Hi, Horus and welcome to the forum.

Perhaps we could help you more if you would elaborate a bit about your faith.

Well, I'll share with you my thoughts and you can see if anything makes sense or may be something you can use.

Consider that all "How To" books on magic, ritual, etc...are diaries or Journals, of the author(s).

They're a sharing of what has traditionally been taught by either word of mouth or other Pagan and other eclectic ritualist authors, combined with what the author of that particular book is sharing from those former writers as well as their own experience in the arts.

That being said, if they can write a book from personal experience, you too can find your way to your path all on your own. No one knows you like you do. Every ritualist began from within. That calling, that urge, to bond with something outside themselves.

Every moment of every day, is ritual. You are the temple of creation. Within you is the power, the energies, the harmonics, that ebb and flow and manifest all that is. You are the house of Goddess. In your eyes, is her light. It is her, that non-gender power that speaks inside you, that you hear with a womans voice. And if you hear that calling to come hither and find your way to her, what better way than to look inside yourself and begin the journey?

It's full moon. The time for seeding by the light, the hope, for all those tomorrows. Tonight, why not turn out all the lights in your house or room, or wherever you feel safe and able to do ritual. Let the light of the moon guide you, because in the still of darkness, there's a palpable feeling as if it has form. And within that embrace, in the light of Goddess moon, find your quiet place inside. Do you meditate? If not, perhaps you can begin this evening.

Close your eyes, sit comfortably dressed in loose comfortable clothes (or you can go skyclad, what Pagans call nude). Burn candles, incense, play melodic or drum music. Or make your own music.

Whatever you feel called to do, do it. As you sit with eyes closed, or perhaps it works best with them open, as you focus on a distant point and breathe deeply, quieting the chatter in your mind that always seems to come up when we're trying to find peace. Let it all hush. Let it all go. Forget where you are, just focus on your breathing. Ignore the chatter. When all is still wait and see what thoughts come to mind, or what visions appear.

Follow your heart, live the imagination, honor yourself as sacred. Because you are. There is no wrong way to find your peace, in ritual born from your own heart. You don't need books to lead you. You can write your own, as you do all the time. Living you. (HUGS)

May the powers guide you to inspiration and peace,

Diana

*You can always look at the Communities here and see if any are something you would be interested in. The groups section is also there, so that you might find like minded seekers. And you can even start your own, and call them to you. So that you can all have support in the journey together.

Sep 24, 2010 -- 11:06AM, Horuslover45 wrote:

Thank you for your response, a truly touching response actually. One more question, how do I start a personal ceremony? I know it's personal for everyone, but I'd like to see what you or others do regarding that. Also I have performance anxiety, :) I'm afraid that I'll feel foolish or something. Also are you pagan? If you are can you explain the Book of Shadows for me? Because it sounds interesting. Blessings, Brit

The book of shadows was a fiction, started by Gerarld Gardner, creator of "Gardnerian Wicca".

He claimed the Book of Shadows was a book, or diary, kept by a Coven to commemorate special events (Wiccanings (child naming ceremony), hand fastings (Wiccan wedding) etc..) and to document spells and ritual "how to's".

In truth, this was a lie. The ancient Pagans were illiterate. Therefore, it would have been virtually impossible for them to keep a journal or diary of any sort. Secondly, during the persecutions by the Church, any documents attesting to anything even remotely heretical (non-Christian) much less Witchcraft ("Satanic" in the Churches point of view) would have meant certain death, for the evidence that Book of Shadows would have provided the Inquisition. Pagan ritual was oral tradition, if anything.

I appreciate that you have performance anxiety. However, you can do ritual in the privacy of your own safe place, without anyone in attendance to perform for, but yourself. And, if you're looking to work magic or seek guidance from the powers, god(s), goddess(es), what better method to help you overcome that anxiety, than to learn to trust yourself to do ritual on your own behalf. 

I can't tell you how to do your own ritual. When you do ritual it's to bring yourself into alignment with what you hold faith is there to be communed with. I think you have to find your own path, and ask yourself what feels right to make your way to introducing yourself.

Perhaps you can write down what you hold as truth, in what you believe in faith inspires your life and is responsible, at the heart of, all that exists. Be honest, it's your self you're asking these things of. And you don't have to share it with anyone. Today, you can create your own magical journal or "Book of Shadows", safely and securely and in doing so, you may find your way to learning more of who you are. Just ask and write. Find that quiet still place inside and then ask yourself "who am I?" And "What do I want in this life?" spirit writing, or free writing, as it's sometimes called is when you simply let yourself relax and write whatever comes to mind.

I know folks who do ritual when they speed walk. Or do any form of exercise. You don't need all the bells and whistles; candles, incense, altar, statues, ritual clothing, etc... You don't need to follow instructions in someone's "ritual how-to" book, word for word. (I've attended rituals where that's the case.) You are uniquely representative of all that exists to create all that you believe to exist. IF you believe in God, then you are a piece of God, born to live this life and experience the human reality uniquely as you. When you pass away, there will never again be another you. So when you want to do ritual and find your way to the source that calls you to think of such a thing so as to re-connect with that power, it is your own personal inspiration that you need to pay attention to, your imagination, that will tell you what feels right, in order to do that.
Follow your heart. The powers that be, are you. There's no wrong, in re-cognizing that, in ritual.

And to answer your question, I've practiced the arts for a very long time.

Well, it sounds like you're following your inner calling. Very good. If you were a Priest in a former life, you should be able to find that thread to the past inside yourself today. Especially if you already believe it to be there.

Go with your heart. If you meditate that's an excellent way to find your path.

You can check here at Belief Net, for Communities and insight from people who are of like mind to yourself.

Kemetic Federation (Click Link)

      Here we hope to give the followers and those who are interested in the Kemetic faith a place on the internet to talk to each other. A chance to share their thoughts & ideas.
      We hope that they will find spiritual guidence from the thoughts of our spirtual leader who passes on the wisdom of our great Gods.
      As our faith is spread around the world so many of the Kemetic faith feel isolated here they can shed that isolation and become part of a true community that can support help and give them a chance to connect with those of the same faith.

Then there's a forum dedicated to Kemetic Religions: (Kemet was the original name for "Egypt" which was derived from the Greek.) (Click Link)

Then there's "Witches Voice *Click Link*" An excellent off board (Not a Belief Net Link) site, where you can find all manner of Pagan resources, community, etc...

You're most welcome. I wish you great success on your journey, and it is my pleasure if any guidance I provided, helped along the way. (HUGS) Be Blessed

^ Click^