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6 years ago  ::  Mar 18, 2009 - 1:06AM #11
Distressed1
Posts: 6

I just wanted to stop by really quick and let you all know I've been reading everything being said. I just haven't been feeling well, but I will get back and respond to everything asap OK!Thank you all so much for your kindness and for the comments, they have all meant so much and have provided much food for thought (as well as encouragement).


Take care!

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6 years ago  ::  Mar 18, 2009 - 1:17AM #12
anotherpaul
Posts: 2,702

Mar 18, 2009 -- 1:06AM, Distressed1 wrote:


I just wanted to stop by really quick and let you all know I've been reading everything being said. I just haven't been feeling well, but I will get back and respond to everything asap OK!Thank you all so much for your kindness and for the comments, they have all meant so much and have provided much food for thought (as well as encouragement).


Take care!




 


Glad you stopped by. Be sure we are keeping yoi in our thoughts and prayers.

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5 years ago  ::  Mar 19, 2009 - 6:27AM #13
Positivethinking
Posts: 8

Peaches100


 


Just a comment on this line:


"I lost two very, very close friends too, not to the world, but because of personal misunderstandings and their lack of knowledge about clinical depression and the way it affected me.  Though I think (hope) I've forgiven them, the hurt is still strong inside me.  "


 


Please continue to love these friends so long as THEY continue to love Jehovah. I behaved like an ignoramus with a sister who (fortunately I am still friends with her - but I had to actually fight hard with myself and her to rekindle the love that should belong after so much time as friends) suffered from depression and confided in me that she wanted to seek help.


Now that I am so much more informed I know the ins and outs of depression and almost feel qualified to even suggest when clinical help could be sought but back when she spoke first to me I thouht I sensed a desire to circumvent the assistance from the brothers and the organization and go straight for medical help - (which as was mentioned - you gotto find psychiatric assistance which respect ur belief) Yet eventually her need outweighed anyones so called theocratic opinion and sadly, the Awake article some years back about Bipolarism - was what opened the eyes of many and gave power to her argument. (there were many articles on such things published before this, but who reads those?? :-) )


So many got the point- I got the point.. They may not get it- in your situation. But love em anyway - cuz if they love Jehovah - THEY WILL GET IT (this is of course if your not stepping beyond conscience into unscriptual medical practices - but thats neither my place to say nor do i think it based upon your encouraging words- still gotto add it as a disclaimer)... and when they do it'll come like a Millstone on their hearts - and YOU can be there to help ease that weight..


We're imperfect - but Love (John13:35) will keep us together.


Take care


 


(As always my true brothers and sisters, Be careful of what you read, what you think, what you feel. Satan became Satan - when he thought - then felt- then acted - then died to us all... Lets be positive and think towards life. Love Ya's)

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5 years ago  ::  Mar 20, 2009 - 5:57AM #14
Distressed1
Posts: 6

YAY I'm finally back to some sense of normalcy. The flu is rough this year. This is the 3rd time Ive got sick this year. Not fun. I think I'm OK now.. I hope anyway. I was excited to get back and respond to everyone and I believe I addressed all. I hope anyway. I'm sorry if I missed something or someone. I've taken the advice of many of you and have made more effort to be around my friends and the congregations. It's def. made it easier and has given me opportunity to FINALLY smile and laugh, even if only for a few days :) today started off well but ended with tears but I have an amazing friend who sat there with me through it all and again in taking all the advice mentioned I'm trying to focus on the positive and rely on Jah! So I thank you all for taking the time again and for the encouragement. You will never know how grateful I am as words don't suffice.


HSFT- Thank you gain for your words. You are right, the world we currently live in is filled with so much anguish and distress. I can honestly say, most brothers and sisters I know are going through SOMETHING. It's unfortunate, it really is. It makes my own issues non-important when I think about the strife and difficulties some of the friends are facing. I'm trying to hang on though. I realize I have a lot to work on but I am doing what I can to rely on Jehovah. Its hard for me to turn my problems over without taking them back, but I'm trying. I'm sorry about your brother. I know few things are as difficult as watching someone you love die, I did it with both my dad and grandma so I can understand the difficulties in that. As you mentioned our relationship with Jehovah is what will keep us strong and is really the only means to actually enduring such sadness. Someone shared with me Psl 34:17-18 and to this day its a scripture that always brings home the fact that no matter what Jah is there and will free us of all these stresses.  I'll be sure to send you a PM. Thank you again.


AnotherPaul -  Thank you as well for the encouragement provided. Just knowing where my friends [lost to the world] once were in the truth (whether pioneering or serving where the need is great) only amplifies the how hurt Jehovah must feel at them choosing to leave. I know the depth of pain I feel because I was really very close to all of them so I can't begin to try and understand how it affects him. It has been very, VERY, hard (especially since emotions ran deeper with one of them for me) as I mentioned. Unfortunately it hasn't been as easy to get away from that situation as maybe I need but you are right I would much rather make Jehovah happy then to hurt him, which is why I feel horrible that I'm even in the place I'm at now. I'd never want to do anything to pain him so even having thoughts of giving up has only made me worry and feel worse. I just want to do what's right but I'm just so drained. Thank you very much for the thoughts and prayers.


