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3 years ago  ::  Oct 23, 2010 - 7:41PM #1
searching4faith
Posts: 22

First off I grew up Catholic so the dogma is still strong in me.I feel guilty about this and keep thinking I want to be in Heaven with my partner.So I try to leave this but something always pulls me back.I do not pray to the gods or goddess.I wish I did not grow up in a religion so this would not be so hard for me to accept.I have done two candle spells and celebrated Lammas.I keep going back and forth about this.I have heard of Christain witchcraft - well most think that cant be possible but others do.I guess I am afraid of calling on things right?Thanks

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3 years ago  ::  Oct 23, 2010 - 9:00PM #2
Sacrificialgoddess
Posts: 9,496

Oct 23, 2010 -- 7:41PM, searching4faith wrote:

First off I grew up Catholic so the dogma is still strong in me.I feel guilty about this and keep thinking I want to be in Heaven with my partner.So I try to leave this but something always pulls me back.I do not pray to the gods or goddess.I wish I did not grow up in a religion so this would not be so hard for me to accept.I have done two candle spells and celebrated Lammas.I keep going back and forth about this.I have heard of Christain witchcraft - well most think that cant be possible but others do.I guess I am afraid of calling on things right?Thanks






I guess I'll just roll down the line here.  Everyone has lingerings of their old religion when they switch to a new one.  This is not just you.  There's a support group you might check out walkawayers.org/about-us/.
If you don't believe, then you don't believe. It's just how it is.  But if you do believe, then there is no harm in it, in my opinion. If you don't pray to gods or goddesses, then what makes you believe that Wicca is for you?  I am not trying to be mean; I just think you need to think about that, because a big part of Wicca is the gods and goddesses.
You celebrated Lammas? So what about Mabon?  Are you planning to celebrate Samhain? How long have you been looking at paganism? There are many pagan books that suggest a year and a day, and I don't think that is such a bad idea, particularly in your case. Give it time.  If you decide Christianity is for you, then no harm.  If you think Paganism is right for you, then you will have taken the time to study it properly.

Hmmm. Christian Witchcraft is possible.  Christian Wicca really is not. Witchcraft and Wicca are not always the same thing.  Sometimes they are, but, well, that is an essay's worth of topic. Here is a website that will answer most of your questions, or at least give you a starting point for study: wicca.timerift.net/.

You said you are afraid of calling on things. I am not quite sure what you meant by that.  Perhaps you could explain?
I hope I have helped you a little, anyway.

Dark Energy. It can be found in the observable Universe. Found in ratios of 75% more than any other substance. Dark Energy. It can be found in religious extremists, in cheerleaders. To come to the conclusion that Dark signifies mean and malevolent would define 75% of the Universe as an evil force. Alternatively, to think that some cheerleaders don't have razors in their snatch is to be foolishly unarmed.

-- Tori Amos
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3 years ago  ::  Oct 24, 2010 - 2:29PM #3
searching4faith
Posts: 22

Thanks for responding and the websites.Well,I celebrated Lammas sometime ago.My partner grew up in the south and seen a lot of voodoo so she keeps warning me and I guess that gets to me.I guess I figure that when I get to Heaven and God says it was ok for Wicca and such I will be mad because I couldve stayed without the guilt.That is my biggest thing I guess.I feel I am in libo as in not close to God anymore yet not close to Goddess either.How do I get close to one or the other again?Again thank you.

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3 years ago  ::  Oct 24, 2010 - 4:04PM #4
Sacrificialgoddess
Posts: 9,496

Oct 24, 2010 -- 2:29PM, searching4faith wrote:

Thanks for responding and the websites.Well,I celebrated Lammas sometime ago.My partner grew up in the south and seen a lot of voodoo so she keeps warning me and I guess that gets to me.I guess I figure that when I get to Heaven and God says it was ok for Wicca and such I will be mad because I couldve stayed without the guilt.That is my biggest thing I guess.I feel I am in libo as in not close to God anymore yet not close to Goddess either.How do I get close to one or the other again?Again thank you.






There is a scare factor with Vodun that is just not there once you get to know the practitioners.  Many are very nice people.  It's kind of like Satanism; gets a bad rap because people don't bother to learn about it.  Here are a few brief facts about it: www.religioustolerance.org/voodoo.htm. And here is a place you can talk to actual practitioners, you know, if you want to get it from the horse's mouth as it were.  As for heaven, and yhvh, you know that our gods aren't the Christian gods and we don't hold to the concept of heaven, don't you?  The closest we get is some Wiccans believe in a place called the summerland. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Summerland. Not every wiccan believes this though. We follow different gods, and honestly don't believe in salvation theology at all.

