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Switch to Forum Live View What is your view on marrying non-adventists?
6 years ago  ::  Mar 03, 2008 - 3:21PM #1
kjangle
Posts: 1
Does the Seventh Day Adventist church have an official view on Adventists marrying others outside of the denomination?
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6 years ago  ::  Mar 04, 2008 - 1:28PM #2
sincerly
Posts: 4,049

kjangle wrote:

Does the Seventh Day Adventist church have an official view on Adventists marrying others outside of the denomination?



Hi kjangle, Welcome to the SDA Forums.
First, Not meaning to be critical, but for information. This question would have been more appropriately placed on the "Welcome to SDA" board where questions of a "learn about one's beliefs" is found.
However, I will gladly answer to the best of my ability and knowledge your inquiry.
Since the "seeker after GOD" comes in all age brackets/ranges, some may already be married and the spouse not wish to join the SDA church. That "Believing person" is not denied membership because of the "non-believing person".  Paul addresses this in 1Cor.7
Also, if the "unbelieving spouse" is abusive, one is not obligated to stay with such. However, the "believing spouse" is not free to remarry until that spouse either dies or commits adultery.

Where the young single SDA is contemplating marriage, the "denominational" position is one of counciling along the same lines as GOD instructed the Israelites and Paul as above advised.   Marry within the "Faith"/Beliefs given by GOD to those  who choose to be HIS PEOPLE.
If that young person was raised in a SDA family, one would expect and hope that he/she had been made aware of those dangers which GOD had pointed out to the Israelites and Paul  and Jesus had expressed in the Not to be unequally yoked with "unbelievers".

However, since all persons have freedom to choose---that includes a marriage partner---the church "advises based on the scriptures" and the individual "makes the bed in which he/she will lie"-----and reap whatever consequences comes from that decision.----Good or Bad.

You can find more concerning the subject(and others of our beliefs) by going to this site:
http://www.adventist.org/beliefs/fundamental/index.html

Peace,   Sincerly.      As long as sin is practiced, one will search for a means to validate the continuing therein. ANON

The greatest want of the world is the want of men--men who will not be bought or sold, men who in their inmost souls are true and honest, men who do not fear to call sin by its right name, men whose conscience is as true to duty as the needle to the pole, men who will stand for the right though the heavens fall.---- ANON  (Ellen G. White. 1882)
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6 years ago  ::  Mar 07, 2008 - 12:18AM #3
spudette
Posts: 959
I'd like to add this to Sincerly's posting: Adventist pastors aren't supposed to perform marriage ceremonies between an Adventist and a non-Adventist. Sometimes the non-Adventist studies our beliefs and decides to accept them, and requests baptism, sometimes not. In this case, if the couple still wants to get married, they may consider a civil ceremony, or a marriage ceremony in a church that doesn't have the same requirements as ours. I have never seen an SDA church family reject anyone's non-adventist spouse. The only difference between the two is that the non-adventist cannot hold a church office.
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6 years ago  ::  Mar 16, 2008 - 12:46PM #4
Grumpyturtle
Posts: 55
My husband and I were married almost 18 years ago at the Court house because  my husband was Baptist and I was SDA. The people the Pastor saw fit to marry in our church are divorced now and/or remarried to other people (from the church) so they were allowed to marry once again in our church. I am not bitter though. LOL! I just sort of find it a bit silly. We are both Christian and I think that should have been enough. He is now SDA and we could now be remarried or say our vows again in our church but whats the point?
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6 years ago  ::  Mar 25, 2008 - 4:38PM #5
sven
Posts: 2
Here is coming a very strange case!
I am born and raised in a SDA family. I got married with an adventist lady when I was 25 years; but after 5 years we got divorced, I was the one at fault. 7 years later I got married with a non-christian Japanese lady. In the time up to my second marriage, I went shortly to Hawaii as an exchange scholar, which in my case means half the world around since I am from Denmark. During my stay in Hawaii, I got re-baptized by pastor Bill Colburn. When I was going to plan for my second wedding I asked Pastor Colburn if he would come to Denmark to perform the wedding for us. He was more than happy to do so; but the local Danish pastor was very much against that we could get married in the church, we would be allowed to be blessed in the church not allowed to exchange the marriage wovs, since I have been married before and my coming wife was a non-christian; but thanks to Pastor Colburn we did it all in the church. Pastor Colburn was even very persisting that our wedding should be performed in the church. Every Sabbath my wife is joining me and attending church, now our son is one year and my wife is taking him to the toddlers Sabbathschool. She has not said anything about joining the SDA church as yet. But she is saying that she is very happy and pleased to attend the local SDA church.
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6 years ago  ::  Mar 31, 2008 - 7:11PM #6
Bohemianvegan
Posts: 16
About this topic, I may add, I don't like it when an Adventist marries a non-Adventist and expects that their spouse will join their church.  If they REALLY want an Adventist spouse, they should marry one. I have seen so many people crushed because their spouse didn't join the church when they hoped they would.  Attending church and taking Bible studies are not the same as a conversion, even though those can lead to one.  If we really want someone to convert for us, we can't call them converted until they make that stand for Jesus.

