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3 years ago  ::  Dec 23, 2014 - 3:36PM #1
Mamaof8
Posts: 1
I left my first husband because he was abusive. I loved his family though. They welcomed me in with loving arms. now i am married AGAIN accept he is the most loving man i have ever known. BUT his family treats me so horrible. His grandmother who works at a church, loved and known by many has done nothing but treat myself and my children so bad its unbelievable. She came last christmas and refused to bring them any presents yet gave my 3 step children theirs and looked at them like haha. It was heart breaking for my 3. They have never done anything wrong. I feel so bad for them. it isn't fair and i dont know how to make things right. My husbands mom is the same way matter of fact so is his sister. The only person who ALMOST treats me and my children like their own is my father in law but he is a little mental and can go off anytime so you have to walk around on tip toes. I am so depressed. I left my family and moved to anther state and now all i have are in laws who hate me for no reason. Its been 2 years and i have never felt so alone
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3 years ago  ::  Mar 23, 2015 - 11:05PM #2
Pastordeb
Posts: 6

Dec 23, 2014 -- 3:36PM, Mamaof8 wrote:

I left my first husband because he was abusive. I loved his family though. They welcomed me in with loving arms. now i am married AGAIN accept he is the most loving man i have ever known. BUT his family treats me so horrible. His grandmother who works at a church, loved and known by many has done nothing but treat myself and my children so bad its unbelievable. She came last christmas and refused to bring them any presents yet gave my 3 step children theirs and looked at them like haha. It was heart breaking for my 3. They have never done anything wrong. I feel so bad for them. it isn't fair and i dont know how to make things right. My husbands mom is the same way matter of fact so is his sister. The only person who ALMOST treats me and my children like their own is my father in law but he is a little mental and can go off anytime so you have to walk around on tip toes. I am so depressed. I left my family and moved to anther state and now all i have are in laws who hate me for no reason. Its been 2 years and i have never felt so alone



Mamaof8,


How does your husband react to all of this?  Is he supportive of you and stand up to his family when they treat you poorly?  If he doesn't, he can be the most loving man in the world, but your relationship is going to suffer greatly, and likely you will end up divorcing.


I would suggest that you first sit down with your husband and have a very frank discussion about your feelings.  No relationship works without good communication.  Try to use "I" statements as opposed blaming the in laws for everything (even if it is all them).  For instance, tell him that when the grandmother completely ignored your children at Christmas time, it made YOU feel as though she didn't accept you and your children as part of the family.


Personally, I believe that your husband should tell the grandmother that if she isn't going to get gifts for all the children, that she shouldn't get any at all, because you are a new family and his stepchildren are as important as his biological ones.


If he isn't willing to stand up for you on this issue, then I'm afraid there isn't much that can be done.  You could try talking to the grandmother, mother and sister and ask if you somehow offended them.  Tell them you want everyone to get along and ask them what you can do to help facilitate that friendliness.


I wish you all the luck in the world, I truly do....but, my ex-husband's family hated me with a passion (they still do), and it wasn't ever going to change.  My current partner has only an elderly aunt whom I have met through Skype and she seems to think I'm ok, so I don't have these problems anymore.


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