Important Announcement

See here for an important message regarding the community which has become a read-only site as of October 31.

 
Post Reply
Page 1 of 3  •  1 2 3 Next
Switch to Forum Live View Is there any disciplinary action taken....
9 years ago  ::  Nov 23, 2008 - 4:54AM #1
angeluv1107
Posts: 362
.... when a brother marries a sister who is not free to remarry? Is that a big no no? I mean, he was already demoted when he started dating her. What next? And what does Jehovah's word have to say about it?

Angel
Quick Reply
Cancel
9 years ago  ::  Nov 23, 2008 - 6:57PM #2
Nomi69
Posts: 6,731

angeluv1107 wrote:

.... when a brother marries a sister who is not free to remarry? Is that a big no no? I mean, he was already demoted when he started dating her. What next? And what does Jehovah's word have to say about it?

Angel





Hope you are doing well. We all missed you here. I can't answer your question, but did want to say hi....:)

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you".
Quick Reply
Cancel
9 years ago  ::  Nov 24, 2008 - 2:07PM #3
Parada4Jah
Posts: 413
[QUOTE=Nomi69;916086]Hope you are doing well. We all missed you here. I can't answer your question, but did want to say hi....:)[/QUOTE]

Same here.

Good to see you back on. Hope you are doing okay?

hugs,
P4J
Quick Reply
Cancel
9 years ago  ::  Nov 25, 2008 - 1:09AM #4
richardnak
Posts: 728
[QUOTE=angeluv1107;915065].... when a brother marries a sister who is not free to remarry? Is that a big no no? I mean, he was already demoted when he started dating her. What next? And what does Jehovah's word have to say about it?

Angel[/QUOTE]

Hi Angel,

I have seen your posts here before, but it has been a while.

First of all, was it the brother that was not free, or was it the sister?

Since you are a sister, I'll assume it was the brother that witheld the fact that he wasn't free to marry, when he entered into another marriage. According to Jesus words at Matt 5:32, the only scriptural grounds for remarriage is a case of gross immorality, adultry, or any form of porneia' outside the marriage, by either partner.

Now if a person forgives their mate of such an unloving act, and wants them to return, they are still not free to remarry. For this person to take another marriage partner when they are not scripturally free, makes their new mate an adulterer. For a brother do to this, is a disfellowshipping offense, because he has made another innocent person guilty of adultry, along with themself.

It also seems to me, that this marriage wasn't performed at the Kingdom Hall, because the elders wouldn't let such a marriage even take place there. (See question box, Nov 2008 KM)

This is a sad situation, and even if this sister didn't know he was not scripturally free, she should have found out beforehand, by checking with the elders from his congregation and doing some research on her own, by asking around the circuit about him.

Richardnak.
Quick Reply
Cancel
9 years ago  ::  Nov 28, 2008 - 9:45PM #5
angeluv1107
Posts: 362
[QUOTE=richardnak;918429]Hi Angel,

I have seen your posts here before, but it has been a while.

First of all, was it the brother that was not free, or was it the sister?

Since you are a sister, I'll assume it was the brother that witheld the fact that he wasn't free to marry, when he entered into another marriage. According to Jesus words at Matt 5:32, the only scriptural grounds for remarriage is a case of gross immorality, adultry, or any form of porneia' outside the marriage, by either partner.

Now if a person forgives their mate of such an unloving act, and wants them to return, they are still not free to remarry. For this person to take another marriage partner when they are not scripturally free, makes their new mate an adulterer. For a brother do to this, is a disfellowshipping offense, because he has made another innocent person guilty of adultry, along with themself.

It also seems to me, that this marriage wasn't performed at the Kingdom Hall, because the elders wouldn't let such a marriage even take place there. (See question box, Nov 2008 KM)

This is a sad situation, and even if this sister didn't know he was not scripturally free, she should have found out beforehand, by checking with the elders from his congregation and doing some research on her own, by asking around the circuit about him.

Richardnak.[/QUOTE]

Actually it is the sister who was not free to remarry. The brother was free to marry. Unfortunately he let himself fall for the sister despite the fact that he knew that she was not free to remarry. AS a warning, the brothers demoted him from being a ministerial servant. But this didn't not deter his wrong behavior and he went on to marry the sister despite the fact that she was not free under Jehovah's righteous standards to marry anyone ever again.

Actually while I was waiting on a reply, I heard that the brother has been disfelllowshipped. I have not heard anything concerning his new bride however. How in the world could  he make this situation right with Jehovah and with the brothers in charge in our congregation? This brother is truly an asset to the community and is as sweet and caring as could be. I do believe he made the wrong decision but can't help but to feel sad. WHat happens next? How can he make things right and be reinstated?

