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7 years ago  ::  Nov 22, 2007 - 11:04PM #21
lapatosu
Posts: 2,865
It isn't anything on your part, Jupiter, I've just been having a hard time of my own depression wise.  I am clinically depressed and have to deal with SADD.  Some life stuff happening in RL has also been causing me some stress, which makes it difficult for me to interact with people.  Mainly, staying focused long enough to post.  Part of the illness.

Are you getting a four day weekend, or do you have to go back to work tomorrow?
Lynne
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7 years ago  ::  Nov 23, 2007 - 2:51PM #22
jupiterjuniper
Posts: 43
Sorry, Lap, but thanks for posting back!  So what is SADD - is it that seasonal disorder?  Sometimes I think I have that but then when
I get just as depressed in the spring and summer, I realize there really isn't a connection.  Then again there are always so many variables to everything, I don't know how I'll ever figure anything out.  I am off today but normally I don't go to work on Fridays.  I usually work at home and communicate with the office through email.  I hope you are doing better today.  I like how you keep changing your photo.  Do you take your own pictures of yourself?
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7 years ago  ::  Nov 23, 2007 - 5:50PM #23
Nay_ho_tze
Posts: 2,605
Hi[FONT=Arial] JupiterJuniper --[/FONT]

I couldn't help but wonder, as I read your post, if you pay much attention to your nutritional state. Since the main medical community doesn't pay much attention to nutrition, it's not well known how our nutritional intake significantly impacts our mental health and well-being ...

For more details, [FONT=Century Gothic]click here to get to our thread titled ”Nutritional Support.”[/FONT]

[SIZE=2]And if you click here, it’ll take you to an off-site naturopathic doctor’s site, to her page on nutrition and OCD. My SO suffers with OCD when he’s under stress and I find that paying attention to nutritional issues eases his OCD somewhat ...[/SIZE]

[FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=2]=] [/FONT][/SIZE]
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7 years ago  ::  Nov 23, 2007 - 9:30PM #24
lapatosu
Posts: 2,865
NHT - I think the increase in the vitamin B complex , in addition to the regular multi-vitamin is helping.  Thanks for suggesting it.

Jupiter - It has taken about 3 years with the same psychiatrist and therapist for the seasonal disorder, triggered by insufficient sunlight, to become a viable part of my diagnosis.  The meds made the difference between me being suicidal and being able to function.  Huge depression at this time of year has been an issue for a long time, though. There was always a reason - usually someone dying, or the anniversaries of so many deaths in my family around this time of year - then the usual stress of finances, holiday squabbles with the extended family....this year, I could have blamed it on my nephew heading over to Iraq.

But the clue was, though I always had a reason for my depression, I was always depressed, which is not usual, given that friends and family have died during other times of the year and there is always some drama going on with my extended family or friends if I let myself be caught. I can usually deal with it fine, without the funk (as noted by my therapist), except during the winter months.  I've hospitalized twice in the dark part of the year.  That and too many cloudy days in a row...

My light box is due to arrive sometime before Christmas.  I'm crossing my fingers, chanting OM and praying it gets here soon.  Meanwhile, I'm spending a lot of time outside, hiking.  Raises the endorphines, allows maximum exposure to what little light there is, and keeps me and my mood away from my husband and daughters.  Lord knows they love me, but it is difficult living with someone who is seriously depressed.  I'll still be taking the flouxatine, but hopefully will be able to quit the Ambien CR.

My favorite Poe poem has got to be his "Bells."  It starts so lovely and sweet, but by the end it has become wonderfully maniacal.  Mind you, I can't recite it by memory.  Another one of my favorite poets is e. e. cummings.  Maybe, because of his erratic punctuation?:)

Oh, and thanks on the pictures.  I usually take them myself, after finding a flat surface for the camera and putting it on shutter delay.  Some days, other people are around to take pictures for me.
Lynne
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7 years ago  ::  Nov 25, 2007 - 12:52AM #25
jupiterjuniper
Posts: 43
NHT,
Thank you for the links.  It is very interesting.  I had no idea that there was such a precise connection between diet and OCD.  I do eat bananas and plenty of flax seed oil and Omega 3s.  And I get extra
Vitamin Bs from Gatorade (I know it's not the healthiest thing but love it and I don't consume any other sugars).  On the flip side, I consume a lot of coffee and green tea, which are on the off limits list.  I don't see how I can possibly survive without my coffee!  At a few different points I had given up coffee because I feared it was unhealthy but I am back on it as there has been so much good talk about coffee recently.  I do not think my OCD was any better when I was off coffee but than again I wasn't comparing.  Something to consider.

Lap, I am so sorry to hear about your very difficult times.  You are a strong woman.  Getting outdoors is indeed a good thing.  I should do it more often.  I never tried one of those light boxes but I always wondered if they worked.  I imagine it would because light in general seems to help.  Often when I am depressed, I burn a bunch of candles to try to lift my spirits and that usually helps to some extent I think because of the light.

I like "Bells".  Well, I like anything by Poe.  I wasn't familiar with E E Cummings and so I looked him up and read some of his poetry.  It's nice.  I probably prefer a more classic style poem but I find it impressive that his work seems somewhat modern and yet he was from the very early 1900s.  A bit before his time it seems.  Quite clever.

I have shutter delay on my camera, too, but I never use it.  I suppose I should and then post a picture of myself.  But I never like the way my pictures turn out.