I just have to say, that no matter who we marry, we should always consult God.  We should pray for HIS will only, and not in a selfish way.  We need to be open to God telling us "no" so we won't try to just get what we want.
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6 years ago  ::  May 12, 2008 - 8:03PM #7
abbysenia
Posts: 117
The Adventist church doesn't endorse marrying outside the faith.  This is a suggestion though and not forbidden.  You won't be disfellowshiped for doing it.  The churches stance is not to marry non-believers to believers.  I think it's a very practical and prudent policy.  I'm very pleased that in turtle's case it turned out the way it did.  However, for every positive result there are negative results and in some cases just strange and unusual results...  I'll give a personal example.

My mother married my stepfather when I was about 8yrs old.  When we(My mother and we her two children) found him, he was studying Islam.  We introduced him to Adventism.  My mother wasn't, and isn't a devout Adventist.  He believes and accepts most of the tenets even though she doesn't follow them(another story...we've been praying for her for years).  Anyway, my step father was in a precarious situation.  He had several children from previous relationships that required child support.  The best job he could find at the time required work on the Sabbath.  They went to our pastor and the pastor counseled them.  My father wanted to marry my mother and she him.  However, my mother as a BAPTIZED Adventist couldn't be married by and Adventist minister to a Baptists.  My father was willing to convert, however, when the question of him keeping the Sabbath came up, he said that he couldn't do it because of his job situation.  Unlike some people, he told the truth about not honoring the Sabbath, but accepting it and the church declined fellowship because of that(That too is another story).

Well my mother was very, very upset about this, drastically reduced her church attendance which was spotty at best.  They went to his deceased mother's baptist church and were married by a Baptist minister.  There was not rejection from my family or members of the church.  It was simply an issue of church policy.  More than a few members of our church came to the wedding and brought gifts.

Fast forward several years into the future.  My mother said she should've listened to the pastor.  The marriage eventually failed.  My stepfather ended up joining the Adventist church and remarrying and Adventist woman.  My mother still rarely attends church.  My family in Kentucky happily receives my stepfather and his new wife when EVER they come to Kentucky.

I left a lot of details out...but the summary is still the same.  The believers introduced a non-believer to the faith.  The beilever's adherence was and is less than.  The two are now divorced and the non-believer is now and adherent believer.

GOD works in mysterious ways, and many times Church policy has nothing to do with it!

In my own opinion, I don't think it's wise to have two non-believers.  What I have found is that the person with the more stronger faith will generally influence the other to convert.  If they faiths are equally strong generally there will be no conversion.  I generally see women following their husband provided their husbands are religious.  I see husband following their wives EVENTUALLY...but that eventually may be several years down the line as I demonstrated.
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6 years ago  ::  May 26, 2008 - 11:07AM #8
Grumpyturtle
Posts: 55
You make an excellent point. My husband did not become a member for six years into the marrage. When we had our first child.
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6 years ago  ::  Jun 12, 2008 - 2:08PM #9
Aveverumcorpus
Posts: 1,002
So, let me get this straight...

If I marry an Adventist man, we can't get married in an SDA church because I'm an Epsicopalian?  :D

(Sometimes I just can't help myself! ROTFLMAO!!!!)
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6 years ago  ::  Jun 13, 2008 - 2:18PM #10
abbysenia
Posts: 117
Ave,

You are such a lunatic!:) If any gay man gets married in the Adventist church it will be ME!
After all I'm still in the church.
They won't marry you to an Adventist be you left us!:)  Think they are more concerned about that then you being gay!  Think about it....

You can be gay...but to reject Adventism!:)  Now that's another story!
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