Post Reply
Page 1 of 4  •  1 2 3 4 Next
Switch to Forum Live View marrying a non-Witness, disfellowshipping, ect.
6 years ago  ::  Dec 21, 2008 - 4:42PM #1
beg2differ
Posts: 3
OK I'm quite wordy just to warn everyone.

Quick background info: I'm Jacqui, almost 24, baptized at age 18 in 2003. Raised as a JW, both parents are as well. My dad committed adultery and got disfellowshipped for awhile and my mom and dad got divorced. My mother physically and emotionally abused me and I finally couldn't take it and moved out this March. I was doing pretty well spiritually but because of the abuse and having bipolar disorder I became more and more depressed to the point where I attempted suicide multiple times, ect and to this day I have it deeply ingrained that God no longer listens to my prayers and "hates" me although at least that part can't really be true...at least I don't think so.

Basically after being depressed for years and years (I became suicidal at age 8) I began to have a more and more negative attitude towards the truth. I mean, I knew it was the truth, but I no longer felt like doing it because I figured, "I'll be destroyed soon enough anyway so I may as well do what I want."

Well I met my boyfriend (who's now my fiance) online, which is obviously not a good idea for Christians to do but I didn't care anymore. He at the time didn't really have a religion although he had some opinionated beliefs and celebrated holidays.

I moved in with him in March of this year, he actually drove all the way to my state from Indiana to pick me up and take me with him away from my mother. Well, we had to stop at a motel on the way since it was a 16 hour drive and of course you can all guess what happened. I was surprised I felt so little guilt afterwards but then it began building up over time until I could barely function and I thought of leaving my then-boyfriend and going back to my hometown and the meetings again.

We moved to TX to live with his family after we got engaged and after some time I decided that this was definately the man I wanted to marry despite the fact that he became a Baptist soon after we moved here. His good qualities seemed to outweigh the fact that his beliefs were against mine.

I have some questions.

I haven't been to a meeting in several months. I'm not entirely sure how many because I would just go once in awhile on Sundays just for the talk and leave during the song. I've been avoiding going to meetings because eventually I'm going to have to go to the elders and I really don't want to be disfellowshipped but it's inevitable since I live with a man I'm not married to and I've committed fornication. (Since he became a Baptist we've decided not to anymore til we get married, hopefully in Feb. '09 but we shall see.) Basically my family lives all the way in New England and I can only communicate with them on the phone. If I became disfellowshipped they made it clear I could only call for emergencies or if something major happens like I get pregnant or something like that. Is there ANY possible way I can avoid being disfellowshipped? Like could I get reproved publicly or something instead? I seriously doubt it.

I am also afraid of being df'd because I have a feeling I might not be able to come back for awhile since I'm doing other things wrong. I attended my fiance's church for the first time today and he wants me to come every other Sunday with him and I agreed to it although I can't stand the things his pastor says like that Jesus is God and all that. But I agreed anyway. Another thing is I haven't explained much about my religion to my fiance's family and slowly I ended up going to some birthday parties (I didn't sing) and I'm about to be spending Christmas with his sister's family and exchanging gifts and such.

I've always felt like I'd be destroyed in Armageddon but lately I think about it constantly. Will I die if I go to church with my fiance and don't believe what they say and just sit there quietly? Will I die if I sort of celebrate holidays? Will I die if I marry a baptist? Can Jehovah see past the bipolar disorder and see the real me? I still feel like there's some good left in me. I can feel it, just by that fact that I do eventually want to come back. But I truly and honestly feel like His spirit has left me. I don't feel like he listens to my prayers anymore. I was praying last night and I suddenly felt like I was thinking instead of praying, like it was going unheard and I had a massive panic attack that nearly sent me to the hospital because of it. It was as though I could feel His spirit leaving me. Since then I've been feeling horribly uneasy but I feel like it's too late now to do anything about it.

