Post Reply
6 years ago  ::  Oct 03, 2008 - 7:22PM #1
xLivinglifEx
Posts: 61
Hi, I'm in print journalism and for one of my assignments I have to write a yearbook article. She told us it could be anything we want it to be. I'll post it shortly, but I would like, if you don't mind, if you could critique it for me. I just need to get an idea of what I should change.
Quick Reply
Cancel
6 years ago  ::  Oct 03, 2008 - 7:40PM #2
xLivinglifEx
Posts: 61
Thundering heartbeats, twisting hands, sweat rolling down faces. All can be signs of nervousness when faced down with peer pressure. High school students know that this can happen at any time. I could be one night at homecoming when all the guys want to egg someone’s car or when all the girls want to start vicious rumors.

Anna Peters, jr., said, “I think you should do what you like to do, if it makes you feel uncomfortable, don’t do it.” Students can be pressured at any moment to do something they really don’t want to do. It is common for them to feel a part of a group are for them to comply with most of the things they say and do.

Jack Fitzpatrick, fr., said, “They want to look good in front of others.”  This is usually why most students give into others. They want to feel a part of something. Lacy Miles, so., said that students do it “because they don’t want to be considered an outcast.” Peer pressure can be considered a problem in today’s schools.

“You shouldn’t give in,” Andrew Keller, fr., said. As high school students, it’s a daily struggle with what’s right and what’s wrong. Being yourself and not giving in are things you can do to help through the struggles of peer pressure.






Alright this is my story. in print journalism everything sould be placed in past tense, the first sentence should grab your attention, and the writer shouldn't give their opinion.
Quick Reply
Cancel
6 years ago  ::  Oct 04, 2008 - 9:07AM #3
xLivinglifEx
Posts: 61
Hey I have to rewrite it i just realized last night that it's too general.
Quick Reply
Cancel
6 years ago  ::  Oct 13, 2008 - 5:14PM #4
xLivinglifEx
Posts: 61
Thank you for your comment, Proudly Muslim. I edited my story so it should be less general now.


    Thundering heartbeats, twisting hands, sweat rolling down faces. All could be signs of nervousness which could be a sign of peer pressure.
There are ways peer pressure can be shot down when faced with it. “I think you should do what you like to do, if it makes you feel uncomfortable, don’t do it,” Alyssa Miller, jr., said. A way to get out of peer pressure or the situation is to know the consequences that may follow. If deep down knowing it’s not right that feeling could be correct.
It is common for students to want to feel a part of a group. A reason students comply with others, “They want to look good in front of others,” Spencer MacKay, fr., said. Avoiding situations that might hurt others is another good way to evade peer pressure.
    The best way to go when presented with peer pressure was to stand for what you believe and say what is wanted to be said. “You shouldn’t give in,” Corey Androski, fr., said. Peer pressure can be agreed a continued problem in high school.

Thanks for reading hope you like it!!!!
Quick Reply
Cancel
6 years ago  ::  Oct 13, 2008 - 5:19PM #5
xLivinglifEx
Posts: 61
Thanks for the comment, proudly muslim. Well here's my edited version and I've already turned it in and got a 43 out of 50 - which is pretty good for my frist time. This isn't my original, but my second one so hopely I get a better grade!! Hope you enjoy and thanks for reading.

    Thundering heartbeats, twisting hands, sweat rolling down faces. All could be signs of nervousness which could be a sign of peer pressure.
There are ways peer pressure can be shot down when faced with it. “I think you should do what you like to do, if it makes you feel uncomfortable, don’t do it,” Anna Peters, jr., said. A way to get out of peer pressure or the situation is to know the consequences that may follow. If deep down knowing it’s not right that feeling could be correct.
It is common for students to want to feel a part of a group. A reason students comply with others, “They want to look good in front of others,” Jack Fitzpatrick, fr., said. Avoiding situations that might hurt others is another good way to evade peer pressure.
    The best way to go when presented with peer pressure was to stand for what you believe and say what is wanted to be said. “You shouldn’t give in,” Andrew Keller, fr., said. Peer pressure can be agreed a continued problem in high school.
Quick Reply
Cancel
 
    Viewing this thread :: 0 registered and 1 guest
    No registered users viewing
    Advertisement

    Beliefnet On Facebook