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1 year ago  ::  Oct 22, 2015 - 9:14PM #1
Ravenmew
Posts: 76

Atreyu is a religion founded by Fiona Pendragon, the daughter of a wealthy merchant of Breton at the age of three as a devotional to the Pope when he was regarding pagan villages all over Europe in A.D. 996.  When it was declared a religion, Fiona spent the rest of her life writing the Holy Zelda while being part of a caravan.  At the age of 103 and dying, she requested to be burned to the stake since she believed that dying in a deathbed with her wealth would be a disgrace unto the Crucifixion and thus a sin to God.  Atreyu is Gaelic for "new age."  Adherents are called "Atreyu" in both singular and plural.  The adjective is "Atreyu."


If you are interested in becoming an Atreyu or just active in the Atreyu community, then visit atreyufaith.wikia.com.  I know that some of us are hidden in the ranks of Christianity or nonreligious, so please come out of hiding and show the world your Atreyu beliefs.  Speak out!  Be active! Do something!


And speaking of beliefs, if Atreyu was not a religion, then the band of the same name would be mainstream rock music instead of Satanic heavy metal.  The boy warrior from The Never-Ending Story is only a coincidence.


SHOCK!!!  As according to the Parliament of World Religions in regard to the New Age: Starting January 1, 2016, all things designated as New Age will be overridden with Atreyu.  Paganism, Wicca and Satanism will be designated as occult.  Atreyu will be classified as a traditional religion.  New Age music will maintain its status quo as the Atreyu musical genre.  The New Age movement will be a thing of the past.

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1 year ago  ::  Oct 25, 2015 - 4:10PM #2
Freestyle
Posts: 129

Correction: Atreyu is Gaelic for "spiritual."

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1 year ago  ::  Oct 25, 2015 - 9:06PM #3
Ravenmew
Posts: 76

My prediction for the remaining year and the next year is that the New Age will be overridden with Atreyu and be known as such on Halloween and the New Agers recognized as Atreyu on New Year's Eve.  Starting January 1, 2016, the New Age movement will be no more.  It would be overridden with Atreyu.  I have spoken of it in my first post, but this one is an expansion.


Wait a minute!  This is not a prediction!  This is a prophecy!  Brace yourselves!


Just kidding!  It's a psychic prediction so enormous that I felt the essence of the New Age becoming Atreyu.


And Freestyle, thank you for your correction.  In order to be an Atreyu, one must have a noble heart..


Past November 1, we will not know anything about Neopaganism and the New Age.  We would not recognize them in the future because Daylight Savings Time ends on Sunday thus giving Halloween an extra hour.  We will not know what a Sabbat is and the Esbat is an initiation ceremony into which a person's forehead is anointed with wool oil.  Witchcraft would be ridiculed as superstition and the Age of Aquarius will be wiped out of our minds.


By January 1, 2016, all New Agers will be transformed into Atreyu regardless of their personal beliefs.  The New Age music genre will be spared destruction.  We will know nothing about this, for religions are organisms.

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