I feel like Armageddon is so close that even if I did change it would be too late. I feel like the day I got baptized it was like a lie because I was not relying on Jehovah, instead I was cutting myself and planning to commit suicide soon after my baptism because I felt like I couldn't measure up to His standards. It's a vicious cycle, people.

I just want to  know if any of you have ever felt similar or if they knew any of the answers to my questions.

I'm so sorry this is so long.
Quick Reply
Cancel
6 years ago  ::  Dec 21, 2008 - 9:04PM #2
annakam
Posts: 99
well...i'm not sure if they'd disfellowship you for marrying a non-witness.....all i know is that they discourage it...they don't encourage us to marry outside of witnesses...

i honestly don't know if they'd disfellowship you for living with someone outside of marriage.....but i do have a suggestion if they do say that you are disfellowshipped if you continue to live with him outside of marriage...how about living in separate households...i'm not sure if you are living with him anymore (you said you stopped after he became a baptist...i don't know if you stopped living together and stopped having sex or you stopped having sex but still living together)

how about talking to your fiance about your beliefs....sit down with him have a lil bible study of what you belief with scriptures and things of that sort....
Quick Reply
Cancel
6 years ago  ::  Dec 21, 2008 - 10:08PM #3
Nomi69
Posts: 6,731
And let them take it to the local congregation, and someone(an elder)will be sent to help you...or contact the local congregation yourself.  While what you are doing is serious...the fact that you see it is, is in your favor. Yes, Jehovah looks for the good in us...but I would encourage you to seek assistance...because your guilt will likely increase. I wish you well. It does make it difficult when you love someone, to try and make the corrections we need...but it is better to do so now, rather then later.....If you do marry this person, are you sure he will not give you trouble over actively being a Witness? If he did do that, it is a hard way to live. I have been there and I know, it gets harder and harder to cope with.......:)
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you".
Quick Reply
Cancel
6 years ago  ::  Dec 21, 2008 - 11:54PM #4
anotherpaul
Posts: 2,702
Hi,

I hope that you can understand that I am posting because I care about you and Jehovah. I will be quite frank and direct, but I believe it is what you need to hear and know. It is not presented in any spirit of animosity, rather out of a real concern for your future happiness and relationship with Jehovah.

[QUOTE=beg2differ;970883]If I became disfellowshipped they made it clear I could only call for emergencies or if something major happens like I get pregnant or something like that. Is there ANY possible way I can avoid being disfellowshipped? Like could I get reproved publicly or something instead? I seriously doubt it.



Yep. leave the boy friend  and start attending meetings regularly. Avoiding being DF'd means you do not simply want to avoid it,  You need to be repentant (and it appears you are not at this point) showing repentance by actions (and you are not yet) and THEN approaching the elders.

I am also afraid of being df'd because I have a feeling I might not be able to come back for awhile since I'm doing other things wrong. I attended my fiance's church for the first time today and he wants me to come every other Sunday with him and I agreed to it although I can't stand the things his pastor says like that Jesus is God and all that. But I agreed anyway. Another thing is I haven't explained much about my religion to my fiance's family and slowly I ended up going to some birthday parties (I didn't sing) and I'm about to be spending Christmas with his sister's family and exchanging gifts and such.



You will have a miserable time with this man. You do NOT share the same beliefs. Either you will abandon what you believe completely or you will have constant friction in your marriage. Since you have already put your personal desires ahead of God's it will be easy to give in on other matters in the future.

I've always felt like I'd be destroyed in Armageddon but lately I think about it constantly. Will I die if I go to church with my fiance and don't believe what they say and just sit there quietly? Will I die if I sort of celebrate holidays? Will I die if I marry a baptist?



(Revelation 18:4) 4 And I heard another voice out of heaven say: “Get out of her, my people, if YOU do not want to share with her in her sins, and if YOU do not want to receive part of her plagues.

Can Jehovah see past the bipolar disorder and see the real me? I still feel like there's some good left in me. I can feel it, just by that fact that I do eventually want to come back.



