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7 years ago  ::  Oct 20, 2011 - 11:39AM #1
Posts: 2
We recently lost our only child.  At first it was like I was hit with a ton of bricks.  I could not believe it!  You see I lost my mom 8 years ago - Sept. 14, 2003 and now my daughter on Sept. 28, 2011.  The thing is I was the one who found both of them!

Nicole was only 38 years old.  She was a special needs lady.  She had Autism.  However, she was high functioning.  At her wake everyone came from the Director to the beautiful lady who worked with my daughter.  It gave my husband and myself such comfort in how they shared with us that it was such a joy to work with Nicole.

Her funeral was a joyful one!  We are so glad that the Pastor did not make it sad.  The thing is a week before Nicole passed she drew pictures of angels.  Three of the five were displayed at her funeral.  One was a picture of an angels flying over a church and she stated on her drawing God is Good.  The next one had a church and it stated Angels are watching over me. Than the third one which was displayed stated girl flying in the sky.  It was a picture of a girl who had wings and she was flying over a house.  That picture was Nicole.

Nicole wrote her own eulogy.  Pastor was God's instrument in sharing and discussing those precious pictures.  Those precious pictures were drawn one week before she went home to be with the Lord.  She knew as I believe many know when death is near.  Those precious angel drawings are footprints where she is now....and where one day I shall be with her and my mom and all of my love ones.

It is hard...yet God is giving us strength to go on.  I/we have our moments where we are strong and than we have our moments where we weep.  What can I say?  All I know is each death is different.  My mom's death was hard because we were very close, not a day goes by that I have not thought about her.  Now it's the same with Nicole.

Please pray for us.  We're asking our friends to do so and they have.  I'm happy to find this group because there are others who have already gone through what I am going through now.  She was our only child.  We have no other children or grandkids.  My husband was not her biological father but he was her dad.  Her biological father passed away in 2000.  I remember once Nicole asked my husband "Why can't you be my father.?"  He told her that he could never be her biological father or would he try to take his place but he is her dad."  She smiled and it answered her question.

I didn't mean to write  a short story here.  But please keep us up in prayer. On her birthday which was the 10th of October we released balloons at the cemetery.  It gave all of us a comfort.
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7 years ago  ::  Oct 20, 2011 - 11:57AM #2
Posts: 1,799


I'm so very sorry to hear of your tragic loss.
I will put your whole family in my Prayers, I will never stop praying for them.

I know what it's like to loose your mom, September 29th was the 38th Anniversary of
my mom's passing from a inopberable brain tumor.
It still hurts,the feeling dissapate, but never totally leave you.

And I also know what it's like to lose your only child.

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7 years ago  ::  Oct 24, 2011 - 6:55AM #3
Posts: 3,329

My father passed away at age 47 from his 4th heart attack. I had just turned 19 myself, and it has felt really strange to be older now than he lived to be. I was blessed with having 2 sets of grandparents, but I was destroyed for years over Daddy's death. I was still afraid of death then , too. I stopped being afraid when the first one of my grandparents died. I had been home in the upstairs hall and suddenly felt myself wrapped in love that felt like a head to toe complete body hug that was the absolute essence of Grandpa. I got the call about 10 minutes later telling me that he had died at the exact time I got that hug. His parting gift to me--he showed me that who we are and who we love transcends death. I haven't been afraid of death since then.

Within 8 months, my first cousins lost both of their parents. When my aunt died, she went from shoveling snow and laughing to organ donor within 24 hours. I was remembering everything about how he'd asked my sister and I to be very nice to her because she was shy on the big "Meet the family" dinner. All those memories...and he was selling their house because he couldn't live there without her. So I passed on word through Mother that the reason he hadn't gotten that letter from me was because I realized it would make him hurt more and he didn't deserve that from me. I got thanks from him 3 times for considering his pain first. I will write it up for my cousins, but not for a while. They discovered he had lung cancer in both lungs that had metatized into the bone. He was dead less than a week later. I know that his soul flew up to her like a rocket because I felt him go.

I'm glad you have those angel drawings, that she knew she was going to be taken up to Heaven by angels. She and your Mom are together. I think that letting off the balloons for her was a magnificent idea. You did the most important thing you could have done for either person just by letting them know how much you loved them. It doesn't stop the pain, but you will see them again. When you thin of them with love, they now it. You'll be in my prayers.

"You are letting your opinion be colored by facts again."
'When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you."
these are both from my father.
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