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12 months ago  ::  Jun 21, 2012 - 10:26PM #91
Redbaron
Redbaron
Posts: 304

There were three bothers who became tree surgeons. 


The first brother was injured when he fell out of a patient.


The second brother was so successful, he opened a branch office.



The poor third brother finally gave it up in despair.  He just couldn't stand the sight of sap.

You are a unique, special individual, just like everyone else.
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12 months ago  ::  Jun 27, 2012 - 4:09PM #92
Callielou
Callielou
Posts: 20,786


A friend told the blond: "Christmas is on a Friday this year." 
The blond then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th.

It is impossible to make people understand their ignorance, for it requires knowledge to perceive it; and, therefore, he that can perceive it hath it not.
Jeremy Taylor
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12 months ago  ::  Jun 27, 2012 - 11:45PM #93
Bouncybaby
Bouncybaby
Posts: 13,738


Hi ya'll, did you hear about the two brothers in the bar.


They were staring at the two drunks on the other side of the bar.


One said to the other, that's us in about ten years.


The brother saids that's a mirror you idiot.

The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep.
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12 months ago  ::  Jun 28, 2012 - 11:36AM #94
Callielou
Callielou
Posts: 20,786




Two blonds find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a
police station. 
One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?" 
The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."












It is impossible to make people understand their ignorance, for it requires knowledge to perceive it; and, therefore, he that can perceive it hath it not.
Jeremy Taylor
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12 months ago  ::  Jun 28, 2012 - 7:38PM #95
Bouncybaby
Bouncybaby
Posts: 13,738


Oh my, I always had a feeling I was different than the rest. I started thinking about my family's history. Who knows maybe I'll find I might be from royalty.  So I decieded to look up my familytree. After much research of our familytree and to my suprise to find I was only sap.

The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep.
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12 months ago  ::  Jun 29, 2012 - 9:42AM #96
Callielou
Callielou
Posts: 20,786


A blond man shouts frantically into the phone 
"My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor. 
"No", he shouts, "this is her husband!

It is impossible to make people understand their ignorance, for it requires knowledge to perceive it; and, therefore, he that can perceive it hath it not.
Jeremy Taylor
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11 months ago  ::  Jul 13, 2012 - 4:28PM #97
Bouncybaby
Bouncybaby
Posts: 13,738


A baby crawfish and it's mother were walking along a ditch when the


baby crawfish who had gone ahead, comes flying back down the ditch.


The mother followed and asked, "What is the matter?"


The baby crawfish answers, "Look that big thing right there."


The mother says "Don't worry about that; it is just a cow."


So they keep walking. Then the baby crawfish comes flying down again.


The mother asked again, "What is the matter?"


The baby says look at that thing right there.


The mother says "That is just a dog; it will not hurt you," so they kept walking.


Then suddenly the mother goes flying by the baby crawfish.


The baby crawfish asked its mother what's wrong,


 and the mother said, "Run! That's a Cajun and they eat anything

The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep.
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11 months ago  ::  Jul 13, 2012 - 8:44PM #98
Callielou
Callielou
Posts: 20,786


A blonde goes to the vet with her goldfish. 
"I think it's got epilepsy," she tells the vet. 
The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me". 
The blonde says, "Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet".

It is impossible to make people understand their ignorance, for it requires knowledge to perceive it; and, therefore, he that can perceive it hath it not.
Jeremy Taylor
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11 months ago  ::  Jul 14, 2012 - 12:06PM #99
Bouncybaby
Bouncybaby
Posts: 13,738


A french fry walks into the bar and says to the bartender "Hay , could I get a beer please" The barthened looks at him shacking his head and say "No, we don't serve food here"


 

The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep.
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11 months ago  ::  Jul 14, 2012 - 8:12PM #100
Callielou
Callielou
Posts: 20,786


A blonde was driving home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly she has to
swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another. 
A cop car pulls her over, so she tells the cop about all the trees in
the road. 
The cop says, "That's your air freshener swinging about!" 

It is impossible to make people understand their ignorance, for it requires knowledge to perceive it; and, therefore, he that can perceive it hath it not.
Jeremy Taylor
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