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Switch to Forum Live View OMG! I'm a Bad Muslim!
2 years ago  ::  Jun 24, 2012 - 1:48AM #1
Miraj
Posts: 5,020
Alas, my list of zina is long and horrible.

I haven't forced anyone to convert to Islam, (in fact, I don't even proselytize).  

My practice of dhimmitude is limited to my parenting of my young son, Aden.  

I haven't taken to the airwaves to denounce other religions.  In fact, I rather like that we're not all the same.

When all of my siblings converted out of Islam, I let them all live.

I not only let my daughter go to college, I paid for her tuition, books and computers.

I didn't subject her to FGM.

OMG!  I married a Christian man.  I forgot I was supposed to hate him!  Or, stone him!

The only bombs I make is when I try to tell jokes.  The only bombs I've handled are cherry bombs.

I hire Jews and pay them well.  They are safe with me.

I've never raped anyone.

I don't believe in the Protocals of Zion.

I have no desire to impose sharia on anyone.  

I'm not a terrorist.

It's probably the last thing that makes me the saddest, knowing that I'm betraying my faith so badly because all the good Muslims are terrorists of some kind.

Please forgive me for my lack of motivation.  It seems that I didnt have righteous teachers of Islam.  They were too nice.

Feel free to list your nafs here, fellow slackers.  I get the feeling that there are a lot of bad Muslims in the world.
 
Disclaimer: The opinions of this member are not primarily informed by western ethnocentric paradigms, stereotypes rooted in anti-Muslim/Islam hysteria, "Israel can do no wrong" intransigence, or the perceived need to protect the Judeo-Christian world from invading foreign religions and legal concepts.  By expressing such views, no inherent attempt is being made to derail or hijack threads, but that may be the result.  The result is not the responsibility of this member.


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2 years ago  ::  Jun 24, 2012 - 3:05AM #2
BDboy
Posts: 5,163

Smile Glad to have you among us. God is great!!


You are only "Bad" to specific Islamophobe non-Muslims.


In fact most Muslims are like you and it's all good...

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2 years ago  ::  Jun 24, 2012 - 9:14AM #3
browbeaten
Posts: 2,946

We can only hope that you can pass on these ideals to the millions of other Muslims who are not like you.


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2 years ago  ::  Jun 24, 2012 - 11:06AM #4
rocketjsquirell
Posts: 15,303

Miraj


What you list only indicates that on a personal level you are a basically good person. I do not think that anyone would argue that being a basically good person would make one a bad Muslim. I think the argument would be that being a basically good person would make one a good Muslim (or a good most everything else). But, what do I know?

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2 years ago  ::  Jun 24, 2012 - 6:43PM #5
visio
Posts: 3,232

Jun 24, 2012 -- 1:48AM, Miraj wrote:

Alas, my list of zina is long and horrible.

I haven't forced anyone to convert to Islam, (in fact, I don't even proselytize).  

My practice of dhimmitude is limited to my parenting of my young son, Aden.  

I haven't taken to the airwaves to denounce other religions.  In fact, I rather like that we're not all the same.

When all of my siblings converted out of Islam, I let them all live.

I not only let my daughter go to college, I paid for her tuition, books and computers.

I didn't subject her to FGM.

OMG!  I married a Christian man.  I forgot I was supposed to hate him!  Or, stone him!

The only bombs I make is when I try to tell jokes.  The only bombs I've handled are cherry bombs.

I hire Jews and pay them well.  They are safe with me.

I've never raped anyone.

I don't believe in the Protocals of Zion.

I have no desire to impose sharia on anyone.  

I'm not a terrorist.

It's probably the last thing that makes me the saddest, knowing that I'm betraying my faith so badly because all the good Muslims are terrorists of some kind.

Please forgive me for my lack of motivation.  It seems that I didnt have righteous teachers of Islam.  They were too nice.

Feel free to list your nafs here, fellow slackers.  I get the feeling that there are a lot of bad Muslims in the world.
 



