|4 years ago :: Oct 06, 2011 - 2:56PM #1|
Once upon a time, there was a man who loved the world so much that he gave birth to his eldest son, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life. Unfortunately, his family did not approve of the action considering it filthy and a disgrace to womanhood. They shunned him to the point where he and his father were barred from family gatherings. Being so upset at this betrayl, the man sought counseling to help him cope with his hardships.
"Why did your family disown you?" asked the counselor.
"Because I adopted my eldest son when he was a baby. My family wants a blood child and would be ashamed if the parent cannot conceive." The man held the truth away from the counselor lest worsening the situation.
"It sounds like there has been a grudge in the family and they are projecting it out on you."
After the man left the counselor, a member of his family came to him and asked, "May I spend the night with you?"
"Why?" the man asked.
"Because he told me that New Agers would go to Hell and I am a New Ager," the relative replied.
"That shouldn't be a problem," the man said. "What is wrong with your father?"
The relative responded, "In a past life, he used to be a woman who gave birth to a baby out of wedlock. Of course, she said that if I was a man, that baby will serve me right."
"That does not sound so bad," the man said. "Everyone thinks I gave birth to my eldest son."
"That's the problem. In his past life, he refused to breastfeed."
|4 years ago :: Oct 11, 2011 - 11:21AM #2|
There was a woman into whom was not able to conceive a child. She tried every method in the book ranging from fertility treatment to multiple lovers, but sadly she was still barren. She blamed God for being infertile and came to the point where she believed that God did not exist.
One day, without knowing, she became pregnant. Thrilled by this news, she arranged her room to make way for the new baby. Her parents were thrilled when they heard the news. As a matter of fact, they arranged a baptism with the church minister.
One day, after the baby was born, the woman had a dream into which she was standing right in front of a man claiming to be the father of the baby.
She asked, "What is your name, sir?"
The man said, "Mew."
The woman thought, How could this man have a feminine name. Then again, it must be bigender. Then she asked him, "How did you become the father of my baby?"
The man replied, "I will not tell how, but I will tell why. I wanted you to be a mother."
At that point, the woman spoke to her mother about the dream. When she mentioned the name of the man, the mother laughed so hard she could barely breathe.
"Mom, what's so funny?" the woman asked.
"Mew is gender feminine. She is the God of the New Age."
The woman was flabbergasted. "You mean that I had sex with a woman?"
"Oh, my God," her father said. "You are lesbian."