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Switch to Forum Live View Monogamy Is Unnatural
1 year ago  ::  Jun 24, 2013 - 7:57PM #1
rangerken
Posts: 16,408
Here is an interesting, and no doubt controversial article from CNN Opinion.

Monogamy Is Unnatural


Now since I've been married for 40 years, and am monogamous I found it fascinating, but also accurate in the historic sense with an excellent presentation of facts.

Whether it is indeed a 'hot topic' depends on respponses, but i think there's lots to verbally fight about so I am hopeful.

Some key paragraphs are these...


"It's also important to look at human longevity with respect to cultural expectations of monogamy.


"As recent as over 100 years ago, it was far more likely that an individual would lose his or her spouse at a young age. Remarriage by widows and widowers -- also known as serial monogamy -- was one way for humans to fulfill the need for sexual variety."


And we should keep in mind that back then a primary cause of death among women was childbirth, as in the second, or fourth, or ninth time etc. That, fortunately, in the westernized world has changed.


Comments???


Ken



Libertarian, Conservative, Life member of the NRA and VFW
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1 year ago  ::  Jun 24, 2013 - 8:53PM #2
vra
Posts: 6,403

I had a "Marriage & Family" professor who constantly pronounced monogamy "monotony" instead.

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1 year ago  ::  Jun 24, 2013 - 9:33PM #3
teilhard
Posts: 51,387

As It is Written, "


'Variety' is the 'Spice of Life' ..."


Wink


AND ... of course ...


"Nudge, nudge ... Know what I mean, know what I mean ... ??? Say no more, say no more ... !!! A Wink is as good as a Nod to a blind Bat ..."

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1 year ago  ::  Jun 24, 2013 - 9:38PM #4
Do_unto_others
Posts: 8,995

It isn't that you're unnatural, Ken; you're just rare.


 


Smile

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1 year ago  ::  Jun 24, 2013 - 10:03PM #5
teilhard
Posts: 51,387

Some prefer to be ... *ahem* ... shall we say ... "well DONE" ...


Laughing



Jun 24, 2013 -- 9:38PM, Do_unto_others wrote:


It isn't that you're unnatural, Ken; you're just rare.


 


Smile





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1 year ago  ::  Jun 24, 2013 - 10:34PM #6
Erey
Posts: 18,940

I wouldn't say monogamy is unnatural - would any monogamous folks out there say that?


Just I would say monogamy is hardly our default, that being monogamous is a decision a choice.  I think in our sociey we are serial monogamists.  We take them one at a time and that is perfectly acceptable in our society.  We are not considered "cheating" untill we are running with more than one partner at a time. 


I do think it is a higher order to make a lifelong commitment and keep it.  That for the most part having a sucessfull and loving marriage that lasts a lifetime is one of the higher possible accomplishments. 

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1 year ago  ::  Jun 25, 2013 - 6:46AM #7
Ebon
Posts: 10,148

When we look at this, one needs to understand that virtually everything humans do is unnatural. The history of our civilisation has been a history of one long flight away from nature because the life of man in a state of nature is, as Hobbes put it, "nasty, brutish and short". And so, the question of what is "natural" for humanity is largely a pointless question. It's especially a pointless question for humans because, unlike any other species, we have learned to decouple sexuality and fertility. In prehistoric times, it was in our biological interest for a child's parents to be committed to one another to ensure the survival of the child to adulthood and thereby, the continuation of the genes. In fact, the extended family was even better (and was, historically, the most common form of childrearing) for exactly the same reason.


But that's fairly irrelevent to us now. Since we have largely divorced sex from fertility, monogamy now becomes simply one option among many. For some people, monogamy comes naturally. For others, it doesn't suit. And incidently, there's much less of a male/female difference on this than you'd think. I can easily find you studies that show that women are just as indiscriminatly horny as men and just as visually aroused. Much of what we think of as "natural" gender roles are actually socially constructed and, in some cases, surprisingly recent.


I say, as I always have, that you should discuss what's acceptable with your partner and, with that in mind, do whatever makes you happy. There's nothing inherently wrong with casual sex as long as rubbers are involved and everyone is up-front about what they expect. Likewise, there's nothing wrong with monogamy if that's how you and your partner are most comfortable. Lots of couples have open relationships and lots of couples have "closed" relationships (for lack of a better term) and both are perfectly acceptable options if that's how you and your partner are happiest. I've known couples who have open relationships, I've known couples who have monogamous relationships. I've even known couples who have master/slave relationships and all those relationships were relatively happy. What causes problems, every time, is a failure to respect the other partner's boundries. As usual, respect and communication are the key.

He who oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker, but whoever is kind to the needy honors God. ~ Proverbs 14:31

Fiat justitia, ruat caelum

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1 year ago  ::  Jun 25, 2013 - 8:14AM #8
Roodog
Posts: 10,168

Jun 24, 2013 -- 7:57PM, rangerken wrote:

Here is an interesting, and no doubt controversial article from CNN Opinion.

Monogamy Is Unnatural


Now since I've been married for 40 years, and am monogamous I found it fascinating, but also accurate in the historic sense with an excellent presentation of facts.

Whether it is indeed a 'hot topic' depends on respponses, but i think there's lots to verbally fight about so I am hopeful.

Some key paragraphs are these...


"It's also important to look at human longevity with respect to cultural expectations of monogamy.


"As recent as over 100 years ago, it was far more likely that an individual would lose his or her spouse at a young age. Remarriage by widows and widowers -- also known as serial monogamy -- was one way for humans to fulfill the need for sexual variety."


And we should keep in mind that back then a primary cause of death among women was childbirth, as in the second, or fourth, or ninth time etc. That, fortunately, in the westernized world has changed.


Comments???


Ken





 Three cheers for Joseph Smith and Brigham Young! (You can cheer for Mohammad too.)

For those who have faith, no explanation is neccessary.
For those who have no faith, no explanation is possible.

St. Thomas Aquinas

If one turns his ear from hearing the Law, even his prayer is an abomination. Proverbs 28:9
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1 year ago  ::  Jun 25, 2013 - 8:24AM #9
Do_unto_others
Posts: 8,995


Jun 24, 2013 -- 7:57PM, rangerken wrote:

Here is an interesting, and no doubt controversial article from CNN Opinion.

Monogamy Is Unnatural


.... 


Comments???


Ken


The article doesn't mention polygamy. It addresses sexual non-monogamy. There's not a single mention of wishing to marry multiple spouses, only having multiple sex partners.

Moderated by Stardove on Jun 25, 2013 - 01:02PM
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1 year ago  ::  Jun 25, 2013 - 8:30AM #10
Roodog
Posts: 10,168

One wife is MORE than enough!

For those who have faith, no explanation is neccessary.
For those who have no faith, no explanation is possible.

St. Thomas Aquinas

If one turns his ear from hearing the Law, even his prayer is an abomination. Proverbs 28:9
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