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5 years ago  ::  Jun 08, 2009 - 8:28PM #1
Saturn88
Posts: 11

I have no teacher that I can go to, so I come here from time to time.  I'm having a hard time living the precepts in the realm of "real life".  Specifically, how do I relate to people with whom I can not trust.  How can I stay at peace and in the moment when I feel the need to guard myself against people I work with, including my immediate supervisor.  I work in a school and my supervisor plotted to get a teacher fired earlier in the year.  I believe in the precepts.  I also believe my supervisor can be a real threat.  Thank you.  Undecided

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5 years ago  ::  Jun 08, 2009 - 9:52PM #2
happy_hotei
Posts: 36

Hi Saturn!  Nice to hear from you again - it's been a while.  I'm sorry to hear you're having troubles at school, but glad to hear you're still working there. Smile  I, too, sometimes have trouble reconciling my practise with the reality of teaching and have struggled with it for a few years.  What I've found helpful is focusing on the broader tenets of the Noble Eightfold Path, specifically Right Action, Right Speech, Right Livelihood and Right Effort.  Generally, I try to make sure that what I think, say and do is done from the perspective of the dharma, so as to be beneficial to all.  It's amazing how even the most irritating of adolescents will respond positively to that when applied consistently.  Likewise, the faculty will come to see such behaviour as dignified, honourable and trustworthy so they will regard you more favourably too.  It's not always easy and I've blown it many times over, but it is a goal to strive for and it does make a difference.  If you are in need of a good, succinct translation of the N8P, try here: www.beyondthenet.net/dhamma/nobleEight.h....


I wish you well in your work and practise.


Peace,


hh

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5 years ago  ::  Jun 09, 2009 - 9:43AM #3
Bhakta_glenn
Posts: 890

The Satipanya website has some very good online rescources for studying Theravada Buddhism. It also includes some audio files offering guided meditations.


 


For guided meditations: click on the 'Teachings Menu'.


 


From the Drop Down Menu, click on 'Audio Files'




www.satipanya.org


 


The Vipassana Meditation is a good place to start when searching for a Buddhist Teacher. It also may offer advice on how one may attend a short retreat to gain some personal instruction in the practices of walking meditation and sitting meditation.


 


Vipassana Meditation Website


 


www.dhamma.org


 


Free Electronic Book on Buddhist Meditation.


'A Buddhist Way of Mental Trainning'


 


www.mahamakuta.inet.co.th/english/b-way....


If any of the links do not work, try putting the addresses into Google:


www.satipanya.org


www.dhamma.org


www.mahamakuta.inet.co.th/english/b-way....


 

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5 years ago  ::  Jun 09, 2009 - 8:58PM #4
Saturn88
Posts: 11

Nice to hear from you too happy_hotei!  I still struggle with the path.  It's still the one that seems best for me, however.   Thanks for the link.  You reminded me, the path is not just about the precepts.  There are other teachings as well.  I do my best to use Right Speech both with the students and facaulty.  For the most part I feel I am repsected.  There are a few, however, that just the mention of their names brings me anxiety.   At any rate, I hope you are well.  It's nice to know there are a few people I still know around here. Smile


Thanks to you also Bhakta_glenn.  Your links will be helpful to me also.


Peace and Compassion

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5 years ago  ::  Jun 09, 2009 - 9:49PM #5
happy_hotei
Posts: 36

Jun 9, 2009 -- 8:58PM, Saturn88 wrote:


I do my best to use Right Speech both with the students and faculty.  For the most part I feel I am repsected.  There are a few, however, that just the mention of their names brings me anxiety.




Yes, I do know what you mean there.  What I have found helpful is to meditate on that anxiety, to delve into the aversion and soften the feeling somewhat.  By examining the feeling you may come to see its impermanence; the more you face it, the weaker it will become until, one hopes, you will be able to hear the name with more equanimity.  I still have my own anxiety attacks and it takes some doing to get over them, but I find the most effective way is through meditation.  I once read that turning toward our feelings, instead of away from them, is what will eventually bring us peace.  In my experience, it does work.


As for your main question of not trusting your supervisor, this is a tricky situation indeed.  Was it today's Buddhist Wisdom quote that suggested the imperfections we see in others merely reflect our own imperfect vision?  I'm not saying that it's all in your head, but maybe this person appears untrustworthy because you believe him/her to be.  Don't set yourself up for betrayal, but try to see each action for exactly what it is, no more and no less.  By this, I mean that even if it's 90% true and 10% your interpretation, you can still affect that 10% on your own and that may make enough of a difference for you.