Only THAT ONE you are going to meet, with certainty, after the last breath of this lifetime, will determine wether what you have listed complied to to the Divine Requirements as preset on the mirrored template of your soul.  Good or bad would be decided by what you have left behind i.e the separated complex of subtle spirit/mind body and the course physical body for other people to inherit.   If the course physical body was filled with cancers of any kind, then THAT ONE Allahswt would have to generate another Light of Adam to make correction.  If the subtle spirit/mind was also bad, then another bani-Israel would be born on earth to cause meat to decay. [Please don't get me wrong.   Bani-Israel, here, doesn't mean Jews. It simply means a spirit in the Jinn Kingdom would be regenerated as a soul and attached to an offspring of man to be born by a preselected unlucky woman].   So, the whole message of of the Al-Quran is for the humanity to serve itself in the context of both human bodily rights and human spiritual/mind right for the good of the soul. And ALLAHswt would only let a dynamic moving volume of 70, 000 good souls (that have become true angels) at the end of the pipeline where the Gate of the Divine Kingdom at any moment in earthly time enter first.  A true good muslims would be those who make up those 70,000 true angels.  And the good news for Muslim as proclaimed in Muhammadsaw's Isra' & Mi'raj (Earthly and heavenly ascension), Musasaw (Moses) himself declared, when their souls met, in the Grace of ALLAHswt, that the followers of this youth, i.e. Muhammadsaw, would make up a substantial portion of the 70,000.  What this indicate is that what are given by ALLAHswt as given in the Al-Quran tools and training procedure to make  Muslims, as individual and community, as the leading packs in the whole bikaton to the Gate of ALLAHswt.  If one realises that he/she hasn't fully used them and feel that they are bad Muslims, there shouldn't be any regret and despair.  As long as you have the breath, there are always time for a ......changing (thanks Bob, I mean Dylan). 


I am sorry for this consciousness rubbish (as someone was insinuating in another thred). Olanzapine could never work on me, nor the zydis on my son.   Some scruplous intellectuals/neuro scientists, somewhere, sure are making money, for their peer reviewed recommendations.  The new millineneum would need more (bad) jinn busters.  Ha! Ha! Ha!

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2 years ago  ::  Jun 25, 2012 - 4:46AM #6
Ibn
Posts: 4,453

Jun 24, 2012 -- 1:48AM, Miraj wrote:

Alas, my list of zina is long and horrible.


I have no list but I am still a bad Muslim.

Jun 24, 2012 -- 1:48AM, Miraj wrote:

I haven't forced anyone to convert to Islam, (in fact, I don't even proselytize).


I am a bad Muslim because I haven't converted anyone to Islam so far because if they want to go to hell I should not be stopping them as that is their human right.   

Jun 24, 2012 -- 1:48AM, Miraj wrote:

My practice of dhimmitude is limited to my parenting of my young son, Aden.


My list is longer; half a dozen children and a dozen grandchildren. I am a bad Muslim for producing so many children.  

Jun 24, 2012 -- 1:48AM, Miraj wrote:

I haven't taken to the airwaves to denounce other religions.  In fact, I rather like that we're not all the same.


I am a bad Muslim because I say that Islam is the best religion. I will be regarded a good Muslim if I say that there is forced conversion in Islam.

Jun 24, 2012 -- 1:48AM, Miraj wrote:

When all of my siblings converted out of Islam, I let them all live.


When my daughter began to wear head scarf (hijab), it was here own choice. I didn't think it was necessary to do so in UK but she convinced me that it was the right thing to do. I must be a bad Muslim for being convinced by a girl. 

Jun 24, 2012 -- 1:48AM, Miraj wrote:

I not only let my daughter go to college, I paid for her tuition, books and computers.


I must be a bad Muslim because two of my daughters are now teaching in schools after graduation (both wear hijab). One has decided to leave her teaching job in UK and is migrating to Dubai with her husband and one son. She is sick of being seen as a terrorist since she began to wear hijab.   

Jun 24, 2012 -- 1:48AM, Miraj wrote:

I didn't subject her to FGM.


Me too! That makes me too a bad Muslim.

Jun 24, 2012 -- 1:48AM, Miraj wrote:

OMG!  I married a Christian man.  I forgot I was supposed to hate him!  Or, stone him!


I never married a woman from people of the book because they do not believe, and no church will allow such a marriage. If her religion makes her marrying me illegal then she can't marry me whilist she remains one of the people of the book.    


Jun 24, 2012 -- 1:48AM, Miraj wrote:

The only bombs I make is when I try to tell jokes.  The only bombs I've handled are cherry bombs.


Only the bad Muslims make and use bombs. Only the good non-muslims make and use bombs. I am a bad Muslim for not making and using bombs.

Jun 24, 2012 -- 1:48AM, Miraj wrote:

I hire Jews and pay them well.  They are safe with me.


Jews have bought products that I have made. Jews have also sat alongside me in governing body meetings. They have all been nice people. Even rocketjsquirrel would be nice to me if finds out that I am a bad Muslim.

Jun 24, 2012 -- 1:48AM, Miraj wrote:

I've never raped anyone.