I hope your light box comes soon!  I'll chant with you!
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7 years ago  ::  Nov 25, 2007 - 6:19PM #26
Nay_ho_tze
Posts: 2,605
Hi JupiterJuniper:

Glad the links were helpful. And while I commend you of being mindful of your diet, might I respectfully suggest that you would probably benefit from acquiring additional B-complex outside of Gatorade ... for folks like us who are under stress, and drink caffeine, our stores of B-complex get depleted very easily on a daily basis. Personally I take at least 50 - 100 mg of B-complex daily ... and could probably use more. If you do not like to take vitamins in pill form, I know of a marvelous vitamin drink that makes getting your vitamins a pleasure rather than a nightmare...

You mentioned e.e.cummings - he's one of my favourites...nothing compares to his poems
[FONT=Arial Narrow]"next to of course god america i", [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow](which must be read on a single breath until just before the last sentence! *lol*)
[/FONT][FONT=Arial Narrow][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow]"anyone lived in a pretty how town",

and    "in just"--
[/FONT]IMHO, they are brilliant pieces of work, especially when read aloud, as all poetry should be ...

I too like Poe's "Bells, Bells, Bells" as well - and of course, "The Raven."

=]
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7 years ago  ::  Nov 26, 2007 - 11:36PM #27
jupiterjuniper
Posts: 43
Hi NHT,

Thanks for the links. 

I do take a good multi vitamin, as well.  Is it possible to take too much of any of the Bs?  What is the name of the vitamin drink? 

Lap,

Did you get your light box today?  I'm still chanting for you!
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7 years ago  ::  Nov 27, 2007 - 9:10AM #28
karbie
Posts: 3,329
Hello all,
I realize this thread has been going on--I did read it first. I'm the same about the stress of gloomy weather and the pressure of the holidays. Around February of this year I found some Phillips light bulbs that have a light blue inner coating that mimics natural sunlight--no glare, etc. The first time I put some in my son's room, we both had an immediate physical reaction---the room felt calm and peaceful. Obviously, I went back the next day and bought as many as I could afford. I found these at Big Lots, but I've been noticing that more manufacturers are joining the bandwagon.I'm glad that you found these boards. I had gotten the newsletters for years before I found this community. I have gotten so much support and love from the people here that even my doctor noticed a change in me. I'm humbled to have some of the people here as my friends and extended family.
Peace be with you.
"You are letting your opinion be colored by facts again."
'When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you."
these are both from my father.
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7 years ago  ::  Nov 27, 2007 - 2:00PM #29
jupiterjuniper
Posts: 43
Hi Karen,

Thank you very much for your post.  I agree that I would rather deal with my highs and lows than go around with a fuzzy mind.  And I'm not knocking anyone who takes meds and it helps.  That's great for them but I just don't see it that way for me.  And it hurts me and frustrates me when everyone is telling me what I "need".  And  no one will listen to me.  Who else to know better what I need than me?  These people see me once a week and they know it all.  How frustrating.  I do wish I could find a good, supportive psychologist.  I just went to my weekly session yesterday.  I have wanted to end therapy for a long time now but I keep going thinking something good will eventually come of it but it never does.  I get so sick of her saying negative things to me, about me.  How is that therapy?  I told her about my mean family insulting me during my entire Thanksgiving and all she had to say was - what was I doing wrong?  How could I have responded differently?  How could I be better to them?  I kept saying not be near them.  I can't change them.  They are negative.  Why should I subject myself to their negativity?  Instead of agreeing, she kept searching for fault with me!  Finally, I said "nothing.  There is nothing wrong with me!"  Now I know I'm not perfect.  But still.  It felt good to say.  And if only one person could agree with me for once, be on my side for once, now that would build some self confidence, right?  But no, she put her pen to the paper with record speed to jot down probably pateint is delusional and thinks nothing is wrong with her!  How pathetic.  I felt like getting up and walking out right there.  Now I could see if I came in with that attitude and truly was a bad person.  But that's not the case.  It's actually the opposite.  I went in there initially open minded wanting to improve myself but I don't see how all this patient bashing is any productive.

Sorry to vent.  I do feel your post was supportive of me and I appreciate that very, very much.  And I do hope that you and your son are doing very well these days.  Keep in touch please if you can!
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7 years ago  ::  Nov 27, 2007 - 2:28PM #30
Nay_ho_tze
Posts: 2,605
Howdy JupiterJuniper:

You write: Is it possible to take too much of any of the Bs?
Like vitamin C, B-complex is water soluble (unlike, for instance, vitamin E),
meaning excess of both vitamins is excreted through urine...
so technically it's difficult to reach toxicity ...

[FONT=Book Antiqua][SIZE=2]Keeping track of your urine's colour is one way to monitor
whether your body is getting enough of either vitamin.
vitamin C gives it a yellowish tinge, B-complex a greenish yellow tinge...
[/SIZE][/FONT](and you should be taking them together ...)

This means, if your urine is mostly clear, put simply, you're not getting enough of either.
Also, because water soluble vitamins are excreted,
they need to be replenished daily.
And remember: stress (as well as smoking, alcohol, and caffeine) efficiently depletes both vitamins...

Post #8 in our [FONT=Century Gothic][FONT=Book Antiqua]"Nutritional Support" thread provides the acceptable high end dose [/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Century Gothic][FONT=Book Antiqua]of vitamin B complex - the information comes from a book written by an MD -[/FONT][/FONT]


You also write: What is the name of the vitamin drink?
It's called "ALIVE."
Again, if you'll check the above "Nutritional Support" thread,
post #9 in FAQs,
you'll find more information and a link in the last question's answer.


=]
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