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Switch to Forum Live View Trying To Step Out Of Childhood Indoctrination
9 years ago  ::  Jul 10, 2009 - 10:14PM #1
Posts: 6

Hello everyone!

I'm new to Beliefnet, and am seeking some guidance. I posted some questions on the Pagan forum, and received a suggestion to check teh Reconstructionist forum out. I have two issues I'm currently contending with.

I was raised in an extremely conservative, strict Christian church, which ultimately pushed me away from that faith when I reached adulthood. I want to move on to my own path, but am so terrified of "going to hell" even though I can't say I buy those concepts anymore. All of the Christian concepts I was taught growing up just eat away at me, and I can't seem to let go, no matter how much I want to.

I've always been drawn to various forms of Paganism, and I took the Belief-o-Matic and my results were generally, Neo-Pagan, Reconstructionist, Wiccan, etc.

I just can't pinpoint exactly what branch of those beliefs mine fit into. Growing up I had premonitions, saw fairies, communicated with what seemed to be ghosts (even at the age of 4), and could sense things in other people's lives that no one else could have possibly known. I've always held a strong reverence for Nature, and am absolutely captivated by the world of the fae. As a teen, I spoke with my pastor about these things, because I didn't understand them--a lot of it didn't line up with the Bible, and as a result had countless "excorcisms" performed on me. It was terrifying and ultimately detrimental. And please don't get me wrong--I'm not trying to disrespect Christians by any means. I still everyone's personal's just not what I feel is right for me in my own heart.

But like I said, I just don't know within what Reconstructionist or Pagan belief system I would fit into, and I feel like if I can pinpoint it, that will definitely help me to move away from my childhood and into my true self.

If anyone has any sort of insight, advice, or resources they think would help me, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you so much for taking the time to reach out.



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9 years ago  ::  Jul 28, 2009 - 1:01AM #2
Posts: 17,597


A book which might help with the Hell verses Heaven belief is Saved By the Light by Dannion Brinkley.  It's an older book about his near death experience in 1975.  Actually he was more than near dead.  He was dead for 28 minutes and came back while covered up in a sheet heading to the morgue.  He calls where we go after physical death Home. 

Dannion was a hell raiser and doomed for hell, if such a place existed, yet his experience was not one of hell.  He tells of seeing the beings of Light and what they had to say to him. 

Dannion came back to life with his mind intact and having physic abilities, but his body was a different story.  It had to learn how to do everything.  He says there is no such thing as death, because our soul/spirit lives on.  is his website

The book could be located at a good price at Amazon or since the book is so old.  Even a half price store may have a copy in stock.  Dannion has written several other book, but I believe you should start with the first one.  Also Hollywood made a movie out of his life/death experiences by the same name.  Doesn't follow the book exactly, but still a good movie.  Check out his site and see how that feels to you.  Read the Near Death Experience for sure.

Today Dannion works with the elderly population and helps them when it is their time to crossed over.

My background is Southern Baptist, but I was able to see it had a lid and I not only peeked out of the box, but jumped right out.  Today I consider myself a Progressive Christian.  Most progressives do not judge any one's belief system and believe there are many paths to Creator, God, Goddess, Great Mystery who goes by many names.

Beliefnet Community Wide Moderator ~ Peace Love Stardove

People change for two main reasons: either their minds have been opened or their hearts have been broken.

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