Nor have I.

Jun 24, 2012 -- 1:48AM, Miraj wrote:

I don't "believe" in the Protocals of Zion.


Nor am I a believer. That makes me bad...

Jun 24, 2012 -- 1:48AM, Miraj wrote:

I have no desire to impose sharia on anyone.


Sharia can only be imposed on Muslims. No person has ever imposed Sharia on me. I must be a bad Muslim.  

Jun 24, 2012 -- 1:48AM, Miraj wrote:

I'm not a terrorist.


I must be a terrorist because non-muslims look at me as a terrorist (because to them I am a Muslim}. In the eyes of Muslims, I am a bad Muslim because I am in jihad with my nafs instead of with kuffar. I am a bad Muslim in the eyes of kuffar because I am in jihad. Totally, I am a bad Muslim.  

Jun 24, 2012 -- 1:48AM, Miraj wrote:

It's probably the last thing that makes me the saddest, knowing that I'm betraying my faith so badly because all the good Muslims are terrorists of some kind.


Actually, what makes me so sad about me being a bad Muslim is that I will miss all those virgins with lovely eyes no matter what I do; win the jihad or commit suicide.

Jun 24, 2012 -- 1:48AM, Miraj wrote:

Please forgive me for my lack of motivation.  It seems that I didnt have righteous teachers of Islam.  They were too nice.


Forgive me for not knowing anything about religion. I had no religious teachers except my dad who taught me only how to pray in Arabic. Since then, the only teachers I have had (particularly on Beliefnet during the last 12 years) have been the non-muslims.

My new Muslim neighbour is so noisy. I must be a bad Muslim for not being noisy. Now I know where the hell is; living next door to a noisy Muslim.


I went to mosque the other day and saw a Muslim looking at mosque decoration whilist praying. I must be a bad Muslim because I don't do that.


I don't belong to any sect. I am not going to paradise because you have to belong to one sect out of 73. Every Muslim is part of a sect that is going to paradise. I must be a bad Muslim.


My list is also very long but I am tired of carrying on in this post.


Also, wife needs something and I must meet her need unlike all good Muslims.

I know one thing: There are a billion Islamic people in the world today, and there will be about 2 billion by the time we're dead. They're not going to give up their religion.
(Chris Matthews)
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2 years ago  ::  Jun 25, 2012 - 5:38AM #7
Lilwabbit
Posts: 2,834

Dearest Ibn and Miraj,


Now all my fears about you are confirmed. Your crime records are truly damning. At least the proper Muslims wear explosive belts with ball-bearings wherever they walk just in case a bus full of innocent schoolchildren drives by. The Qur'án so clearly commands it. Maybe both of you are just pretending. Maybe you are good Muslims after all. Perhaps Ibn is an Al-Qa'ida recruiter when he is not busy tending to his gorgeous rose gardens and obeying his wife. And I'm sure Miraj has a long beard and wears a Sikh turban, the typical Muslima that she is.


I also must be a good Muslim because people often think I'm a terrorist and do not know I'm actually a bad Bahá'í.


LilWabbit

"All things have I willed for you, and you too, for your own sake."
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2 years ago  ::  Jun 25, 2012 - 10:01AM #8
Ibn
Posts: 4,453

Dear Lilwabbit,


I am quite confident that you are more a Muslim than many of the so-called Muslims. This is because you have often been correctly thought of as a Muslim even on Judaism board.


One only has to mention the word "Qur'an" or even try to defend innocent Muslims and that person becomes a Muslim as first step, and terrorist the next step.


If you grow a beard it would be a clear proof that you are a terrorist. I have no beard because I don't want to be found a terrorist. This way I may never be suspected of being a bad Muslim even if I am a bad Muslim.


Kind regards


Ibn 

I know one thing: There are a billion Islamic people in the world today, and there will be about 2 billion by the time we're dead. They're not going to give up their religion.
(Chris Matthews)
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2 years ago  ::  Jun 25, 2012 - 10:29AM #9
chevy956
Posts: 1,948

Muslims pretending to be victims is possibly the funniest thing I've heard in the last month.

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2 years ago  ::  Jun 25, 2012 - 10:51AM #10
BDboy
Posts: 5,163

Jun 25, 2012 -- 10:29AM, chevy956 wrote:


Muslims pretending to be victims is possibly the funniest thing I've heard in the last month.




 


>>>>>>>>> I was laughing while reading this thread. I must be a bad Mozlim...... 


Well, we made you laugh habibi


;-)

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