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9 years ago  ::  Feb 06, 2009 - 4:56PM #31
ilovedavelister
Posts: 3
I didn't really want to start a whole new thread, so I'm tacking on to this one.

I've spent a few years "living a Jewish life" like they say one should, and am starting to make more formal steps toward conversion.  My husband (who technically converted as a child-- his father is Conservative, his mom is Catholic) and I are currently synagogue shopping, as we are in a new town, and I have a meeting with a rabbi next week to see if his synagogue is the right one for us.

My question is, how did you help your family adjust when you converted?  My parents were very, very loosely religious when I was a child, but after I went to college, they started becoming much moreso.  They're Episcopalians, so they're not judgemental people, but their religion is very meaningful to them, and I know my conversion will hurt them to some degree.

I talk to them all the time, and they really should have some idea.  I work at an Orthodox boy's high school, I am currently learning Hebrew, my husband and I were married by a rabbi in a very definitely Jewish wedding, etc.  But I'm still not quite sure how to break it to them that the time has come for me to do this for myself.  I know the process is long, but I obviously want to give them time and not just spring it upon them late in the game.  Frankly, they may already know and I could be worrying about nothing, but I don't know.

Any ideas?  I'm very close to my parents, and it's hard for me to think that being myself could cause them pain.  I just don't know how to help them adjust.
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9 years ago  ::  Feb 07, 2009 - 10:35AM #32
Triplet_mom_Tx
Posts: 60
I understand your delima.  I was a "born again" Pentecostal Christian.  So what a shock it was.  While I expected a backlash I was pleasantly surprised.  My mother asked some questions and one day called me out of the blue to tell me Shabbat Shalom.  She then also called me for Yom Kippur and told me she would be at my conversion ceremony.  My dad might as well have hooped and hollerd.  He was sooooo excited (I was very surprised by this since he is Catholic).  He couldn't wait to tell his Jewish co-worker that he was now practically Jewish since his daughter was gonna be one LOL.

Now I have found some difficulty with my extended family.  My uncle is a Pastor and my brother is very into the tell every body about Jesus so they wont go to hell thing.  Heck I met my husband at our old church so he is still processing the change.  So be it.  Thankfully he is just fine with me raising our kiddos Jewish.

You had a Jewish wedding.  Your husband is Jewish so I am sure that your family is used to the Jewish thing.  I'll bet that they will just get over it.  Life is short.  Go with what is right for you.  Only you can live your life you know.


I will say this, if need be ease them into it.  Drop hints so that it will soften the blow.  My way was putting up Hanukkah decorations instead of Christmas ones and declining invitations when things were on Shabbat by saying "sorry I don't do (xyz) on Shabbat".
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9 years ago  ::  Feb 09, 2009 - 12:21PM #33
ilovedavelister
Posts: 3
Thanks, triplet_mom.  I've been trying to do that (ie, "Mom, when I visit in April, it's going to be hard to feed me because it's Passover" and we had a chanukiot and lit candles while we were up over the winter holidays.

I guess you're right-- that's about all I can do!
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9 years ago  ::  Feb 14, 2009 - 7:41PM #34
Lindsay Nicole
Posts: 4
I'm interested in reading a lot of those books. I too have never really believed that Jesus was the son of god and I've never felt like I belonged at mass. I was raised episcopalian and even baptised my son as such although over the last couple years I've been trying to learn more about different religions because I do believe in God and think faith is important however hearing from other people they make it sound like I would not be welcomed at temple and that rabbis would not want to discuss things with me. I hope thats just a misconception.
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9 years ago  ::  Feb 15, 2009 - 11:01AM #35
Pam34
Posts: 2,795
It's a misconception. But few synagogues are accustomed to many guests - we don't go out inviting people 'in' mostly because there's no assumption within Judaism that 'believing in Judaism' is something that is desirable for non-Jews. All people are 'righteous' if they behave properly, after all.

Some people who think they might be interested in Judaism find less of a welcome than they expect, because of that - Christians and Muslims are both very much 'evangelical' groups and as such, people coming from that background tend to 'expect' that a seeker will be welcomed with open arms.

Whereas Judaism WILL welcome a sincere seeker, Jews do not seek out converts, and don't 'care' in the same sense that Christians or Muslims would, about a visitor.

Plus quite a number of rabbis are already sufficiently busy, and don't take on for themselves in the lengthy educational and personal effort involved in conversions. Only a few rabbis 'do' conversions and sometimes it takes some time and effort to get in contact with one - and find one that has the time available as well.

So anybody who assumes that they will be a) welcomed with open arms and b) encouraged to convert and c) automatically get a 'teacher' - may well be disappointed.