Yes. but you need to show Him how much you want His favor and love. Right now you are putting a man who does not love Him ahead of your relationship with God.

I am sure there is good in you. The problem, is like Paul, you have a war going on inside you and you are giving aid to the wrong side. Your continued actions strengthen one side or the other. By favoring the man and staying with him, let alone attending church with him, you are helping the bad desires.

But I truly and honestly feel like His spirit has left me. I don't feel like he listens to my prayers anymore. I was praying last night and I suddenly felt like I was thinking instead of praying, like it was going unheard and I had a massive panic attack that nearly sent me to the hospital because of it. It was as though I could feel His spirit leaving me. Since then I've been feeling horribly uneasy but I feel like it's too late now to do anything about it.



If you feel that way it is unlikely God has left you. However it is an indication that YOU know you are doing wrong. It is time to listen to your conscience, not your heart. The heart is treacherous and will betray you right now. Only when you no longer care, can it be said God has probably withdrawn from you.

I feel like Armageddon is so close that even if I did change it would be too late. I feel like the day I got baptized it was like a lie because I was not relying on Jehovah, instead I was cutting myself and planning to commit suicide soon after my baptism because I felt like I couldn't measure up to His standards. It's a vicious cycle, people.[/q]

Armageddon may come soon, it may not. The more important thing is how you feel and also how you are making God feel.

Think of what happens if you give in further to your potential husband and he uses that against God? He can say; "look I saved another JW from that terrible organization". That would make Satan feel very good and God feel very bad. I do not believe that is what you want.

I just want to  know if any of you have ever felt similar or if they knew any of the answers to my questions..[/QUOTE]

Yep, many have. Some have changed their actions and have been welcomed back by the congregation. Other have chosen what they want and have lost the association they really need; with Jehovah.

The fact that you can reason on this shows you have the ability to make the decision. the question is really do you want to or are you looking for an excuse to do what you want and say it is because of you bi-polar or because Jehovah has left you, etc. That is a shifting of blame and will NOT help you in the long run. You will NOT have a good marriage if you continue in this course.

Your situation is quite common. many face up to it and take the needed, though admittedly hard, steps to do what Jehovah wants. Others do not and feel bad for a longgggggg time.

I made a wrong choice many years ago. Yes I did get out of it and turned back to Jehovah, but I still feel the pain. However if I had stayed it would have been much worse than it is now. I am thankful I did so and figure any suffering I may have now (43 years later) is deserved. The joy I have in my life now makes that "pain" of minimal consequence. It is just enough to help me avoid being stupid again.

You can do it.

Will you?

Jehovah will help you with the proper course to follow if you really want His help.

Quick Reply
Cancel
6 years ago  ::  Dec 25, 2008 - 6:37AM #5
annakam
Posts: 99
This is the whole September 1, 2008, Watchtower article that I thought would be of interest to you Beg2differ...i hope this helps

CONSIDER THE "END AFTERWARD"


Life's journey presents us with many choices.  Surely it is the course of wisdom to try to find out what is at the end of any road before we take the first step along it.  Some have bitterly regretted decisions that they have made.  Perhaps you too have said, "If only I had known how this was going to turn out, I would never have started it in the first place."

            An experienced traveler wants to know where each road leads.  He may consult a map and talk to people who know the area.  He will certainly take note of signposts he encounters along the way.  On life's journey, though, how can you be sure which is the best path to take?  Regarding the people of ancient Israel, God once said through Moses: "O that they were wise!  Then they would ponder over this.  They would consider their end afterward." – Deuteronomy 32:39.


The Best Advice

            We do not need to be in doubt as to the "end afterward" of the paths that life's journey may offer.  From his vantage point, God is in a unique position to advise all human travelers about the best road to take.  He has seen the many ways that humans have traveled and has observed the outcome.  The Bible says: "The ways of man are in front of the eyes of Jehovah, and he is contemplating all his tracks." – Proverbs 5:21.

