I’m posting this thread, on both the Islamic Forum and Judaism Forum, since it actually applied to both equally. 

I have known my best friend for nearly 20 years now, he is Jewish and I am Muslim, both of us are not practicing and claim to have invented Halal and Kosher pork.  In school nobody actually cared, although there was this one teacher, who occasionally use to make jokes about us, it wasn't till a few years ago we realized how racist it was.  (I am not implying that the only Muslim and Jewish friendship can happen between secular people, just implying most people we meet are niether muslims or jews) 

however whenever we use to meet people outside and our ethnic background came up, they would always be a ‘that’s weird‘ or ‘really?‘ and etc.  Most of these people were not Jews or Muslims, I personally believe that people who are shocked or surprised that a Muslim and Jew can be friends are  anti-Semitic and Islamophobic.  

I was wondering what people over here thought, are people who are shocked that a Muslim and Jew can be best friends racist???  (I have actually told a couple of people that were shocked that they were racist)

Is this a weird kind of bigotry, they wouldn't be shocked if we were Black and White, or Straight or Gay?

Is this a really weird kind of Anti-Semitism and Islamophobia???  I think it is a racist who looks at Muslims and Jews from the lens of world politics.

P.S The Jews and Muslims who are shocked in my opinions are racist as well.

Hi Ffb,

You would be surprised at two people from different racial/ethnic backgrounds being good friends?   Please explain your reaction when seeing a biracial or bi-ethnic couple.  I understand what you are saying but I don’t think  most people are that ethnocentric. 

I do identify as a Muslim and he identifies as a Jew.  

Let me give you an example, Both of us have had many people say to us, ‘I think it’s so sweet that you two are friends, specially with what’s going on’ . (or something along those lines)

However, a statement such as that implies the norm is that Jews and Muslims are not capable of being friends and thus we are breaking the norm.

Would you be surprised that in contemporary South Africa, an Afrikaner (White South African) is best friends with a Black South African?  If you are, it means you think all Afrikaners are racist and it is outside their cultural status quo for them to have a black friend.

Hi there again,

I agree and disagree, with some of your points.  I agree friendship is based on similar experience.  I think background and heritage have nothing to do with it.

I think there is a collective experience that people go through,  I was lucky we went to the same primary school and then the same secondary school (we weren't the only ones), sometimes we were in the social groups and other times not.  It wasn’t best friendship at sight, it was built by circumstances and time.

The experience of copying homework, talking about women, discovering music at the same time, alcohol and other shenanigans.  These are the collective experiences of certain type of adolescent Western heterosexual male.  Almost a ritualistic coming of age, now not all may have done what we have done, but may have done similar or some of those ritualistic things.  Faith and ethnicity are non factors. 

When you grow up, you talk about other collective experiences such as moving out, being unemployed, paying the rent, girlfriends, work politics and etc.  These again are collective experiences, not just ours experiences but of the masses.  I fear the day of talking about fatherhood on the phone with him.

Now I don’t have Muslim written on my forehead (i can pass for many faiths) and he doesn’t have Jew written on his forehead, but we are two men of the same age, and when people find out about our backgrounds, they should not surprised and bring up the middle east.  If they are they are implying no matter what background a Muslim and Jew come from, when it comes to the middle east they are monolithic.

I believe Israel has a right to exist but not to expand, he believes Palestinians should have their own state and leave violence. He is my best friend I know him, people think deep down he believes Palestinians should not have their own country.  I know he does not believe that.  I know people believe that deep down I don’t i don't want israel to exist, which is not true.

These are modern secular European, who believe no matter what all Jews and Muslims are monolithic on the issue deep inside.  That is why they the say stuff like ‘Thats cool that you two are friends’ or ‘What do you think of the mid east problem’.  People expect ALL Jews and Muslim to have some outrages hysterical connection to the war in the mid east.  My connection is purely cultural, the reason I lean more Palestinian side is because I happen to be born to a Muslim family.  I see that and recognize that and am willing to better myself to a more balanced approach.  It is the cultural thing first and a humanitarian thing second, because I would be more worried about The madness in Congo, if my priorities were in the right order.  I see that and I think most Jews see that as well and are willing to better themselves but god it is hard.

If you think Jews and Muslim have some hysterical connection where they are militantly onside or the other, you dear sir or madam are Islamophobic and an Anti-Semite.

Basically i am saying some collective experiences are beyond faith, race and heritage.

 'Someone who thinks that there is an innate connection and therefore a zealous interest in one side and not the other as an extension of some element of character is not phobic or anti anything, but simply recognizing basic tendencies as evidenced over time and experience.'

The individual there is stereotyping, and stereotyping is something that I am not comfortably with, again the Afrikaner example(I had a holiday in S.A, Cape Town it is heaven on earth),  Should I be surprised or curious if an Afrikaner marries a black person, you know because there is evidence that Afrikaners are racist scum and hate black people.  

No I should not be surprised or shocked or wonder how this marriage took place, If I do i am bigot.

So lets say your new neighbors are an Afrikaner man and a Black women, so you would think wow thats weird, because you know Afrikaners hate Black people.

Thats the prevailing stereotype but it is a racist stereotype, because not all Afrikaners are white supremacists. You may not like to admit it but you have had a racist moment there.

Gold,

As I said on the other thread, what you have with your friend is precious and exemplary. I'm sure you two would be the first to acknowledge that, strictly statistically speaking, the level of friendship between you gentlemen is uncommon for a Muslim and a Jew. For a third person to express positive surprise and curiosity at such a statistical anomaly is therefore not only completely healthy and understandable, but also a mark of a rational observer. It would be folly to misconstrue such curiosity as anti-anything.

No doubt you two have bumped into a fair share of bigots and prejudicial remarks. However, such reactions should not be simplistically confused with the innocent curiosity of others. Perhaps unwittingly your thread-starter (on two boards) comes across as primarily concerned with naming and blaming anyone indiscriminately who happens to be surprised by your valuable friendship. Your thread-starter did not come across as intent on offering a story of success to inspire and to teach others. At the risk of sounding a little moralistic, the latter would perhaps have been a trifle more constructive an approach. Having said that, I have no doubt of your good intentions.

With kind regards,

LilWabbit