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Switch to Forum Live View Sudden loss of my mom
3 years ago  ::  Mar 01, 2015 - 3:54PM #1
Awas
Posts: 3
I have suddenly lost my mom without any signs of illness. I cannot believe I have lost her and this is my worst nightmare. I have been overseas for 4 years but did visit home two years back to see her. We had long conversations over the phone while overseas and the last one was on the week she just passed away on Sartuday 10 January 2015. I had to leave everthing and travel back home to arrange funeral since I am the eldest of the five children. It was hectic to arrange it all and I was working just like a programed machine. All fell into place and her memorial including funeral went smooth. I am down in dumps and had just returned to finish my studies when I was just two months away from finishing when she passed on. We had the best mom in the world and we felt it was our responsibility to arrange funeral to the best of our abilities. We are left alone for the first time in our lives and its very difficult. I remember 14 years ago whenever mom had travelled, if she did not arrive while it was daylight we would worry and my siblings would start to cry. We were not that young at that time, my young brother was perhaps about 12 years old. She lived her life ensuring that we had the best and educated. I can not see the way forward without her though it is my responsibility to ensure that the home and my siblings continue to pursue their aspirations. Still far away from home but hoping to return in the next two months.


I hope this forum would in someway assist me as I go through the grieving process.
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3 years ago  ::  Mar 23, 2015 - 10:32PM #2
Pastordeb
Posts: 6

First, I'm so sorry that all this time has passed without anyone responding to your post.  My deepest sympathies for your loss.


I lost my mother in 1998, and there are still times when something happens and I think, "Oh, I have to call Mom and tell her."  I do tell her in my prayers, but it isn't the same.  I know that many consider it selfish since my mother is definitely in heaven, but I wish she were still here with me, always.  She was my best friend, my partner in crime, and a wonderful mother who was always supportive of my decisions even when she didn't agree with them.


Things do get better with time, but you will always miss her and always grieve for her.  However, with each passing day, the pain gets to be a little less.  For me, the pain is still there every day, but it is bearable.  I "talk" to her all the time, and she visits me often in my dreams.


The only advice I can give is to do your best to finish your studies (I'm sure she would have wanted that), and remember that she lives on forever in your heart.


If you ever feel the need to vent or a virtual shoulder to cry on, feel free to message me.

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3 years ago  ::  Mar 25, 2015 - 5:23PM #3
Awas
Posts: 3

Mar 1, 2015 -- 3:54PM, Awas wrote:

I have suddenly lost my mom without any signs of illness. I cannot believe I have lost her and this is my worst nightmare. I have been overseas for 4 years but did visit home two years back to see her. We had long conversations over the phone while overseas and the last one was on the week she just passed away on Sartuday 10 January 2015. I had to leave everthing and travel back home to arrange funeral since I am the eldest of the five children. It was hectic to arrange it all and I was working just like a programed machine. All fell into place and her memorial including funeral went smooth. I am down in dumps and had just returned to finish my studies when I was just two months away from finishing when she passed on. We had the best mom in the world and we felt it was our responsibility to arrange funeral to the best of our abilities. We are left alone for the first time in our lives and its very difficult. I remember 14 years ago whenever mom had travelled, if she did not arrive while it was daylight we would worry and my siblings would start to cry. We were not that young at that time, my young brother was perhaps about 12 years old. She lived her life ensuring that we had the best and educated. I can not see the way forward without her though it is my responsibility to ensure that the home and my siblings continue to pursue their aspirations. Still far away from home but hoping to return in the next two months.


I hope this forum would in someway assist me as I go through the grieving process.


Dear Pastordeb,


Thanks for your post, I really appreciate your time and sympathy. It is really tough going without my mom and I wish I were dead myself. I do not know how to go on, I need a miracle. I am also suffering from brain fatigue and defending my thesis seems to be impossible. I do not know how to cope and my mom knew that this will be the final blow of a long struggle to get it done with. I just can not believe that as I write this I have no mom. I lived for my mom as she lived for us and I am upset with God for having taken her away just when I was about to return home. It is really tough for me and I am losing hope day by day. Also trying to gain a bit of wait as I have lost a lot of it. I am really struggling with life at the moment.


Many thanks.


Awas


 

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3 years ago  ::  Mar 25, 2015 - 7:21PM #4
Pastordeb
Posts: 6


Dear PastorDeb,


Thanks for your post, I really appreciate your time and sympathy. It is really tough going without my mom and I wish I were dead myself. I do not know how to go on, I need a miracle. I am also suffering from brain fatigue and defending my thesis seems to be impossible. I do not know how to cope and my mom knew that this will be the final blow of a long struggle to get it done with. I just can not believe that as I write this I have no mom. I lived for my mom as she lived for us and I am upset with God for having taken her away just when I was about to return home. It is really tough for me and I am losing hope day by day. Also trying to gain a bit of wait as I have lost a lot of it. I am really struggling with life at the moment.


Many thanks.


Awas



Awas,


Your loss is still new, and I do know exactly how you feel.  My mother was my best friend.  She died when my son was 5 years old, and he is the one who found her, so it was really tough.  The sun rose and set around him for her, and I had to take care of him and his grief, putting mine to the side.  My son kept talking about wanting to be an angel so he could be with his Nana.  So I lost my best friend, and had a suicidal 5 year old on my hands.


Please don't wish you were dead yourself.  Your mother would never want that.  Is there a way you could take a sabbatical from school due to extenuating circumstances?  It could give you the time to go trough the grieving process without worrying about keeping your grades up.


You CAN go on.  You do it one second, one minute, one hour, one day at a time.  Don't deny how you feel, but rather let yourself feel every emotion that you are going through.  If you want to throw things, then throw them (although I suggest doing that in private, Laughing)  Cry when you feel like crying, be mad, etc.  One moment at a tme.  Don't think about your whole future, just gettng through one moment at a time.


I don't know if you can privately emaill someone, but if you can, send me a message and I will send you my phone number.  You obviously need a shoulder to cry on, and I'm offering mine for whenever you feel you need t talk.  We can do it on the phone or through messages.  You aren't alone, there are people who care about youl



Padto Deb



 




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3 years ago  ::  Mar 30, 2015 - 5:27AM #5
Sol23
Posts: 22

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know it's hard. Just hang in there and be strong, I think your mom don't wanna see you suffer.

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