*sigh*

I met my goddess in a fairly violent fashion.  I had been having difficulties.  YHVH wasn't responding to any of my requests to meet him. Meet isn't really the right word, I know, but it will have to do, because I don't know what the right word really would be. He might as well not have existed. I still haven't had a conversation with him, but a friend of mine told me she did, so at the moment, that is good enough for me as evidence.  Anyway, in my frustration, I yelled out to the universe,"Is there anybody out there?" The response I got was an "About damned time you talked to me," from my goddess, who demanded tea, criticized my tea making abilities, and then told me if I didn't get my crap together, I would be dead before the end of the year. The word she actually used wasn't crap.  At any rate, she had been wanting me to notice her for some time before hand.  The only reason she used the clue by four is that things had gotten really bad for me.
You don't want the clue by four.
My introduction to my god was less... dramatic. He actually seemed to find the whole thing funny.
At any rate, listen for your god and goddess.  The ones who choose you will be letting you know, if you don't have your head up your butt like I did. They are subtle, until they can't be any longer.  And this is a radical concept for a Christian, I know, but not all gods are going to choose you.
I will repeat that. Not all gods are going to choose you.  And that is okay, because my relationship with my god and goddess is like my marriage.  It is that intimate. I am for some gods and not for others.  I wouldn't want to share my husband, nor would I want to have more than one husband.  That is just too much work.  It is the same with the gods. You will know your god and goddess when you meet them. And they will know you.  And anyone who tells you that you should follow their god can stick it.  Because honestly they don't know what they are talking about. Because it is essentially the same thing as telling someone they should have sex with your mate.  It makes zero sense.

Dark Energy. It can be found in the observable Universe. Found in ratios of 75% more than any other substance. Dark Energy. It can be found in religious extremists, in cheerleaders. To come to the conclusion that Dark signifies mean and malevolent would define 75% of the Universe as an evil force. Alternatively, to think that some cheerleaders don't have razors in their snatch is to be foolishly unarmed.

-- Tori Amos
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3 years ago  ::  Oct 25, 2010 - 8:50AM #5
Brownowl33
Posts: 443

Oct 24, 2010 -- 2:29PM, searching4faith wrote:


Thanks for responding and the websites.Well,I celebrated Lammas sometime ago.My partner grew up in the south and seen a lot of voodoo so she keeps warning me and I guess that gets to me.I guess I figure that when I get to Heaven and God says it was ok for Wicca and such I will be mad because I couldve stayed without the guilt.That is my biggest thing I guess.I feel I am in libo as in not close to God anymore yet not close to Goddess either.How do I get close to one or the other again?Again thank you.




 


It sounds like you have a LONG way to go before you can identify as any one religion.  The ideas of "Heaven" and "god" (as one, male god) are completely foreign to Wicca, as with any Pagan religion.  The concepts just aren't there.  If you still believe in those things, then you are still firmly in the Judeo-Christian mindset.  As SG pointed out, "Christian Witchcraft" is theoretically possible (though, I think, extremely inadvisable as the Bible calls for magic-doers to be put to death, something the various churches have had little hesitation doing) but "Christian Wicca" emphatically is not.


I'm not clear exactly what you're after.  If you're just wanting to do magic, anybody can do that; you don't have to follow a religion.  If you're wanting to "get to know" various Pagan deities, then I would stop worrying about "god" and "heaven" and start reading up on the assorted Gods and Goddesses (there is no one being called "the Goddess") and see which one resonates with you.  There are many, many Pagan religions out there to explore.  As to the "Voodoo" thing, I think what they probably meant was "hoodoo" (which is a folk magic practice) but either way, it's not something evil or to be afraid of.  As SG again pointed out, Voodoo has been used as a catch-all for all kinds of things (Much like "Wicca" actually) that it really doesn't have anything to do with.  It's certainly not Satanic or evil.


If I were you, I would spend a long, long time researching and thinking before you decide on any religion.  The guilt stuff can be hard to overcome, but once you realize the Christian god isn't going to "get you" for questioning things, it will become easier.  If you read through these boards you can find a lot of good links to books and other resources that might help you out.


Good luck!

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3 years ago  ::  Jan 05, 2011 - 3:07AM #6
Zavist
Posts: 32

I do not see a problem in your discomfort. It is merely your past transgressions and stigmas from a faith that was not entirely yours shoved down into your subconscious, a good remedy of those pesky and unhealthy doubts, aniexty and depression is to give yourself a proper initiation ceremony. I'm sure since you said you have practiced before you can do the proper research yourself, but I suggest flitering the theme of the initiation as a rebirth into your new faith or state of being. As for which path your choose that is entirely up to you. But also keep in mind that choosing a religious or spiritual path to dedicate oneself to takes time and patience. Alot of soul searching is needed in attuning to yourself and what your true passions or devotions are. So try not to be frustrated or feel there is a problem with you just keep searching inwards and the answers will come forth.

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