Marken -  Thanks for your words. They were encouraging. You are right. So many times have there been examples where some could have tired out but they remained faithful and Jehovah provides a means to escape or relief. I know and believe in the support and love given to me through all of you as well as those locally Jehovah is giving me all I can need and more. I know relief will be at hand, even if it means suffering just a while longer. I really appreciated your sentiments to Peaches. One never really knows whats going on with someone unless they are within that inner circle of a person. It's often quite humbling to know how much people are really dealing with.


Anzertree -Thank you for making such a valid point about our thoughts. It's not something I thought much about, but you are completely correct. It's something a sister told me tonight as I had a bit of a rough night, she shared with me how if I'm not working on the emotion/thought side of all the problems, these will be constant issues. She said I needed to "let go" and it made sense. I internalize so much of my feelings and thoughts, which obviously is never a good idea. It's only, as you mentioned, a hindrance rather then a beneficial situation all around. She stressed prayer and how it'll only allow for a better relationship with Jehovah as well as giving me the opportunity to address my feelings/thoughts. Thank you as well.


Peaches -Thank you so very, very much for your words and for sharing your story as well. As I read through everything you said I constantly found myself saying "EXACTLY she understands." It really is so hard to "go it alone" I can't imagine the difficulties in no longer having your husband share in something so important to you. In my situation I wasn't married to this brother, yet we shared a lot, we were very close. To have done all I did in the last few months prior to his leaving as well as the effort and time put into him, only to have it all go down the way it did (it was drama), and how it's been since (I've ran into him several times), has just left me so damaged. It's been hard at home because my mom doesn't understand why things have to be the way they are (she was close to him too) so I completely understand what you are saying. Its really rough. I have a question for you if you don't mind me asking, I'll do that privately though. Since everything has happened I will agree it has been much harder to make meetings and service, honestly our hall just feels depleted especially since the situation with the elder and his suicide and on top of that we've had several major changes. So it just feels down overall but I've done as best I could though.  My heart just hurts for you, because I know the feeling of loneliness even amongst the "friends" in the hall. I'm sorry about the two other friends mentioned. I think the way in which you "lost" them might be more difficult because there is a certain level of expected sympathy (or at least I would have expected it) that should have been there IMHO, I guess nothing should be expected though. I'm just sorry they couldn't understand but I do hope for you that you are able to forgive and in the least let that part not eat away at you. I understand that can be hard, it what I struggle with as well. Its hard to "let go" when your hurt so bad. It takes time.. lots of time. You are correct for as much as I wonder if I can make it, I know the world will provide no answer. I always imagine myself in the world more sad and depressed then now, because at least now I have Jehovah and the friends (even if I don't have my blood family). I almost feel stuck between a rock and hard place, even though in reality it's not like that at all. It's hard. Thank you again for your thoughts and for sharing everything you did. For as much as I'm sad you've had to endure all of it I'm so grateful that someone understands and I'm even more appreciative for your encouragement. Thank you so much.


Thanks again everyone. It's been a privilege to "speak" to you all and to see what a loving brotherhood I really am fortunate enough to be apart of. It just further emphasizes Jehovah's loving kindness.


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5 years ago  ::  Mar 27, 2009 - 5:57PM #15
Newtonian
Posts: 12,167

Mar 14, 2009 -- 1:17AM, Distressed1 wrote:


William - Thank you very much for sharing that article. I was able to go back, read it and meditate a bit of the information provided. I really appreciated the scripture mentioned in Psl 94:19 as well as the information on bereavement and on dealing with various trials. All things which have plagued me this year. Thank you for reminding me of the scripture in Isaiah, I guess it's pretty easy to get caught up in the fact that one is dealing with so much. Yet as mentioned, soon it will be forgotten, even if right now it feel like it's never going to end. Thank you again.


HSFT- Thank you as well for taking the time to respond. I really do appreciate your thoughts and scriptural advice.  I am not big on sharing too much because I never really know how much I should put out there but here is just a basic list of this past year (I should say 6 months cause that's more true to time): I've dealt with 2 deaths, 1 being a very close family member (whom I took care of for the better part of my life and I'm 20 something) the other being a member of the local body who committed suicide. I've dealt with health issues concerning my mother. I've struggled with depression & discouragement of both myself as well as my best friend. I've lost 3 friends to the world. I was removed as a pioneer (which wasdevastating to me, because it's all I've known since I got baptized) & I had to give up a foreign Language assignment because of everything I've been dealing with. I lost my job and any means of providing for myself. I've dealt with my own health (and sickness) off and on this whole year and well the final blow came when the person that I loved more then words, someone whom I invested so much time and energy into (especially during the "last days") decided to leave Jehovah. I put so much energy into them.. lets just say I'm really bitter lol. It's been a real struggle and test of my loyalty because I really loved this person but so goes life. That's the gist of it, there's been other stuff but I think this is enough.


