about coping with financial crisis.
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10 years ago  ::  Sep 18, 2008 - 6:26PM #48
joycon
Posts: 2,788
Anyone know what's going on with JB? Haven't seen any posts from her for a week or so....
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10 years ago  ::  Sep 18, 2008 - 6:27PM #49
keegon
Posts: 832
In my mind are many dwellings.  Each of the dwellings we create orselves - the house of anger, the house of despair, the house of self pity, the house of indifference, the house of negative, the house of positive,  the house of hope, the house of joy, the house of peace, the house of enthusiasm, the house of cooperation, the house of giving.  Each of these houses we visit each day.  We can stay in any house for as long as we wish.  We create the dwelling, we stay in the dwelling, we leave the dwelling whenever we wish.  We can create new rooms, new houses.  Whenever we enter these dwellings, this becomes our world until we leave for another.  What world will we live in today?

Creator, no one can determine which dwelling I choose to enter.  No one has the power to do so, only me.  Let me choose wisely today.

- Joy Harjo, CREEK/CHEROKEE
Elder's Meditation for September 18, 2008

I receive these daily and thought this one was appropriate for this board.
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10 years ago  ::  Sep 18, 2008 - 6:51PM #50
keegon
Posts: 832
Well, I got the hedges trimmed and did some errands.  Had to get film for my 35mm camera.
My neighbor goes to Atlantic City to gamble and has one of those Gold membership things.  This Sunday we are going up there.  I get to see the Nascar race for FREE...Cool!!  After we check in, there will be a brunch, where she told me some of the drivers will be.  I know I'll be watching the race by myself, because she'll be gambling.  Maybe I can sell her ticket.  It may be a litle lonely watching the race by myself, but well worth it.  Since I'd like to get pictures and/or meet some of the other drivers, I was wondering whether or not to wear or carry anything that has Dale Earnhardt Jr. on it..*LOL*.  I'll be taking both my cameras  just in case.

It will be a very long day and I may have to take a nap in my truck..*LOL*  We'll probably get there around 8:00-8:30 and the race doesn't start til around 1:30.  I'll do some slots, but will take a certain amount of money and that's all I'll spend.  Not a big time gambler.  If I win anything over the amount I take, it comes home with me. This weekend is supposed to be great weather wise.  I've only been to one other race at Richmond a few years ago and it was rained out.  Bummer, $80.00 down the drain.  I really, really need this *outing* and hubby will be fine for 1 day by himself.  His birthday is Saturday and I'm hoping his daughter and 2 grandsons will come to visit him.

Welcome Marmalade:  hope things improve for you.  Keep posting.  Everyone here is very supportive.

Karl:  I sent you a private email.  Hang in there and please keep posting.  And it sounds wise that you dropped the other board if it was causing you sorrows.  Sounds like you have a great son, and as far as your daughter, sometimes it just takes time for one to see the *Light*.  Keep your foot down and I'll pray that she comes over to your side.  Just remember *teens think they know everything*  LOL

Lap:  Some places, like Walmart offer most prescriptions for $4.00 a month.  Please check into it.  I've seen ads on TV for other pharmacies doing the same thing, although the cost may vary.   My Mom is checking into Walmart, and if she does transfer her Meds. she sure will save a lot of money.  You have to have the original prescription with you.  I told her to call the doctor and have him cancel the old one and write a new one.

Joycon:  that's alot of fish!!  Hope there's no cat around.  I was just thinking about JoyceB also.  Hope she is well.

Jeff:  welcome back, post whenever you can.

Linda:  hope things are going better for you.

*Waving* to Karbie.

Well, hoping everyone has a great evening....be blessed in all you do.
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