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2 years ago ::
Dec 02, 2009 - 4:37PM
#1
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Hi, I was wondering if there were any women (who did not convert to Islam) who were married to Muslims and raising children? I have been married for almost 7 years and I have a 15 month old daughter. I am looking to meet Muslim women and non-Muslim women who can share thoughts/advice on raising kids in the Muslim faith or in a interfaith household. My husband does not practice but he was raised Muslim and believes in his faith. I was raised Catholic and although I pray at home, I go to church maybe 4 times a year. I am sure there are many people who have stories to share about families who have been successful at raising children in faith, even if parents where themselves raised in different faiths? Thanks!
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2 years ago ::
Dec 04, 2009 - 1:42PM
#2
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Salaam my dear sister Aswane  and welcome sister to the forum I am not a 'sister' or a 'mother' as you can see but I do have some experience raising children as a father so i hope my words can be of some assistance to you Children being raised as Muslims need to be taught about Islam and once their older, then they need to be encouraged to practice the prayers too but this dont apply to your daughter for now You can begin by teaching her the shahada [the islamic testimony of faith] which is to say 'La ilaha ilellah Muhammad ar Rasulullah'' and it's meaning is 'there is no God except ALlah and muhammad [saw] is His Messenger'; every Muslim child needs to be taught this shahadah in a way they have it memmorised and imbedded in their hearts so that they really believe it, and then children can be taught easy and small surahs [chapters] of the Quran; they should be taught the praises of ALlah too [utterances that all muslims can say frequently in order to praise ALlah] which are SubHanALlah, ALHamdulilllah, Lailaha ilellah, and Allahuakbar; their meanings respectively are, glory be to ALlah, praise be to ALlah, there is no God except ALlah, and ALlah is the greatest I think being a non-Muslim you may not know all of this sister and these surahs and praises and the shahada needs to be taught with the correct and proper pronounciations too hence maybe you and your husband can consider employing an Islamic teacher from the local mosque or something to come round and teach your child for a hour or two a week? many muslim families teach their children in this way; if you decide to employ an Islamic teacher then he will no doubt teach your child all the basics she would need to learn and you and your husband can teach her of whatever you both know of Islam and the ettiquettes of good manners and things which are shared in all religions Also sister you can buy your child Islamic books for kids and videos, or cd's with Islamic stories in them; there's plenty of that stuff in Islamic book shops these days Also you can learn of the basics of Islam however much you can from Islamic websites and teach your child whatever you can of it, but it is verry important to give her the basic education of learning the Islamic shahada and kalima's [other testimonies to do with essential beliefs of islam] and as much of the Quran as she can learn in her early years and for this purpose I think it may be best to employ an Islamic teacher for this [if your husband dont know it himself or dont have the time to teach her properly] ; also once she is a little older, you can send her to the local mosque [if there is one in your area] where they may hold children classes All the best sister and I hope and pray that your little girl turns out into a verry good practicing muslimah Salam ps: one other thing you can teach her sister and which is verry important for a Muslim to learn too, is to say 'bismillah' before commencing anything that is worth doing, especially before eating, so whenever she eats or drinks anything, teach her to say 'bismillah' [in the name of ALlah] just before it; Allah blesses the food and drink in that way... Also, after finishing eating and drinking, you can teach her to say 'AlHamdulillah' [praise be to Allah] and that is a way of thanking ALlah [swt] for the food Salam
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2 years ago ::
Dec 04, 2009 - 4:13PM
#3
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Thanks for your response Abdullah! I really appreciate it. I need to be more clear with what I am looking for though. I wanted to know if anyone in the community knows of any other children living in an interfaith household where the mom and dad are of different faiths? I know it can be done but I want to know of any other people in the same situation and what they find works and does not work in raising spiritual children where the mom/dad is not converting but married to someone of the muslim faith. This does not mean that I am against raising my daughter with Islam but I also want her to be aware of my upbringing and her maternal side of the family's religion. Hope this makes sense? I have been reading the other threads and noticed that people like Miraj or Ceren might have some experience or wisdom about this subject? For example, some people think it would confuse the children to celebrate Christmas. Some other don't think it is confusing. Also, I have some friends who were brought up in a 100% Muslim family but celebrate Christmas and have even gone to Catholic schools. Thanks!
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2 years ago ::
Aug 22, 2010 - 10:27PM
#4
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I do understand. I am a Christian (Presbyterian) and my husband is a Moslem. We have 2 children ages 13 and 10. The way we have handled it is that each parent teaches the children about their faith. My husband doesn't attend a Mosque and I attend church so the children come to church with me and as I am homeschooling them, I teach them about my faith, Christianity, and my husband's faith, Islam. We teach it as This is what mammy believs and This is what daddy believes. They are not confused at all - but I will admit that they are leaning towards and believe the Christian faith more strongly because they have more exposure.... I have never attempted to stop them from learning abaout Islam but it is my husband's responsibility and he does not do enough with it. So, I have taken over making sure they know the basics of their daddy's faith. I hope this was helpful to you. Focus on what the faith's have in common while they are real little - there is a lot of commonalities.
