I appreciate that you are feeling very confused right now in your spiritual journey. I’m a bit confused as well about the particulars of your situation so if I have misinterpreted your post and/or details, please let me know.

If I do interpret correctly, you believed that you were practising the Religion of Wicca and your friend has now informed you that you are not. This has left you feeling lost and you don’t know where you belong.

Take a look  at these two threads which address what is commonly held to be the recognisable basics of this Religion. Core Discussion and Expansion on the Core. Did your practice incorporate these basics or most of these? If so, then you would be recognisable as a practitioner of this religion.

Please keep in mind that there is a great deal accessible in books and on the Internet that is mis-labelled as Wicca. There is no copyright on the word after all but the Religion of Wicca itself is defined, documented,  traceable back to its origins in the last century and has recognisable markers to help sort out what is and what isn't (meant to be) Wicca. The most unfortunate result to anyone being able to label anything he or she wishes as Wiccan is that those who sincerely but mistakenly beieve this misinformation and then pass such on with the best of intentions to others learning about Wicca. For which reason it is also possible to find a teacher and/or a coven/group that is practising something marginally or even unrecognisable as being Wicca.

Nor are all teachers and groups created equal or responsible or capable. It is always wise to learn as much on your own (before, during and even after joining any group) as you can. I would also add that not every group/coven is open to new members or even a teaching coven. Teaching is a major commitment on that part of any Wiccan  just as it is a major commitment on the part of any student accepted into such a bond. So this arrangement is not and should not be entered into lightly. While that means proper teachers are few and far between and hard to find, so too are students hard to find who will perservere and be willing to fulfill his or her commitment to learn.

On one's own, one can certainly learn the accessible basics, form a relationship with the Gods of Wicca and shaped a profound and life-transforming solitary practice. That said, it is not possible to fully experience the Religion of Wicca – as the mystery religion it was conceived and was meant to be practised – as a solitary practitioner. For initiation, for the Mysteries of Wicca, you do need to be part of a group. So seeking a teacher and/or a group does remain the right and appropriate choice if the latter is where your spiritual path leads you.

I am not sure what the significance is of seeing and hearing spirits with regard to anyone being Wiccan or not.  To the best of my knowledge, this isn’t part of or necessary to practising the Religion of Wicca although practitioners may be able to do so individually.

I hope something in all that is useful or helpful.

C.H.

[QUOTE=Rockin' on;779611]Well, Im in for my two cents..although the indomitable C.H. has about said it all..per usual,its her stylish way of letting the "less knowledable folks feel ..umm..not so..clueless??!"
Goddess bless her always on-point & usually very intuitive answers to some posts which aren't likely to 'be touched' by lesser informed (but well-wishing) practitioners..(you know its true..shes not how we used to say"Chicken" when attempting to explain or express to the difficult queries which often find their way to these boards..often asking what many/most readers shy away from even attempting to TRY & puzzle out an answer to people that truly NEED guidance.

My questions would be"how LONG were you "a practicing(??)wiccan, did you ever undertake any form of spiritually and/or deeper teachings re:Magick,traditions in wicca/witchcraft(difference there,but never mind for this post)...etc;etc;"
And if your 'teacher(s)' weren't what you thought.in which way did they fail you/your teaching/background involving the craft? Only YOU can decide IF/why you want to travel the long path which we all have to individually live and learn ...hopefully on a daily basis. Its work..not just chanting and cool crystals and incense..a far cry from what is on the bookshelves of many "new-age" shelves today...or am I being to harsh?
Whatever..why are these 'spirits' you mention the focal point of why you are seemingly so disturbed.??. Does your friend(mentioned as being spiritually more in tune than yourself) have any training/knowledge/long-time study etc; that gives her/him the right to "tell" you what you can see or feel,more than YOU know in your own heart?
I admit, your post disturbs me,also confusingly written..but it also interests me WHY you feel so bereft of the spirituality that you"thought you belonged to".
I wish you well..but if you truly want guidance,be a bit more specific..not telling all,mind you,but its o.k. to be a bit more ...focused..sorry if I'm out of line..but its a day in which my own beliefs have been confirmed..and its disturbing to read your 'lost faith' post.

Hoping you are getting some REAL help..Rockin' On[/QUOTE]

In response to Rockin on. I wanted to try and address as precisely as possible. Wasn't one for very long, maybe just a little over a year? I know one or two protection spells or rituals if thats the proper term. but thats about it. burning sage or incesence mostly to try and keep my room a calm place. I mean no disrespect and I appreciate both your honesty blunt or otherwise. All I know is from what I have learned and what friends have shared in their experiences. The spirit to me is important because I feel its guarding me. Yes, my friend has had years of training, self learned and what her mother taught her. If I may, she is a member of this site, dragonnkitten. And what she "tells" me is more of passing on knowledge instead of commanding. I trust her otherwise I would have disregarded it. This is in no way meant to be harsh.

I don't want to be lost, I want to know where I belong and am in no way rejecting I just...don't know what to do. I feel as if I'm standing at a crossroads with signs on each corner. Each sign pointing to one way or another as I've been taught many different standpoints on several religions. All I know is that I should continue to be respectful and continue to ask for help. I'm sorry this post was upsetting. maybe its best to delete it?

Take a deep breath, my dear. I’ve been through depression as well so taking just one day at a time is just what you need to do. You already have courage, just to come and ask questions took courage so don’t forget that about yourself. Your posts are intelligent and coherent and you are knowledgeable enough to know Wicca is nothing like media-hype. So all strengths you already have.

