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Switch to Forum Live View marrying a non-Witness, disfellowshipping, ect.
9 years ago  ::  Sep 10, 2009 - 7:06PM #31
Posts: 6,658

As a sister with an unbelieving mate, my friends at the Hall have never made me feel unforgiven.  I think sometimes if a person feels negative, they may project their own negative feelings on someone else.  If you feel guilty about something, you might assume someone is looking down their nose at you when they are just worried about their own concerns!  Sadly it is so easy to think we know what others are thinking, and I think we are rarely right.

I do know the Bible say Jehovah forgives completely.  That's good enough for me.

As far as the wisdom of marrying out of the Truth?  Don't do it!  Oh goodness it makes life hard.  Disagreements over money will be larger.  Where the brothers are given reminders not to do anything that might lead to jealousy on the wife's part, the unbelieving man may well  have a different set of boundaries in his friendships with women, and even if he does nothing really wrong! you may still suffer.

If you want to have to work twice as hard to keep up your spirituality, if you want extra 'drama' and uncertainty, go for it.  I don't recommend it, most heartily don't.

However.  Once you are this situation.. then you work with it.  You do as David did and pray for Jehovah to 'guard you from presumptuous acts.'  Ps 19:13  You constantly reexamine yourself and see if you are really doing all you can to preserve the marriage.. after all, you made a vow, and even if it is 'bad for yourself' Jehovah expects you to honor it.  Ps 15:4   You don't let any wishes for a different situation cause you to behave negatively...That would likely lead to 'presumptuous acts.'  I mean really.. if a woman wants a man to leave her she can get him to do it.  How treacherous the heart can be!  But the sister would then have to live with having been 'traitorous' and possibly having influenced another person to be immoral!

So any sisters in this situation.. be ever so careful.   Be ever so loving.  Draw ever closer to God and try ever harder to imitate him.  It'll be tough, but Jehovah can use it to make you an ever better servant of his.  Don't let Satan use this to get you down again.  Learn and grow.

And Cassie... if you are our true sister, I hope we are able to get to know you as such.  We all make missteps.  I practically never check profiles, you just weren't sounding very 'sisterly' in your post.  But if that isn't how you meant it I would be happy to know you.

“People are not disturbed by things, but by the views they take of them.”
― Epictetus

Life is like photography, you need a clear lens, and the picture you get depends on what you focus on.

Anger stems from irrational beliefs about others, anxiety stems from irrational beliefs about yourself.---Spencer Lord, The Brain Mechanic
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7 years ago  ::  Dec 27, 2010 - 12:26PM #32
Posts: 1

I realize this is an old thread, but as the "Unbelieving" (i.e. Non-Witness) spouse of one of Jehovah's Witnesses, I have to say that the comments here are disturbing at many levels

My wife and I have been married for over thirty years and have been very happy.  I've bent over backwards during that time to accommodate her beliefs. We've planned vacations around her summer conventions and I've even donated my professional services free of charge to the building of some of your Kingdom Halls.

When I was invited to JW gatherings, I honestly thought that I was accepted. Certainly not as a "Brother" but perhaps as a "Cousin" of sorts.

I'm wondering now if I've simply been fooling myself for a very long time....


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7 years ago  ::  Dec 28, 2010 - 12:12AM #33
Posts: 817


I guess I should probably read all posts before responding, but wanted to share my own personal situation in relation to yours.  I am a baptized witness and my husband is not.  Not only is he not a witness, but he studied for quite some time and then stopped.  Not because he doesn't believe in what I do, but he has stumbling blocks in his own life that he apparantly isn't ready to remove.  He sounds a lot like you do in the way he supports me and my faith.  He has ALWAYS been treated very well by the ones in the congregation.  Do I believe that the treatment is sincere?  Yes... I KNOW it is.  Please do not be discouraged.  I have no doubt that the way you are treated by the witnesses is sincere.  Not only do the witnesses care about my husband, but they were almost the only ones who visited him in the hospital when he had a very serious medical condition.  Very few of his family members outside of our home visited him...but a huge part of the congregation did.  In fact, the hospital had to put a sign on his door stating no more visitors!  They did not have to visit...but they did. 



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7 years ago  ::  Dec 28, 2010 - 10:20AM #34
Posts: 16,967

Dear Juliana and cereus,

This is just to let you know that although I am not a JW, nor do I have any personal relationship with any Jehovah's witnesses and therefore never participate on this board, as the board host I  do check in regularly and I appreciate well written, thoughtful, and meaningful posts like you two just put up.

I hope you get good replies from others soon.

Rangerken, Beliefnet Community Moderator

Libertarian, Conservative, Life member of the NRA and VFW
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7 years ago  ::  Jan 01, 2011 - 5:39AM #35
Posts: 14,082

We have had recent counsel at one of our meetings to warm up to unbelieving mates - i.e. for those in the congregation to do so.   This was counsel for all of Jehovah's Witnesses - not just our local congregation.  Hopefully someone else will post the details of that counsel.

If not, I will ask around at our special assembly day Sunday - I think it was in our Kingdom Ministry at our Service Meeting - one of the 5 meetings (on two days) we have each week.

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