            Jehovah cares for those who love him.  By means of his Word, the Bible, he maps out the best path for them.  We read: "I shall make you have insight and instruct you in the way you should go.  I will give advice with my eye upon you."  So before you take the first step down any road, it is wise to seek Jehovah's advice, as did King David of ancient Israel, who prayed: "Make known to me the way in which I should walk." – Psalms 32:8; 143:8.

            Following the route indicated by a trusted, experienced traveler can give you a sense of confidence and security.  You do not worry about where the path is leading.  David asked for and followed Jehovah's guidance and direction.  As a result, he enjoyed a peace of mind that is beautifully expressed in the famous 23rd Psalm.  David wrote: "Jehovah is my Shepherd.  I shall lack noting.  In grassy pastures he makes me lie down; by well-watered resting places he conducts me.  My soul he refreshes.  He leads me in the tracks of righteousness for his name's sake.  Even though I walk in the valley of deep shadow, I fear nothing bad." – Psalms 23:1 – 4.



What Will Be Their Future?

            One traveler on life's journey, a psalmist who was either Asaph or one of his descendents, admitted that he "almost turned aside" from the right way.  What had happened?  He had seen the prosperity of the dishonest and violent ones and had envied the "peace of wicked people."  To him, they seemed to be "at ease indefinitely."  What is worse, the psalmist had begun to doubt the wisdom of following the path of righteousness that he had chosen.  – Psalms 73: 2, 3, 6, 12, 13.

            Then the psalmist entered Jehovah's sanctuary and prayerfully thought about the destiny of the wicked.  "I wanted to discern their future," he said.  He meditated on the prospects of those whom he envied.  What would be their future?  He realized that such people were "on slippery ground" and would be "brought to their finish through sudden terrors!"  What of the path that the psalmist himself was taking?  He acknowledged: "Afterward you (Jehovah) will take me even to glory." – Psalms 73:17 – 19, 24.

            Reflecting on the consequences of the actions of those who achieve prosperity through expedient or questionable dealings reassured the psalmist that he was on the right path.  He concluded: "As for me, the drawing near to God is good for me."  Keeping close to Jehovah God always results in lasting benefits. – Psalms 73:28.



"Know Where You Are Headed"

            Similar choices may confront us today.  You may be offered an attractive business contract, a promotion, or an invitation to become a partner in a profitable venture.  Of course, there is an element of risk in any new undertaking.  Even so, can you not see the value of first considering what the "end afterward" of your choice might be?  What are the likely consequences?  Will you be required to be away from home, potentially creating stress for your spouse or for yourself?  Will you be exposed to unwholesome company with business associates or those in hotels and elsewhere?  By taking a close look at the road ahead, you will be able to make a wise decision.  Heed Solomon's advice: "Know where you are headed." – Proverbs 4:26, Contemporary English Version.

            All of us do well to ponder that counsel, but especially should young people do so.  One young man rented a video that he knew featured sexually stimulating scenes.  He later related that after viewing the video, he felt so aroused that he sought out a prostitute, whom he knew to be living nearby.  He ended up with a heavy heart, a guilty conscience, and anxiety over possible disease.  What occurred was exactly as described in the Bible: "All of a sudden he is going after her, like a bull that comes even to the slaughter."  If only he had considered the "end afterward"! – Proverbs 7:22, 23.



Trust the Signposts

            Most people would agree that it is unwise to ignore signposts.  Sadly, though, that is what some do on the road through life when the direction given does not fit their personal preference.  Consider the case of certain Israelites in the time of Jeremiah.  The nation was at a crossroads, and Jehovah God advised them: "Ask for the roadways of long ago, where, now, the good way is; and walk in it."  But the people stubbornly responded that they were "not going to walk" that way.  (Jeremiah 6:16) What was the "end afterward" of their rebellious course?  In 607 B.C.E., the Babylonians came and completely destroyed the city of Jerusalem and took its inhabitants to Babylon as captives.

