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9 years ago  ::  Aug 25, 2008 - 4:32PM #1
LadyGecko
Posts: 1
Hello and thanks for having me as a part of what i perceive to be a life saving or at least a sanity saving place to come and share and get feedback about having a parent with Alzheimer's

My name is Sandy and I am 55 years old and I suffer from chronic pain and anxiety

I only bring this up because I am unable to have my mother move in with me because I would be physically unable to care for her

I am working on(with my only sibling-my younger brother) moving Mom down here into town into an Assisted Living facility where I would be able to see her every day and she would have the care that she needs at this point

Mom has early to moderate Alzheimer's and is becoming more confused and forgetful and although the retirement community where she lives has no problem with her living there-I feel that she needs more care and the place where I want to move her is a much smaller place then where she lives now

My greatest hurdle has been to get her to agree to move and she is now leaning in that direction-at least for the moment

Neither my brother nor myself want to force her to do something that she isn't willing to do but at the same time-I don't know how much longer that she will be capable of making that decision for herself

I also want to get her into an assisted living facility before she is past the point when they will accept her as I understand that after that-it is a nursing home or private care

The place where I want her to move has specialization with Alzheimer's patients and it sounds perfect for her

I look forward to being able to spend a lot of time with my mother-something that I have not been able to do for years for one reason

She lives over 100 miles from me and I do not drive

She chose to move close to where my brother and her only two grandchildren live two years ago when she sold her condo but it makes no sense to have her up there now
Before that she was about 90 miles from me-which was still diffocult for me to get up to see her as often as i would have  liked to

It makes no sense to have her living so far from me because i am home 24/7 and can be there for her when she needs me
So-I am currently trying to get together with my brother to get over to the facility and get the paper work in process

That is not as easy as it sounds as my brother has a very intensive work schedule and he is just going to have to make time to do this and do it soon
I want to get her moved before winter sets in

I have a lot of fear anxiety and guilt going on with all of this
The guilt being that I can not physically care for her in my own home and the anxiety-well..just basically fear of the unknown

I have been looking for a place to come and find out information and to share and I hope that you all with bear with me through everything that is yet to come

thanks for listening

Sandy
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9 years ago  ::  Sep 19, 2008 - 11:20PM #2
Nomi69
Posts: 6,731
[QUOTE=LadyGecko;714142]Hello and thanks for having me as a part of what i perceive to be a life saving or at least a sanity saving place to come and share and get feedback about having a parent with Alzheimer's

My name is Sandy and I am 55 years old and I suffer from chronic pain and anxiety

I only bring this up because I am unable to have my mother move in with me because I would be physically unable to care for her

I am working on(with my only sibling-my younger brother) moving Mom down here into town into an Assisted Living facility where I would be able to see her every day and she would have the care that she needs at this point

Mom has early to moderate Alzheimer's and is becoming more confused and forgetful and although the retirement community where she lives has no problem with her living there-I feel that she needs more care and the place where I want to move her is a much smaller place then where she lives now

My greatest hurdle has been to get her to agree to move and she is now leaning in that direction-at least for the moment

Neither my brother nor myself want to force her to do something that she isn't willing to do but at the same time-I don't know how much longer that she will be capable of making that decision for herself

I also want to get her into an assisted living facility before she is past the point when they will accept her as I understand that after that-it is a nursing home or private care

The place where I want her to move has specialization with Alzheimer's patients and it sounds perfect for her

I look forward to being able to spend a lot of time with my mother-something that I have not been able to do for years for one reason

She lives over 100 miles from me and I do not drive

She chose to move close to where my brother and her only two grandchildren live two years ago when she sold her condo but it makes no sense to have her up there now
Before that she was about 90 miles from me-which was still diffocult for me to get up to see her as often as i would have  liked to

It makes no sense to have her living so far from me because i am home 24/7 and can be there for her when she needs me
So-I am currently trying to get together with my brother to get over to the facility and get the paper work in process

That is not as easy as it sounds as my brother has a very intensive work schedule and he is just going to have to make time to do this and do it soon
I want to get her moved before winter sets in

I have a lot of fear anxiety and guilt going on with all of this
The guilt being that I can not physically care for her in my own home and the anxiety-well..just basically fear of the unknown

I have been looking for a place to come and find out information and to share and I hope that you all with bear with me through everything that is yet to come

thanks for listening

Sandy[/QUOTE]

We all are just human. We can only do so much before we crash. Sometimes what is best for you, can turn out to be the best for the other person too. So follow your heart, and take care.
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you".
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9 years ago  ::  Sep 19, 2008 - 11:20PM #3
Nomi69
Posts: 6,731
[QUOTE=LadyGecko;714142]Hello and thanks for having me as a part of what i perceive to be a life saving or at least a sanity saving place to come and share and get feedback about having a parent with Alzheimer's

My name is Sandy and I am 55 years old and I suffer from chronic pain and anxiety

I only bring this up because I am unable to have my mother move in with me because I would be physically unable to care for her

I am working on(with my only sibling-my younger brother) moving Mom down here into town into an Assisted Living facility where I would be able to see her every day and she would have the care that she needs at this point

Mom has early to moderate Alzheimer's and is becoming more confused and forgetful and although the retirement community where she lives has no problem with her living there-I feel that she needs more care and the place where I want to move her is a much smaller place then where she lives now

My greatest hurdle has been to get her to agree to move and she is now leaning in that direction-at least for the moment

Neither my brother nor myself want to force her to do something that she isn't willing to do but at the same time-I don't know how much longer that she will be capable of making that decision for herself

I also want to get her into an assisted living facility before she is past the point when they will accept her as I understand that after that-it is a nursing home or private care

The place where I want her to move has specialization with Alzheimer's patients and it sounds perfect for her

I look forward to being able to spend a lot of time with my mother-something that I have not been able to do for years for one reason

She lives over 100 miles from me and I do not drive

She chose to move close to where my brother and her only two grandchildren live two years ago when she sold her condo but it makes no sense to have her up there now
Before that she was about 90 miles from me-which was still diffocult for me to get up to see her as often as i would have  liked to

It makes no sense to have her living so far from me because i am home 24/7 and can be there for her when she needs me
So-I am currently trying to get together with my brother to get over to the facility and get the paper work in process

That is not as easy as it sounds as my brother has a very intensive work schedule and he is just going to have to make time to do this and do it soon
I want to get her moved before winter sets in

I have a lot of fear anxiety and guilt going on with all of this
The guilt being that I can not physically care for her in my own home and the anxiety-well..just basically fear of the unknown

I have been looking for a place to come and find out information and to share and I hope that you all with bear with me through everything that is yet to come

thanks for listening

Sandy[/QUOTE]

We all are just human. We can only do so much before we crash. Sometimes what is best for you, can turn out to be the best for the other person too. So follow your heart, and take care.
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you".
Quick Reply
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