May 20, 2011 -- 6:52PM, Jupiter6208 wrote:

In the Kitáb-i-Aqdas marriage is highly recommended but is stated to not be obligatory. Bahá'ís need to be at least 15 years of age to get married, and the consent of all living biological parents is needed to get married. Marriage is also conditioned a payment of dowry by the husband to the wife of approximately 2.2 troy ounces of gold or silver dependent on the permanent residence of the husband. The Kitáb-i-Aqdasallows a man to marry two wives under the condition that they be treated equally. Later, `Abdu'l-Bahá and Shoghi Effendi clarified that monogamy was the intent of the paragraph.

Divorce is permitted, although discouraged, and is granted after a year of separation if the couple is unable to reconcile their differences.

 

Um has this been updated for the 21st century?  lol

the dowry part WAS a carry over from the Muslim times that is not active upon Western believers.

the year of patience is, and will continue to be, used as a tool to achieve reconciliation if at all possible.

in the United States divorce is obtained at the drop of hat and marriage is not taken seriously enough.

I have seen some couples get back together during the year of patience, and I have seen couples complete the year and divorce.

I happen to think it is a good idea which is not seen in any other religion.

it's like "putting your money where your mouth is" when it comes to calling the institution marriage sacred.

May 20, 2011 -- 7:45PM, Jupiter6208 wrote:

I'm assuming the age 15marrying  is part is a sign of the times it was written.

hadn't really given that any thought. since consent of all living parents is required for the sake of unity, it would mean no rational parent gives consent to a 15 year old for marriage.

my parents didn't realize they would be asked for their consent to marry (interracial marriage would definitely not have been approved of if asked in private), nobody thought to ask them until it was MID way through the ceremony...

very long pause

and they said yes.

in hindsight I'd like to think things were influenced from on high to ensure things unfolded as they have.

Jupiter ~

Bahá'ís need to be at least 15 years of age to get married, and the consent of all living biological parents is needed to get married. Marriage is also conditioned a payment of dowry by the husband to the wife of approximately 2.2 troy ounces of gold or silver dependent on the permanent residence of the husband....  Um has this been updated for the 21st century?  lol  ....  I'm assuming the age 15 marrying is part is a sign of the times it was written.

It will never be updated until the appearance of the next Manifestation of God.  But let's look at it from other than the angle of a 21st century westerner.  It's important to remember that the Baha'i Faith is all-inclusive and there are still any number of cultures / indigenous tribes where a young girl is considered eligible for marriage once she begins her menses - often as young as 10-12.  According to the Writings, 15 is the age of spiritual maturity; it's the age when a youth raised in a Baha'i family may decide whether to formally accept Baha'u'llah and, if so, begins to adhere to the laws of the Aqdas.  It doesn't mean that the youth is psychologically mature enough to marry, which is contingent on the permission of both sets of parents who are in a better position to judge.  The law does provide, however, for the protection of a young tribal girl who might begin her monthly cycle prior to the age of 15.  It can also be taken into consideration that typical indigenous tribes have shorter lifespans which might necessitate procreation at earlier ages than western civilization.

As for the dowry, another custom unfamiliar to (and not binding upon) westerners: 

With the Revelation of Bahá'u'lláh many familiar concepts, customs and institutions are redefined and take on new meaning. One of these is the dowry. The institution of dowry is a very ancient practice in many cultures and takes many forms. In some countries it is a payment made by the parents of the bride to the bridegroom; in others it is a payment made by the bridegroom to the parents of the bride, called a "bride-price". In both such cases the amount is often quite considerable. The law of Bahá'u'lláh abolishes all such variants and converts the dowry into a symbolic act whereby the bridegroom presents a gift of a certain limited value to the bride.  ("The Kitab-i-Aqdas," p. 208)

Glad for the opportunity to be of help to you, Jupiter. 

May 22, 2011 -- 8:25AM, Jupiter6208 wrote:

Hello again,

 

How does a child become a Baha'i? under5

with 1 Baha'i parent, that automatically makes all children under the age of accountability Baha'i as well.

my wife was not Baha'i when our son was born, and she wished to have him baptised into the Catholic church... which was no problem. for children in multi-religious families they are allowed to be acknowledged members of 2 religions.

the Baha'i parent is asked to submit the child's name to the National Baha'i office.

this bothers me deeply, because in doing so, the child will automatically be Baha'i when they turn 15 and must "opt OUT" if that's their choice.

I refuse to allow this for my son. if he wants to be Baha'i when he turns 15 he must "opt IN" by signing a declaration card himself.

there have been no consequences to my NOT adhering to the guidance and wisdom from National.