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3 years ago  ::  Mar 22, 2012 - 7:37AM #11
costrel
Posts: 6,226

Mar 22, 2012 -- 12:15AM, Heretic_for_Christ wrote:

I thought the rhythm pattern was supposed to be 5 - 7 - 5.


Yes, haiku in Japanese have traditionally been written in so-called "syllables" of 5 - 7- 5, but contemporary haiku written in English do not have to preserve this pattern (mostly because Japanese haiku translated into English usually cannot preserve this 5 - 7- 5 pattern). And if one wants to get really technical, traditional haiku need all of the following, in addition to a 5 - 7- 5 pattern (and though this pattern in English is often represented in three horizontal lines, Japanese haiku are traditionally written in one vertical line):


Kigo - a seasonal word (usually from the natural world rather than from the human-centered civilized world) that identifies the season mentioned in the haiku.


Kiru - The cutting which divides haiku into two parts through what Carmen Sterba terms "the contrast of two images," sometimes represented in Japanese by a cutting word (kireji) that in English translations is often replaced by punctuation such as a dash, a comma, or an ellipsis. 


Haiku are also accompanied by haiga, paintings that illustrate the haiku. Finally, because of the Zen Buddhist nature of haiku, haiku should not include violent imagery or violent descriptions, should focus on nature, and should not be overly philosophical or theoretical. 


Americans who write haiku generally dispense with virtually all of these traditional aspects of haiku, and apparently (at least some) post-World War II Japanese poets who write gendai haiku (modern haiku) have also dispensed with many of the formal aspects, though keep the concept of cutting, which they consider more essential than the 5 -7 - 5 pattern. (As Uda Kiyoko, the President of the Japanese Modern Haiku Association, states: "the essence of haiku is 'cutting,' in my opinion.")


But anyway... Here is my contemporary English haiku:


"My God, my God, why --
why have you forsaken me?" -- 
God no Trinity. 

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3 years ago  ::  Mar 22, 2012 - 9:20AM #12
Heretic_for_Christ
Posts: 5,488

Well, it shows how little I know about poetry. Never knew any of that about haiku. Thanks for the information, Costrel. Perhaps I'll try again at some point, and get a little closer to what the form is supposed to be about.

I prayed for deliverance from the hard world of facts and logic to the happy land where fantasy and prejudice reign. But God spake unto me, saying, "No, keep telling the truth," and to that end afflicted me with severe Trenchant Mouth. So I'm sorry for making cutting remarks, but it's the will of God.
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3 years ago  ::  Mar 22, 2012 - 10:29AM #13
tfvespasianus
Posts: 2,105

Mar 22, 2012 -- 12:15AM, Heretic_for_Christ wrote:


I thought the rhythm pattern was supposed to be 5 - 7 - 5.




Before costrel have posted his explanation, I had composed:



Oddly enough


the rules for haiku are not


stone set (true story)



But, of course the longer explantion is more robust.


Ubi solitudinem faciunt pacem appellant - Tacitus
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3 years ago  ::  Mar 22, 2012 - 11:15AM #14
dio
Posts: 5,137

On a still morning,


Improbable marvelous,


I am here and now.

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3 years ago  ::  Mar 22, 2012 - 11:45AM #15
Heretic_for_Christ
Posts: 5,488

Mar 22, 2012 -- 11:15AM, dio wrote:


On a still morning,


Improbable marvelous,


I am here and now.




Now that is really lovely.

I prayed for deliverance from the hard world of facts and logic to the happy land where fantasy and prejudice reign. But God spake unto me, saying, "No, keep telling the truth," and to that end afflicted me with severe Trenchant Mouth. So I'm sorry for making cutting remarks, but it's the will of God.
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3 years ago  ::  Mar 22, 2012 - 12:56PM #16
MMarcoe
Posts: 17,230

 


My personal ode to Helen Mirren:


The lines of the years
sculpt her flesh with tales of life.
To love them, divine.

1. Extremists think that thinking means agreeing with them.
2. There are three sides to every story: your side, my side, and the truth.
3. God is just a personification of reality, of pure objectivity.
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3 years ago  ::  Mar 22, 2012 - 12:59PM #17
Heretic_for_Christ
Posts: 5,488

Mar 22, 2012 -- 12:56PM, MMarcoe wrote:


My personal ode to Helen Mirren:


The lines of the years
sculpt her flesh with tales of life.
To love them, divine.




Another lovely work, bespeaking great perception of beauty. It reminds me of the Shakespearean sonnet that begins "That time of year thou mayst in me behold..."

I prayed for deliverance from the hard world of facts and logic to the happy land where fantasy and prejudice reign. But God spake unto me, saying, "No, keep telling the truth," and to that end afflicted me with severe Trenchant Mouth. So I'm sorry for making cutting remarks, but it's the will of God.
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3 years ago  ::  Mar 23, 2012 - 11:03AM #18
Kwinters
Posts: 22,591

Mar 22, 2012 -- 12:56PM, MMarcoe wrote:


 


My personal ode to Helen Mirren:


The lines of the years
sculpt her flesh with tales of life.
To love them, divine.





+10

Jesus had two dads, and he turned out alright.~ Andy Gussert

“Feminism has fought no wars. It has killed no opponents. It has set up no concentration camps, starved no enemies, practiced no cruelties. Its battles have been for education, for the vote, for better working conditions…for safety on the streets…for child care, for social welfare…for rape crisis centers, women’s refuges, reforms in the law.

If someone says, “Oh, I’m not a feminist,” I ask, “Why, what’s your problem?”

Dale Spender
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3 years ago  ::  Mar 23, 2012 - 9:47PM #19
Heretic_for_Christ
Posts: 5,488

VACATION HAIKU:



To my friends and foes:


I'm going off to repose.


Then? God only knows.

I prayed for deliverance from the hard world of facts and logic to the happy land where fantasy and prejudice reign. But God spake unto me, saying, "No, keep telling the truth," and to that end afflicted me with severe Trenchant Mouth. So I'm sorry for making cutting remarks, but it's the will of God.
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