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5 years ago  ::  Aug 18, 2009 - 10:37PM #1
Hellox
Posts: 1

Hello, as mentioned in the title, I am a Catholic woman going out with a man who is a Jehovah's Witness.  Despite our religious differences, it has been a nearly bump-free ride for the past couple of years since high school-- except in terms regarding his parents.  They are extremely devoted Witnesses who have quite thoroughly expressed their thoughts of me for being a "worldly person" (even resorting to saying things such as "disgusting girl"), and I have put up  it with the knowledge that fighting fire with fire will only justify their opinions.  I don't stop him from practicing his beliefs, while at the same time not forcing my own upon him (one such thing being holidays).  Although I realize that he isn't as devoted as his parents (and other Witnesses for that matter) for the decision to continue our relationship, is this expected behavior towards non-Witnesses or is their behavior simply according to their personalities?

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5 years ago  ::  Aug 19, 2009 - 2:25PM #2
Parada4Jah
Posts: 413

Hi,


My thoughts are of what my own father told me. The scripture that says do not be unevenly yoked with someone of different faith. Maybe the parents are worried and maybe unhappy that thier son has chosen to be with someone of a different faith and in thiers and gods eyes being unevenly yoked.


I am a JW and I married a man that is not JW. We have our issues concerning faith. And my own father showed me that scripture.


My father was loving and just tried to warn me of the problems that would arise in the future. I think her saying "disgusting girl" was not the best thing but I think it may have been said out of hurt feelings and not out of love.


Hope that helps,


P4J

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5 years ago  ::  Aug 19, 2009 - 3:51PM #3
Goodtobehomestill
Posts: 6,583

You wonder if that is 'par for the course' for Witnesses or his parents' personalities?


It is neither, it is fear speaking.


They are fearful of what will happen with their son as he is putting a human person before his God.  Their fear is making them reactive.  You are smart not to react to it negatively and wise if you continue to do so.


That is always a problematic choice in life.  (Spoken by a JW married to a 'lapsed' Catholic!.. see it is a problematic choice but we keep making it over an over...)


But you would be wise to encourage him to put God first.  It would be a heroic thing for you to do, but all persons should put God first.  The differences between beliefs between Witnesses and Catholics are pretty big.  He'll suffer inside if he believes but doesn't apply.   How much I can't predict.. but when I wasn't doing what I knew to be right I was pretty miserable.


Try to determine if he has deep beliefs, even though he isn't practicing them properly, as you yourself mention.  If he does, and he goes against them, it will be unhappiness for you both.   And that is what his parents are upset about, him creating an unhappy future for himself.   Well.. they are concerned about his eternal future too, but they're parents, you really can't blame them.


I hope you can shake off the hard words, remember, if you know they don't apply, that is all that matters.

“People are not disturbed by things, but by the views they take of them.”
― Epictetus

Life is like photography, you need a clear lens, and the picture you get depends on what you focus on.


Anger stems from irrational beliefs about others, anxiety stems from irrational beliefs about yourself.---Spencer Lord, The Brain Mechanic
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5 years ago  ::  Aug 23, 2009 - 2:38PM #4
angeluv1107
Posts: 362

Aug 18, 2009 -- 10:37PM, Hellox wrote:


Hello, as mentioned in the title, I am a Catholic woman going out with a man who is a Jehovah's Witness.  Despite our religious differences, it has been a nearly bump-free ride for the past couple of years since high school-- except in terms regarding his parents.  They are extremely devoted Witnesses who have quite thoroughly expressed their thoughts of me for being a "worldly person" (even resorting to saying things such as "disgusting girl"), and I have put up  it with the knowledge that fighting fire with fire will only justify their opinions.  I don't stop him from practicing his beliefs, while at the same time not forcing my own upon him (one such thing being holidays).  Although I realize that he isn't as devoted as his parents (and other Witnesses for that matter) for the decision to continue our relationship, is this expected behavior towards non-Witnesses or is their behavior simply according to their personalities?





First of all, it is rude of them to refer to you as that disgusting girl. This is not typical behavior of a Jehovah's Witness. But even though we as Jehovah's Witnesses worship the same God and have the same beliefs when it comes to religion, we are still a very diverse group and we still have individual personalities for the members of that group. So no this is not par for the course. It seems to me as someone mentioned above that they are behaving in such a way out of fear. They are afraid of their son losing a chance at everlasting life because he is in a relationship that he knows as they do, that God does not approve of. If he choses to continue this relationship it will be at the detriment to his relationship with Jehovah God.

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5 years ago  ::  Sep 20, 2009 - 9:49AM #5
Newtonian
Posts: 12,130

Just my 2 cents!  My mother was Dutch Reformed, my father was an excommunicated Catholic - excommunicated for marrying my mom in a Dutch Reformed church (1946).  I don't think that happens much anymore in the Catholic church - does it?


My mother started studying with Jehovah's Witnesses in 1956 and was baptized in 1958.  Then my father was opposed to our faith (I was baptized in 1960).  Gradually he softened up.  When I when to Bethel in Brooklyn, N.Y. in 1978 (our headquarters) my father began attending our meetings regularly so my mom would not go alone. 


He then accepted a Bible study with one of our humble elders - and continued studying until he became deathly sick in 1979 - when I, Providentially, returned home.


When on what turned out to be his death bed some months later (in the hospital) I asked him if he wanted to become one of Jehovah's Witnesses and he said Yes!


I hope things go even better for you all!

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