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1 year ago  ::  Jul 24, 2013 - 2:45PM #1
SatanicStalker
Posts: 719
I haven't been on beliefnet in months (years maybe?), but today I felt like coming over to say hello. 

I am doing quite well. I graduated college (high honors, woohoo!), spent a year in an awesome but intense internship, and I've been working a real grown-up job in the laboratory of a local hospital for two years now. I'm in the middle of my first vacation since entering the adult working world, because...

I got married three days ago! We had a lovely secular self-uniting ceremony here at our home on Sunday, then on Monday went down to the courthouse to file our declaration of marriage. After nine awesome years together, much of that long-distance, the time felt right to get married. 

And, since this is a website about beliefs, I'll also share that after ten years, I'm no longer a Satanist. It was only this past December that I figured it out. I heard and watched and read the news about the Sandy Hook shooting, cried for a few days at the horribleness of it all, then realized: if I had been there, I think chances are very high that I would have thrown myself in front of those children, my own life be damned, and more importantly, I feel it would have been right to do so. Satanism does value the lives of children very highly, but its teachings are clear that one's own life is the highest value, and should not ever be sacrificed unless doing so constitutes an indulgence (such as suicide to end suffering while battling terminal illness). Sacrificing one's own life for others in anathema to what Satanism teaches. I found one counterexample to disprove the notion that my personal beliefs agree with all of the core teachings of Satanism, therefore I am not a Satanist. Whether I was then or just thought I was is up for debate, but I don't really care to spend my time trying to figure that out. 

Since parting ways with my former belief system, I've found myself drawn once again toward some Pagan ideals and ways of looking at the world (before finding Satanism, I considered myself a Pagan, and my mother is a Wiccan priestess). I still feel agnostic in regards to the existence of dieties, but I'm feeling quite drawn back towards the power of symbols and sympathetic magic. My wedding a few days ago was in many ways one big fertility spell, with myself in a green dress, prominence of wheat-like wild grasses for decoration, baskets of fruit for snacking (and decoration), and as many children in attendance as I could invite. My husband and I haven't quite started trying to conceive just yet, but one of the reasons we decided to get married now was the desire to start reproducing very soon, and us both having old-fashioned ideas about it being ideal to be married before doing so. 

So hello again, old friends and new.  
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1 year ago  ::  Jul 30, 2013 - 8:21PM #2
Hatman
Posts: 9,634

Stalker-


Welcome back, and apologies for the delay in response; 'tis my busy season, and unless i'd gotten (temporarily) ill today, would've been too busy to say "Hi!"


Felicitations and blessings on your marriage, as well as your career(for which you worked rather diligently); pardon the imposition in advance, but did you marry the same fella in Alaska you had disclosed your love for, and has he received a similar revelation in re: satanism?


But glad you saw the flaw and took steps to correct it; i'm certain that many sent prayers in your general direction, at least!


Warmest regards-


Hatman


"History records that the moneychangers have used every form of abuse, deceit, intrigue, and violent means possible to maintain their control over governments by controlling money and it's issuance."
-- James Madison(1751-1836), Father of the Constitution for the USA, 4th US President
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1 year ago  ::  Jul 30, 2013 - 9:19PM #3
SatanicStalker
Posts: 719

Hello again!


Yes, I married the same guy. We've been together 9 years now, long distance about half of that, but not all at once. He has been a fervent atheist the entire time, but was fine with my beliefs then (I think he thought that Satanism was a little silly, but he respected that I took it seriously) and is supportive of my transition now. 

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1 year ago  ::  Jul 31, 2013 - 12:22PM #4
Anesis
Posts: 1,543

Congratulations on your marriage! Your ceremony sounds lovely, with all the fertility symbolism.


It's also been a while for me here (although I've poked in now and then) for the last few years. I also graduated from college on the Dean's list and got married, so we have a few things in common! But...it sounds like you became a scientist (I'm a social worker).


What an interesting way to find that your core value was not the same as satanism....to suddenly be hit by a revelation that you indeed would sacrifice yourself for another human being. I'm not trying to plagiarize, but it was a similar revelation that affirmed my own belief in a sacrificial and loving God (Christianity).


It sounds like it's been an interesting journey for you. Best wishes to you and your husband!

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1 year ago  ::  Aug 01, 2013 - 2:50AM #5
rideronthastorm
Posts: 6,049

Congratulations Stalker!WOW! Well even though I converted back to Christainity from Paganism I havnt deleted my relationship with my Pagan UU church so when Im there I perform their rituals as a Christian so.

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1 year ago  ::  Aug 01, 2013 - 4:27AM #6
rideronthastorm
Posts: 6,049

Correction converted to Zen Buddhist beliefs and Christianity

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1 year ago  ::  Aug 01, 2013 - 7:31PM #7
Hatman
Posts: 9,634

Rider-


When anyone asks me about my spiritual beliefs, i've always found it fun to say "Zen Baptist," just to enjoy the puzzled expression on their faces!


Warmest regards-


M

"History records that the moneychangers have used every form of abuse, deceit, intrigue, and violent means possible to maintain their control over governments by controlling money and it's issuance."
-- James Madison(1751-1836), Father of the Constitution for the USA, 4th US President
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1 year ago  ::  Aug 02, 2013 - 12:48PM #8
rideronthastorm
Posts: 6,049

Thankyou Hatman!

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1 year ago  ::  Aug 02, 2013 - 3:41PM #9
REteach
Posts: 15,016

Congratulations SS!  BTW, you will need to change your profile.  :)

I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard was not what I meant...
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1 year ago  ::  Aug 26, 2013 - 4:16AM #10
Estacia
Posts: 2,213

Beliefs aside,


Congratulations on your new life.


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