I know the feeling of wanting spiritual stability in order to help with everything else. Please remember that everything else also helps with searching spiritually. Taking care of yourself physically – getting more sleep whenever you can – being kind to yourself (today), all this helps. Everything we do, everything that you do no matter how small or seemingly insignificant may help towards resolving larger issues. Often the things we can’t imagine resolving sort themselves out over time, become something different and far less problematic. Change is the one thing that controls everything and that no one controls. Within the possibility of things getting worse is always the promise that the same things will change for the better. That can be hard to remember when the sun never seems to shine over the gray landscape of being depressed but just for today, try to remember that promise like the Sun. Sometimes you can't see if but it is always there above those clouds.

Think of your spiritual search like a wisdom walk where you and only you get to define what wisdom means and what the walk entails. Every question, whatever you think about, try, read, practice is like taking another step along that walk. THAT is what you are supposed to be doing when you are starting out in serious search.

So try focusing on the small stuff. Taking care of yourself, striving to get more sleep, being kind to yourself each day and not letting yourself get closed off from others. Acknowledging that you don’t know what to do spiritually right now is ok, we’ve all been there at one time or another. Not having a name for what we believe in doesn't mean we don't have spiritual beliefs. With each step on your wisdom walk (and sometimes it will feel like stepping backwards...it happens) the spiritual scenery around you will change. Just focus on the next step. Question, think, read, test, practice. Keep it simple. Try something like saying a short informal prayer in the morning to whomever (God, the God/Goddess…) and give thanks for anything (however small) that felt good the day before in your life. You could ask Them to watch over you for that coming day just generally or specifically. Try just that for a few weeks and don't worry about trying to do or be anything else.  If you feel that you need to add something tangible (like lighting a candle when praying if you can or holding a stone or a small object that feels good in your hand) try such and see. Just keep it simple and focus on speaking to Them.

Say in November-ish, pick one day a week to think over what you know to date about Wicca or about anything spiritual that is meaningful to you and chose one thing to incorporate for that coming week in whatever you are doing to see how it feels to you. If it doesn’t feel right, stop using it or adapt it or try something else. (Remember, one step at a time on your wisdom walk…). If you need to stop expanding your practice for any reason, then start again whenever you can.

As this year unfolds, you may also decide to mark the Sabbats coming up, like Samhain or Yule with something simple and meaningful for you.

The sometimes scary part (given wherevwer one is in life) is that the only person who can decide what you are – spiritually or otherwise – is really you. As well meaning as family and friends are, they can only speak to what they recognise as ‘X’ and you may be simply be one of those for whom ‘X’ simply looks more like “Y’.

I hope something in that is helpful, my dear. Please come back and ask questions here and let us know how you are doing. As my mother used to say (deliberately peering over her glasses at me), the only stupid questions are the ones you didn’t bother to ask.

Take Care,
C.H.

CH is a wise woman. I would say that following her advice here would be a good start. A very good start. It will help you get yourself in hand and find a way to walk your path.

If that path isn't Wicca then it isn't. There is no shame in that. NONE!!!! I have muddled my way the questions and the questioning you are speaking about. I tried to gather as much information as I could about several religions and the one that fit me best is Wicca.

I am going to give you a short list here about the core principles of Wicca. This is abbreviated and good wise people do disagree with me. Other good wise people agree with me. THAT is one of the enduring constants about Wicca. There is no patented one right way.

Some of the core principle of Wicca include:

The Wiccan Rede. That is a guideline only. It says, "An it harm none, do as you will."

That means exactly what it says. If the action you are going to take is one that a reasonable person would consider to not be harmful then we can take this action. Freely.

If it is not, and most actions can't be classed as not being harmful in some way, then the action can be taken BUT with the mindfulness that harm is going to result. THIS is where the rest of the religion comes into play.

Another core principle is the Law of Return.

That simply means you get what you put out. There is no magical formula about threes, seven, tens or hundreds. There is only the Law which says we are going to get what we put out. That means our actions have consequences and we must be mindful of them. There is no action that does not have consequence.

There is the principle of attuning ourselves to the Gods. That isn't every God just the ones we look to. Those may be the Gods of Wicca but unless we are part of oathbound traditions then we can have no way to know if our Gods are the Gods of Wicca or not.

There is the principle or ethic of personal growth. We do that through our relationship with the Gods and through our ethical framework. We look, honestly, at who we are and where we stand. Then we set out to become the best person we can.

There is the ethic of self responsibility. That means no one saves us from ourselves. We are responsible for everything we do.  This principle works very well in conjunction with the Law of Return.

This is a short list. It is boiled down to the very bare bones. Each of the principles has much that goes with it. There are other principles that people include in this list. This my list and I am a Wiccan. I don't stand for the whole of Wicca.

If you want to read a bit I will suggest that you find, Wicca for the Solitary Practitioner by Scott Cunningham. It is an older book and many people don't like it well. It is very basic. The history Cunningham gives is not historical but is rather mythical. It has a place in Wicca but is not "the Facts". There are other books that will give you the historical roots of this religion.

I hope I have not confused the issue for you further. Please, please, please!!!!! do take Creaky's advice. You don't have to make a decision about whether you are Wiccan tomorrow, next week, next year or in this decade! This is a religion and it isn't going anywhere. Look at the list I gave you. See if it resonates with you. If so then you may be on the right path. Don't rely on anyone but YOU to make this decision. Your friend may have years of practice but still doesn't make her an authority. My years don't make ME an authority. My years give me a perspective and that's all. I practice Wicca and am Wiccan because it is the religion of my heart. If it is the religion of YOUR heart then set out to be Wiccan.

Peace to you,
itty