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Switch to Forum Live View setting people free
8 years ago  ::  Jul 30, 2010 - 3:11PM #1
Posts: 38

I want to give an example of how giving another freedom can help them to heal.

I was talking to a friend on the phone once trying to help him decide whether or not he should clean his bedroom. He said he kind of wanted to, but then again he kind of didn't at the same time.

I said to him something like, "Well, if I were you I wouldn't bother with it. It would probably be a pain in the neck, so I just wouldn't worry about it."

He immediately said, "I will clean my room. I've made up my mind."

What happened was that I gave him the FREEDOM to NOT clean his room, and in that freedom, he realized that he did, in fact, want to clean his room.

If you tell a child (or even an adult) that they must not do something, they will likely have a desire to do the thing. Why? Because people want FREEDOM, and when you tell someone they must not do something, they feel like they're not free. Therefore they will try to obtain their freedom by doing the very thing you said not to do.

My friend felt like he HAD to clean his room, therefore he rebelled by resisting doing so. He wanted freedom. When I gave him the freedom not to clean his room, he then realized that he need not rebel.

I feel that one of the most effective forms of therapy is to give others freedom. Never tell anyone that what they feel or think is "bad," or you are taking away their freedom. Give them the freedom they need to feel whatever it is they feel by acknowledging that their feelings are OKAY, and then they will naturally heal and change.

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8 years ago  ::  Jul 30, 2010 - 3:42PM #2
Posts: 380

Where's William Wallace when you need him?



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