Love Angel
Quick Reply
Cancel
9 years ago  ::  Nov 28, 2008 - 10:00PM #6
angeluv1107
Posts: 362
[QUOTE=Nomi69;916086]Hope you are doing well. We all missed you here. I can't answer your question, but did want to say hi....:)[/QUOTE]

To all who I have missed

Hey you guys! It's great to be able to talk to you and hear from you. I have been having a rough time lately. I had minor surgery the beginning of last month and unfortunately any surgery for me is serious. As usual, My body responded badly to the surgery itself and sent me into a Sickle Cell Crisis. I was in the hospital for like two weeks. I had one doctor who was a sub for my trgular doctor, who treated me as if I were a frug addict. That's the normal treatment I get whn I am faced with doctors who are not familiar with me. He even went as far as to say that the amount of medicine that I take at home for my chronic and mostly unbearable pain was ridiculous. I will be so glad when the day comes when I and others like me don't have to hurt anymore. Living in pain is no way to live. Jehovah and His people are the only things that keep me going mentally and definitely spiritually. I love and miss you all. I will try to be on here more often.

Write me and let me know how you all are doing!!!!
Love
your sister
Angel
Quick Reply
Cancel
9 years ago  ::  Nov 29, 2008 - 12:41AM #7
anotherpaul
Posts: 2,702
[QUOTE=angeluv1107;924674]Actually it is the sister who was not free to remarry. The brother was free to marry. Unfortunately he let himself fall for the sister despite the fact that he knew that she was not free to remarry. AS a warning, the brothers demoted him from being a ministerial servant. But this didn't not deter his wrong behavior and he went on to marry the sister despite the fact that she was not free under Jehovah's righteous standards to marry anyone ever again.

Actually while I was waiting on a reply, I heard that the brother has been disfelllowshipped. I have not heard anything concerning his new bride however. How in the world could  he make this situation right with Jehovah and with the brothers in charge in our congregation? This brother is truly an asset to the community and is as sweet and caring as could be. I do believe he made the wrong decision but can't help but to feel sad. WHat happens next? How can he make things right and be reinstated?

Love Angel[/QUOTE]

Hi,

I am glad to see you also.

As to the brother and the sister, both should be DF'd not just the brother.

What will happen will be up to them. IF they show and express repentance over time, then they can be reinstated. However in the circumstances it may be a long time, so they do not get the impression they got away with something, with just a slap on the wrist as it were.

In one instance I know of it was 7 years before they were reinstated even though they were regularly attending meetings, avoiding any other wrong and expressing repentance.

I hope the people you are speaking of do make the needed changes, express genuine repentance and give valid evidence of it over time.
Quick Reply
Cancel
9 years ago  ::  Nov 29, 2008 - 5:15PM #8
angeluv1107
Posts: 362
[QUOTE=anotherpaul;924862]Hi,

I am glad to see you also.

As to the brother and the sister, both should be DF'd not just the brother.

What will happen will be up to them. IF they show and express repentance over time, then they can be reinstated. However in the circumstances it may be a long time, so they do not get the impression they got away with something, with just a slap on the wrist as it were.

In one instance I know of it was 7 years before they were reinstated even though they were regularly attending meetings, avoiding any other wrong and expressing repentance.

I hope the people you are speaking of do make the needed changes, express genuine repentance and give valid evidence of it over time.[/QUOTE]

Thank you for your advice and knowledge. I definitely needed it. This situation has gotten me heartbroken to say the least. I 'll reveal that some other time though.
But as far as I know, Only he has been disfellowshipped so far despite the fact that it was the woman that was not free to remarry. I will expand on it a little later.

Thanks for the help.
Love to all
your sister
Angel
Quick Reply
Cancel
8 years ago  ::  Jan 18, 2010 - 9:24PM #9
R'ynda
Posts: 14

I know a couple like this. His wife refused to be a wife to him, wouldnt cook, clean, render the marriage due, ridiculed him before others, and told him he was nothing, she even induced a miscarriage so that she would not have what she refered to as his "ugly little ------baby". The brother couldn't take it, left her and filed for divorce. But...he is told he is not free to marry and must remain single and celibate for the rest of his life.  That just does not seem loving to me. He is a sweet man with a loving heart and gentle manner. What comfort does he get in all this? He is deeply in love with a sister who IS divorced. (her husband left her for another woman whom he lives with openly and unashamedly)  Why can't two people who love each other get married? Please help me understand this.


LaRhonda

Quick Reply
Cancel
8 years ago  ::  Jan 18, 2010 - 9:50PM #10
Goodtobehomestill
Posts: 6,658

Actually, the greatest 'comfort' one can have, is in pleasing Jehovah and obeying his laws.  Jesus didn't leave any 'wiggle room' in what constituted a proper basis for divorce.  This nice brother married someone who evidently turned out to be mentally or emotionally ill.  (No well person behaves like that.)  He made a serious error in judgment in marrying her, unless she was a completely different person and her behavior has been caused by something recent, like a brain tumor or something.  Otherwise, there should have been signs his choice in mate was less than wise.  Often we do tend to blind ourselves to 'wise' in matters of the heart.


The fact that his marriage has turned out poorly however, does not change what Jesus said, there is only one proper basis for divorce that allows room to remarry.

“People are not disturbed by things, but by the views they take of them.”
― Epictetus

Life is like photography, you need a clear lens, and the picture you get depends on what you focus on.


Anger stems from irrational beliefs about others, anxiety stems from irrational beliefs about yourself.---Spencer Lord, The Brain Mechanic
Quick Reply
Cancel
Page 1 of 3  •  1 2 3 Next
 
    Viewing this thread :: 0 registered and 1 guest
    No registered users viewing
    Advertisement

    Beliefnet On Facebook