Important Announcement

See here for an important message regarding the community which has become a read-only site as of October 31.

Post Reply
Switch to Forum Live View Can the honeymoon please be over?
5 years ago  ::  Aug 12, 2013 - 12:11PM #1
Posts: 1
Three years ago I married my best friend. BUT. We each went into the marriage for very different reasons, and many of them were the wrong ones. The big one for me was starting a home and a family (I'm in my 40s). As we've tried to work out our differences, we both keep getting dragged back into his comfort zone: snuggling on the couch, enjoying good times together mostly at home, having interesting conversations. It's fun! It's nice! As long as we don't move on with the realities of life. When I try to edge him out of his comfort zone he withdraws, sometimes severely. Any conversation I begin about goalsetting, family planning, etc., no matter how gently I do it, is received as nagging and I'm painted as the bad guy. His inertia and passivity feel very controlling - it basically enables him to dictate the terms of the relationship. When does patience with your partner's process cross the line into enabling? How can I communicate to him that my goals and needs are as important as his? What is the loving response to this situation?
Quick Reply
5 years ago  ::  Aug 13, 2013 - 5:02AM #2
Posts: 9,223

Are you speaking of having babies specifically or is there more to it? Im sure family planning is hard and not something I relate to but if your in your 40s never had any Im sure your anxious to get started. Im 46 and had a histerectomy a year ago so its deifnitly getting time maybe yall can seek some guidance from a paster or religious leader?

Quick Reply
    Viewing this thread :: 0 registered and 1 guest
    No registered users viewing

    Beliefnet On Facebook