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2 years ago ::
Sep 14, 2010 - 12:20AM
#5
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Hello I am christian and my husband is muslim. We have a 2yr. boy and 15 month girl. We have been married for 8 years. Prior to getting married we didnt celebrate christmas in the traditional sense. We attended holiday parties and family gatherings. Now that we have children I am really struggling with celebrating christmas (tree, exchanging gifts etc.) My husband is against exchanging gifts. He wants us to give and not receive. He is also against a tree and decorating. I truely miss these traditions and I want our children to experience them. We are a giving family and I believe we can teach our children that without getting caught up in the commercialisim of Christmas. My husband converted to islam in the 90's. He grew up Lutheran. I was raised Catholic and have sinced moved away from catholisism and consider myself non-denominational. We attend church together and I also go on my own. I have also attended Jumar services on a regular basis with and without my husband. I am committed to raising our children so they are spiritual and appreciate both as well as all religions. If anyone has any ideas or suggestions on how my family can appreciate and celebrate all important holidays in both religion, I would be grateful for the feedback. Thank you
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2 years ago ::
Oct 10, 2010 - 1:46PM
#6
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I'm a Muslim guy. I am thinking about marrying a Catholic girl. Her idea of raising the kids is to teach them both religions. So they would go to the mosque with me and do prayers and fast and read to Quran. And they would go to church with her and celebrate christmas and so on. I'm not worried about the children being confused anymore becuase we've read researshes saying that children can separate between 2 religions as well as they can learn 2 different languages and know the difference. My concern is whether or not Islam is ok with that. What if my kids don't turn out to be Muslim, but still Christian like their mom? Is that against Islam? I know Islam is not against learning the 2 religions. I hope to find people that has been through this who can give me a little of their experience. Thank you.
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2 years ago ::
Oct 10, 2010 - 2:59PM
#7
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I'm a Muslim guy. I am thinking about marrying a Catholic girl. Her idea of raising the kids is to teach them both religions. So they would go to the mosque with me and do prayers and fast and read to Quran. And they would go to church with her and celebrate christmas and so on. I'm not worried about the children being confused anymore becuase we've read researshes saying that children can separate between 2 religions as well as they can learn 2 different languages and know the difference. My concern is whether or not Islam is ok with that. What if my kids don't turn out to be Muslim, but still Christian like their mom? Is that against Islam? I know Islam is not against learning the 2 religions.
I hope to find people that has been through this who can give me a little of their experience.
Thank you.
Salaam Brother and welcome! it is ok to teach the children about different religions, so they get an insight into the various religions out there and there beliefs and practices, but from an Islamic point of view, it is also important to teach them about it from the Islamic perspective which ofcourse will be that every other religion other than Islam is false; i know this sounds a bit intollerant brother, especially to couples in interfaith marraiges, but this is the one and only answer Islam provides for it also practicing other religions for the children in terms of a Muslim parent allowing it, is totally unacceptable too for any shirky/kufr aspects [i.e that which constitutes associating partners with ALlah or desbelief] of the practice will render the children non-Muslims and other aspects that dont conform to Islam will be a reprehensible innovation brother, here is a link that will explain Islams exclucivity, and all Muslims really should get aquainted with this very important message, for our and our childrens eternal salvation depends on it: www.masud.co.uk/ISLAM/nuh/amat.htm hope this helps Salaam!
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1 year ago ::
Jan 08, 2011 - 8:08AM
#8
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Hi Aswane I would be very interested in your progress since your post? Did you find mothers in similar positions to you? I'm married to a Muslim man and are planning children. I'm a bit ahead of time, but I would like to learn any hints and tips now! Love & Best Wishes
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2 months ago ::
Apr 04, 2012 - 7:38AM
#9
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I do understand. I am a Christian (Presbyterian) and my husband is a Moslem. We have 2 children ages 13 and 10. The way we have handled it is that each parent teaches the children about their faith. My husband doesn't attend a Mosque and I attend church so the children come to church with me and as I am homeschooling them, I teach them about my faith, Christianity, and my husband's faith, Islam. We teach it as This is what mammy believs and This is what daddy believes. They are not confused at all - but I will admit that they are leaning towards and believe the Christian faith more strongly because they have more exposure....
I have never attempted to stop them from learning abaout Islam but it is my husband's responsibility and he does not do enough with it. So, I have taken over making sure they know the basics of their daddy's faith.
I hope this was helpful to you. Focus on what the faith's have in common while they are real little - there is a lot of commonalities.
Hey Heir2throne! I am in a similar boat with you and have a 4 and 2 year old. The 4 year old has been attending church with me and recently has been asking the questions. My Muslim husband and I are ready to begin introducing them to his faith. He doesn't attend a Mosque on a regular basis but goes maybe 4 times a year (and during Ramadan). I would like to ask you more info if possible. Could you email me? I just joined this site today so I am trying to maneuver through how things work. Thanks! TheBoyzMom
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