            Ignoring the signposts that God has set up will never work for our good.  The Scriptures urge us: "Trust in Jehovah with all your heart and do not lean upon your own understanding.  In all your ways take notice of him, and he himself will make your paths straight." – Proverbs 3:5, 6.

            Some of God's warnings are like "Do Not Enter" signs.  For instance, the Bible says: "Into the path of the wicked ones do not enter, and do not walk straight on into thw way of the bad ones." (Proverbs 4:14) Among such harmful paths is the one described at Proverbs 5:3, 4: "As a honeycomb the lips of a strange woman keep dripping, and her palate is smoother than oil.  But the aftereffect from her is as bitter as wormwood; it is as sharp as a two-edged sword."  To some, an immoral relationship – whether with a prostitute or anyone else – may appear exciting.  But ignoring "Do Not Enter" signs that should regulate moral conduct can lead only to disaster.

            Before taking the first step down such road, ask yourself, "Where is this leading me?"  Just pausing to contemplate the potential "end afterward" may suffice to prevent you from taking a course that can have serious consequences.  AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancies, abortions, ruined relationships, and guilty consciences litter the path of those who have chosen to ignore such signposts.  The end of the road for those practicing immorality is clearly stated by the apostle Paul.  They "will not inherit God's kingdom." – 1 Corinthians 6:9, 10.



"This Is the Way"

            Sometimes it is difficult to see where a path is taking us.  How thankful we are, therefore, for God's loving concern and clear direction!  "This is the way," Jehovah has said, "walk in it, you people." (Isaiah 30:21) What is at the end of the path that Jehovah is showing us?  Though the path is narrow and difficult, Jesus said that it leads to life everlasting. – Matthew 7:14.

            Take a moment to think about the path along which you are traveling.  Is the right one?  Where is it headed?  Seek Jehovah's guidance in prayer.  Consult the 'road map,' the Bible.  You may even feel the need to consult an experienced traveler, one who has been endeavoring to walk in God's way.  If you thus see the need to change direction, do so quickly.

            A traveler is often encouraged when he sees a signpost that reassures him that he is on the right road.  If an examination of your course in life reveals that you are walking the path of the righteous, be encouraged to continue.  The most rewarding part of the journey lies just ahead. – 2 Peter 3:13.

            Every path leads somewhere.  When you reach the end of the course that you have chosen, where will you be?  Little will be gained by standing there wishing, 'Oh, if only I had chosen another way!'  So before taking your next step down the path of life, ask yourself, 'What is going to be the "end afterward"?'
Quick Reply
Cancel
6 years ago  ::  Dec 25, 2008 - 7:29AM #6
annakam
Posts: 99
Remember Jacqui...that you became baptized....I have to say ALL people wanting to draw close to Jehovah the baptized and the unbaptized ppl of Jehovah are all targets for Satan the devil...the unbaptized can be just as dedicated to Jehovah just as the baptized...when you got baptized though you publicly declared your devotion to Jehovah in front of tons of people...especially Jehovah, Jesus, and Satan...but all 3 knew you were dedicated to Jehovah even before you got baptized...i'm not sure which publication i read it at but when we get baptized we are even more targets of Satan...we publicly declare to the public that we are Jehovah's people...and Satan wants to see us fall so we can dirty up Jehovah's name....
         I'm not positive...maybe another Jehovah's Witness can help with this one...but I think there is a scripture in the Bible that says after Jesus was baptized Satan tested him...did Satan test him before he was baptized i'm not 100 percent positive...