I hope some of this has been helpful and if not, please disregard it all together.  May you continue to live and work in peace and happiness.


Blessings to all,


hh

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5 years ago  ::  Jun 12, 2009 - 5:03AM #6
Treegod
Posts: 41

Jun 8, 2009 -- 8:28PM, Saturn88 wrote:


I have no teacher that I can go to, so I come here from time to time.  I'm having a hard time living the precepts in the realm of "real life".  Specifically, how do I relate to people with whom I can not trust.  How can I stay at peace and in the moment when I feel the need to guard myself against people I work with, including my immediate supervisor.  I work in a school and my supervisor plotted to get a teacher fired earlier in the year.  I believe in the precepts.  I also believe my supervisor can be a real threat.  Thank you.  Undecided





Strictly speaking I'm not a Buddhist, but this is an issue I can relate to; how to live my spirituality even when the society I live in is not conducive to any principles or practices I have.


There's a question that goes "How can a moral person stay moral in an immoral world?"


In a sense it is society's problem that it cannot accept the precepts. Your problem, perhaps, is not that you aren't able to follow the precepts but that the situation your in won't accept the precepts. Is there a way to change your situation?


I believe that the spiritual path is not something that the individual is involved in but something the whole universe is involved in. As an individual I am a part of the universe. In a way, difficulties in following the precepts, whether internal or external, are part of a spiritual journey.


Resolving the issue of how to be able to be spiritual in an unspiritual society is a part of the individual's spiritual journey and also that of society.

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5 years ago  ::  Jun 12, 2009 - 6:49AM #7
Cinorjer
Posts: 124

Of course you can trust your supervisor.  You can trust your supervisor to act the same way he or she has acted in the past.  If people act in ways that hurt others, eventually the law of karma says the consequences will catch up to them.   


But if you want to be calm at work?  If the situation requires you to be on your guard, then be that way.  Then return to calm when that is required.  If a temple catches on fire around some monks, do you expect the monks inside to be calm?  There are situations and relationships in all our lives, Buddhist or not, that are stressful.  Full of stress.  The Buddhist practice is to learn to not carry that stress around with you after the situation changes.


The stress comes in not knowing if something bad is going to happen to us.  Right now our society has much stress, because so many people are unexpectently fired or wondering if their life is going to explode along with so many others with no way to pay the bills.  Nobody is secure.


Remind yourself that you were never secure.  There is no such thing.  Do what you can to help other people.  Even those you don't like.  This is life, the life Buddha warned us will never make us eternally happy because even if we have everything, it just means we worry about losing it.  And keep practicing meditation and the 8-fold path.


We're all in this together. 


   

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5 years ago  ::  Jun 14, 2009 - 11:35AM #8
Barrybear47
Posts: 8

I see no conflict in the precepts where dealing with your supervisor is concerned.  If this person is inappropriately using their position to create an atmosphere of distrust and fear.  If you were walking down a path with your coworkers and you saw a tiger, would you not say, "Look, a tiger!"  It would be as I see it, an act of greater compassion to help this person to either learn to be  less adversarial or to encourage them to seek employment elsewhere.  Any person who works in Education who cannot work and play well with others,  for the good of all involved, should not be tolerated.  A nicely worded note to the school board or to this person's boss may help.  If there is not a policy in place to help in such cases, perhaps there should be.

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5 years ago  ::  Jun 14, 2009 - 2:27PM #9
Sistersheba
Posts: 4

I believe that in living the precepts in the real world we are responsible for our own behavior, not that of others.  We cannot worry about the intentions or motivations of others and maintain our own serenity.  As soon as we start to worry about what we cannot control we enter into the realm of the dream, or in this case nightmare and reflect either resentement over past unjust punishment and/or a desire to control others.


 


Try the practice of mirror wisdom.  What are reacting to?  How can you practice compassion in this situation.  Did you help defend an unjust attack on the previous teacher, or was the attack though viscious and ego centered, justifiable?  Use this unpleasant person as a "wrathful" sat guru.  You will automatically start to detach and probably learn something useful in the process.


 


I salute you for being a teacher.  That is certainly practising "right livelihood"!




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5 years ago  ::  Jun 14, 2009 - 9:25PM #10
RenGalskap
Posts: 1,420

Hi SS, welcome to Bnet. I see that this is your first post. :)


For those of us who aren't familiar with Tibetan Buddhism, could you explain a little about wrathful sat gurus?


Also, how does this practice work for you? Does it quiet that powerful urge to defend ourselves against things we're afraid of?

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