It takes more than just showing up and saying 'I believe'.
Blessed are You, HaShem, Who blesses the years.
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9 years ago  ::  Feb 15, 2009 - 2:06PM #36
Triplet_mom_Tx
Posts: 60
It also depends on the place and the Rabbi.  My Rabbi (Conservative) was very happy to recieve me.  He made an appointment for me right away and didnt try to convince me otherwise.  I also ocasionally attend a Reform shul because it is closer to my home as opposed to the other wihich is an hour away and found that the Rabbi there was just as open and happy to recieve those wanting to convert.  This shul is very small and the Conservative one is very large.
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9 years ago  ::  Apr 21, 2009 - 1:13AM #37
Urbanos_yeshurun
Posts: 1

my belief in Jesus and submission to his teachings along with the rest of the renewed covenant writers has caused me to be zealous for the most high El of Yisrael.  I have sobered up from traditional christian teachings, and have come to see that truly Messiah Yeshua is gravely misunderstood by common christian/catholic and jew alike.


Can i not convert and retain my faith in messiah? is that not the purpose of the tanak? to come to know the light of messiah?


Psa 40:7 Then I said, “See, I have come; In the scroll of the Book it is prescribed for me.


as it is written, Zec 8:23 “Thus said יהוה of hosts, ‘In those days ten men from all languages of the nations take hold, yea, they shall take hold of the edge of the garment of a man, a Yehuḏite, saying, “Let us go with you, for we have heard that Elohim is with you.” ʼ ”


Indeed those days are now more than ever before. allow me then to tug on the garment and follow on to Yerushalem.


Yeshua never taught himself to be worshiped as the almighty.
Yeshua never taught to destroy the torah, or to break any of the commands of Elohim.
Yeshua never taught to forsake the commands and eat pigs flesh and unclean animals.
Yeshua never taught that he was one part of three of the 'godhead'
Yeshua never profaned the shabbat, nor did he revile the chief cohen.
Yeshua brought light and rightly interpreted the meanings between the letters of torah.
Yeshua rightly faught for the zeal and integrity of the commands of Elohim, and rightly restored their authority above the traditions of the elders of his day.
Yeshua came, as promised, the one that would come after moses, that elohim would put his words in, and by which we would be held accountable to.
Yeshua never taught any foolish pagan custom, nor would he ever endorse the replacement theology of christians.
Yeshua esteemed the children of the house of Y'israel and Y'huddah above the gentiles
Yeshua never taught to dishonor the Sanhedrin.
Yeshua came into Yerushalem on the very day as was prophesied by Daniel, as Maschiach Nagid.  the only single time in history when his prophecy could have been properly interpreted.
as were all of the rest of the prophecies fulfilled in him. contrary to what the unbelievers say.
Yeshua is the one; they looked on whom they pierced.
Zec 12:10 “And I shall pour on the house of Dawiḏ and on the inhabitants of Yerushalayim a spirit of favour and prayers. And they shall look on Me whom they pierced, and they shall mourn for Him as one mourns for his only son. And they shall be in bitterness over Him as a bitterness over the first-born.
Yeshua is the Son, as was promised, and in my own witness here, the fulfillment of;Psa 2:7 “I inscribe for a law: יהוה has said to Me, ‘You are My Son, Today I have brought You forth.
Psa 2:8 ‘Ask of Me, and I make the gentiles Your inheritance, And the ends of the earth Your possession.

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9 years ago  ::  Apr 21, 2009 - 7:16AM #38
nieciedo
Posts: 5,617

Can i not convert and retain my faith in messiah? is that not the purpose of the tanak? to come to know the light of messiah?


No, at least not for Jews. The "purpose" of the Tanakh is to the serve as a collection of the Jewish people's foundational history, mythology, philosophy, and legislation.


There's pretty much nothing in it about "coming to know the light of messiah" (whatever that is supposed to mean).


If you convert to Judaism, you can of course believe in the coming of a Messiah or a Messianic Age -- but if you convert you can't also worship alien gods like Jesus, so no: you can't become a Jew and "retain your faith in messiah." That's like asking if you can become a Christian while retaining your faith in Vishnu and Shiva.


Your post has nothing to do with Judaism and really does not belong on this forum. Please take your proselytism elsewhere.

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9 years ago  ::  Apr 22, 2009 - 12:13PM #39
Happycat
Posts: 4

Hi, I have for most of my life felt pulled towards Judasim and a few years ago found out for the first time that my maternal grandfather was Jewish.  I stopped going to church aged 14 because I could not accept the divinity of Jesus, nor could I accept communion.  I cannot accept or believe in the basic tenets of Christianity and I feel the loss of shared worship and fellowship with others who believe in what I do.  I have a couple of Jewish friends I met online and they well me I am Jewish if I want to be.  But, I miss the being part of a group.


I have felt like this for the past 40 odd years and as I get older I feel I need some sort of formalisation but, I live in a community with few Jewish people in it.  My late father told me that I would be turned away 3 times, that study would be hard and long.  I feel lost and alone and would love a mentor or somebody to guide me.

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9 years ago  ::  Apr 22, 2009 - 8:44PM #40
ffb
Posts: 2,356

One thing to do is to put yourself into a group. By that I mean that you may want to find something more than a virtual community -- find the local Jewish Community center, the local YM-YWHA or any service oragnization that provides classes or outreach to inform and educate. One of the steps necessary in conversion is that you become part of the jewish community. Take that step; find a local synagogue and have a heart to heart with the rabbi. Don't rely on others' versions and visions of what you must do.

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