I've been studying off -and -on with Jehovah's Witnesses since 1989....i never doubted once that was i was being taught was the truth....i knew it was the truth....but i had weaknesses just like you....i went into churches after knowing about Jehovah and being in his Kingdom Hall..and after one visit at the churches i never went back...I've been with worldly men and all of them lead to nothing.....and each was worser than the last....my break up with my last boyfriend opened my eyes finally to what i was doing....but before i got with him in the first place though i had an inner warning so to speak....at first i didn't want the relationship with this man...he was nice and everything...but something wasn't right...usually when something is not right with me my insides harden...that's the same feeling i had before i got with him and that's the same feeling i had the night before he broke up with me...and i didn't know why i had these feelings...i didn't know what was to come....all i know is that they were warning signs...and i see why they were warning signs but not after experiencing them...this man was my longest relationship i've had in my life, 8 months....and then i'm back to nothing to show for it....but then again do I?  I believe yes I do have something to show for it....that with the ending of that relationship I began to realize whose love I've had all along even when I didn't know about him...even when I continuously would walk away from his love and go my way....I still remembered Jehovah and Jesus....and instead of putting all my time and energy into worldly men now,  I'm putting the same time and energy plus more into serving Jehovah and i'm not stopping.....i know that there will be challenges coming to me especially when i get baptized....but when those come i know i have tons of support especially with Jehovah that will help me to overcome them...
Quick Reply
Cancel
6 years ago  ::  Dec 27, 2008 - 3:33PM #7
anonpls
Posts: 9
I don't know who you think you are "anotherpaul" but you are being quite harsh.  Recently, I have had many dealings with the elders, mostly through no fault of my own and most likely they will tell her to either marry him or leave him.  They are not going to disfellowship someone who is repentant.  I had a close personal friend who recently became an elder tell me it doesn't matter what someone does, if they are repentant, they will not be disfellowshipped.You act like you already know she is going to be disfellowshipped. It seems to me like she has had quite a hard life already and has a conscience and that is what elders have to determine, the difference between "weakness and wickedness."  Basically if she lives with him w/o marrying him and comes back to the meetings she will be df'ed.  If she marries and comes back to the truth she probably won't be.
Quick Reply
Cancel
6 years ago  ::  Dec 28, 2008 - 12:33AM #8
anotherpaul
Posts: 2,702
[QUOTE=anonpls;980701]I don't know who you think you are "anotherpaul" but you are being quite harsh.  Recently, I have had many dealings with the elders, mostly through no fault of my own and most likely they will tell her to either marry him or leave him.  They are not going to disfellowship someone who is repentant.  I had a close personal friend who recently became an elder tell me it doesn't matter what someone does, if they are repentant, they will not be disfellowshipped.You act like you already know she is going to be disfellowshipped. It seems to me like she has had quite a hard life already and has a conscience and that is what elders have to determine, the difference between "weakness and wickedness."  Basically if she lives with him w/o marrying him and comes back to the meetings she will be df'ed.  If she marries and comes back to the truth she probably won't be.[/QUOTE]

Hi,

I am sorry you feel I am being harsh. That was not my intent.

Yes they may suggest she leave him or marry him, in some cases. However in her note she did not indicate she was planning on leaving him. If she doesn't then, she will be DF'd. If she does she could still be DF'd, depending on other factors. I do not have enough info and do not need to hear it, to address that aspect.

My purpose in posting was to give her a realistic assessment of her position. Having served for many years as an elder I know the least favorable thing I can do for someone is to minimize the problem. I have dealt with similar situations as hers, and generally unless she takes the first step and leaves, she will not do well.

If she marries him, she may not be DF'd, or she may. After all marrying an unbeliever, while not a DF'ing offense does show disrespect for Jehovah's direction and brings into question any repentance. Especially when he is trying to turn her away from the congregation. I was trying to give her good and realistic advice. Marrying an opposed unbeliever is never wise.

I agree that there is a difference between weakness and wickedness, but you can be DF'd for weakness if you do NOT repent and SHOW genuine repentance.

I am worried about her, but want her to know what is the reality of her situation so she she will know what she needs to do.