I'll do my best to keep close to the congregation, even if at times I don't want to. I know it's what is best for me. It's just REALLY hard. I have my good days and my bad days but I guess it's scares me that's it's more bad then good and so I just want to do all I can to make sure I don't make a stupid decision, you know? I thank you both again for the scriptural encouragement and support. I appreciate you both taking the time and helping me out!




Distressed - I am sorry also for what you have gone through.  My wife and I were also removed as pioneers - she had regular pioneered for some 22 years or so - me some 15 years off and on.  Your posts are a wake up call for me to encourage my wife.  Our problem is neatness (the lack thereof) plus our love for the environment to the extreme where we allow to live in our trailers what other brothers find unacceptable (e.g. a spider).


I have had other more serious problems over the years which resulted in my being removed from pioneering and later going back into that beloved service.  My wife and I hope to get back to pioneering again - hopefully we can get our trailers in order and still keep our love for the various little creations of God we have around us (cats, dogs, and many many other life forms).


One thing I would emphasize: as you clearly still love Jehovah and love people - please hang on to that love and let it motivate you to help others who also have problems - become involved in helping others and your own problems will be less on your mind.  We still love field service.  One of our Bible students is an unbaptized publisher (with many problems like dialysis/diabetes, etc.) and recently helped us conduct another Bible study who is attending meetings (when she overcomes the obstacles she is determined to overcome - she cried about it at out last study).


One can always put in the time without being a pioneer!  Helping a Bible student come in the truth is just as precious an experience as a publisher as it is as a pioneer!


We also had the privilege of helping with two quick build Kingdom Halls recently.  Jehovah still blesses us - but we need to improve.


An old saying:


What is the biggest room of all?


The room for improvement!


May Jehovah bless you as you continue with us in the struggle to serve Jehovah in the midst of Satan's world and despite our imperfections and those of our brothers and sisters.


With Christian Love,


Paul Harth


aka Newtonian


harthpaul@aol.com

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5 years ago  ::  Mar 29, 2009 - 12:25AM #16
anotherpaul
Posts: 2,702

Mar 20, 2009 -- 5:57AM, Distressed1 wrote:


Thanks again everyone. It's been a privilege to "speak" to you all and to see what a loving brotherhood I really am fortunate enough to be apart of. It just further emphasizes Jehovah's loving kindness.





 


Hi,


Remember that you can come here to be encouraged and to encourage others.Your posts are also encouraging to all of us.


In fact you can just come for the fun of being with friends.

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5 years ago  ::  Mar 30, 2009 - 10:54PM #17
Newtonian
Posts: 12,167

Distressed - Sorry I posted before reading all your posts. I see you have been helping others and you are to be commended - and I am glad my brothers were able to encourage you.


I hope my post was helpful anyway.


With Christian love (good agape, philai, storge [spiritual family]),


Paul

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5 years ago  ::  Apr 04, 2009 - 2:28AM #18
Distressed1
Posts: 6

Paul - I wanted to thank you for your comments. I appreciate you sharing your story and I really took encouragement from what you said. I appreciate that you and your wife haven't given up on that avenue of service to Jehovah and also I appreciated you mentioning using other means to keeping myself busy like the RBC (quick builds). I have found that keeping my self focused on other things or people does help, but I also try to remember that for me to benefit anyone - I need to take care of myself (something I'm not really good at, but know that is important). You are correct though, there are so many ways to be of use to Jehovah, it's just about making ones self available to them. There really is something special about being able to pioneer and to take part in such a service to Jehovah. I know no matter what my circumstances now, I know I can say I was fortunate enough to be able to experience pioneering (some never get the chance) at all. I started 6 months after I was baptized and it was all I knew until this year (when I was removed), but even though it was only a few years, for that I AM grateful. I've also been privileged to be in a congregation filled with pioneers (about 32) so I completely understand the joy and desire to want to be and take part in pioneering. So I hope that it is a joy and privilege both you and your wife may experience again and I also hope Jehovah continues to bless all the efforts you make in service to him. Keep in mind, contrary to what others might deem as unacceptable, in the end its about your relationship with Jehovah and if that is pure and according to HIS standards - then that is what matters! Just my two cents worth! :) Please keep us updated on the bible studies and how they progress! Thank you again.


AP- Thank you very much, really. All to often, even amongst friends I don't feel wanted or like I completely fit in, so I really REALLY appreciate your words and kindness. It's comforting to know that I have a place with friends I can turn to. Thank you.

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