Apr 7, 2010 -- 11:43AM, Mona wrote:

she is arab, early 20s...so, if she attempts suicide because she is depressed and has bipolar, will it tarnish her reputation...this is arabic culture im talking about, will it ruin her chances of getting married?? will it tarnish the familiy's reputation? or will her arab/ muslim community embrace her and get her help and not judge her??

Salam sister Mona,

To be honest, if someone attempted suicide the least of her worries should be her "reputation". That person is in VERY SERIOUS NEED of medical help... like... NOW.  People who try to commit suicide DIE. Even people that are not trying "seriously" ( I mean, people who actually want to get their family's attention, to see the pain they're going through but don't really want to die) still DIE. I have seen many young adults die because they were toying with death.

If whoever is in that situation is not getting help from their families, he/she should go to ANY women's shelter or any women's association to talk to a social worker and see what can be done. She can also go to the ER of any hospital. There are always social workers around.

Now in regards to your question...

1. Whatever happened to her does not need to become public.

2. Whether she wants to share what happened to her with her future spouse or not, it will depend on her. Personally, I would want my spouse to know everything about me.

3. The more educated the people, the better they will react

4. The less educated, the worse they will react

5. No, her "arab" community will probably not embrace her in general and people might gossip. She needs to find a niche, a group of friends where she can feel comfortable. If anything I would advice her to expand her horizons and try to see the world around her. There's more than arabs in this world.

I hope this helps. I am being very honest because, sadly, reality is often less than ideal. But alhamdulillah, there are LOTS of people out there in this world that understand that sometimes mental health is hard, and it's just an illness like many others, and that people need support, hugs and lots of love. I pray that whomever is in need of this will find it.

All the best,

Ceren

Apr 8, 2010 -- 3:03PM, Mona wrote:

actually, she admitted to me she already did. she said she did it to scare her parents. now she is wondering how everyone else will react and if they will gossip and if it will affect her marital prospects.

Salam,

Yes as I said before, if it gets out a lot of people will not want to associate with her. I would think though that her parents won't start any gossip.

Also the more educated the people, the less they will be judgemental.