Beyond being someone who cares for others, including her, I am no one special.
Quick Reply
Cancel
6 years ago  ::  Dec 28, 2008 - 1:27AM #9
anonpls
Posts: 9
How old are you? Are you still an elder?  I am asking because it seems in recent years the elders are not as quick to disfellowship as they used to be.  Maybe there is a new editiion of the elder's book out or something,  I don't know and don't take that as sarcasm.  I guess whether someone is disfellowshipped or not could depend on what committee handles the case because as of the most recent information I have been given by the elders it does not matter if you murder 20 people as long as you are repentant.  In fact, my ex-husband committed adultery multiple times up until the night before his committee meeting and because of his show of repentance the elders actually told me although they thought they would have to disfellowship him they didn't because they did not see a "wicked man"  but instead a weak one.  He was privately reproved.  Unfortunately, he committed adultery again the next day.  Needless to say at his next meeting with them he was disfellowhipped.  Don't think I am bitter about it, I loved my husband and still do.  If he had wanted to stay married I would have, I never wanted to divorce him.  I have talked to many elders since then.  One just basically  told me some committees are too "harsh" and some committees are to " lenient."  Our circuit overseer just gave a talk on the importance of not dwelling on past errors, espicially if we were disfellowshipped at one time.  He, in his own words, said "perhaps we were repentant but the elders didn't think we were."  We all know no one is perfect, but I have learned enough over the past couple of years to realize that it absolutely does come down to "weakness or wickedness" as to why one should be disfellowshipped and I know actions speak louder than words.  The fact that she feels bad is apparent.  Do you know anything about bipolar?  It is a terrible disease.  Thank goodness in the end no "human being" will determine our individual fate.
Quick Reply
Cancel
6 years ago  ::  Dec 28, 2008 - 7:20PM #10
Nomi69
Posts: 6,731

anonpls wrote:

How old are you? Are you still an elder? I am asking because it seems in recent years the elders are not as quick to disfellowship as they used to be. Maybe there is a new editiion of the elder's book out or something, I don't know and don't take that as sarcasm. I guess whether someone is disfellowshipped or not could depend on what committee handles the case because as of the most recent information I have been given by the elders it does not matter if you murder 20 people as long as you are repentant. In fact, my ex-husband committed adultery multiple times up until the night before his committee meeting and because of his show of repentance the elders actually told me although they thought they would have to disfellowship him they didn't because they did not see a "wicked man" but instead a weak one. He was privately reproved. Unfortunately, he committed adultery again the next day. Needless to say at his next meeting with them he was disfellowhipped. Don't think I am bitter about it, I loved my husband and still do. If he had wanted to stay married I would have, I never wanted to divorce him. I have talked to many elders since then. One just basically told me some committees are too "harsh" and some committees are to " lenient." Our circuit overseer just gave a talk on the importance of not dwelling on past errors, espicially if we were disfellowshipped at one time. He, in his own words, said "perhaps we were repentant but the elders didn't think we were." We all know no one is perfect, but I have learned enough over the past couple of years to realize that it absolutely does come down to "weakness or wickedness" as to why one should be disfellowshipped and I know actions speak louder than words. The fact that she feels bad is apparent. Do you know anything about bipolar? It is a terrible disease. Thank goodness in the end no "human being" will determine our individual fate.



I think maybe you concluded a wrong  impression of AP a little too fast. AP is a very understanding, and nice person. He always tries to be one to see thru a situation and come to a "best" conclusion. I know AP from us being here for a fairly long while now. AND I hate for you to mistake him as being "harsh". I never see him intentionally hurting anyone. Always polite, and he is always a very kind, and considerate person...so I hope this helps you to see him a bit differently......Regards....:)

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you".
Quick Reply
Cancel
Page 1 of 4  •  1 2 3 4 Next
 
    Viewing this thread :: 0 registered and 1 guest
    No registered users viewing
    Advertisement

    Beliefnet On Facebook