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Switch to Forum Live View Going to be empty nesters
5 years ago  ::  Jun 16, 2009 - 10:41AM #1
whisper1662
Posts: 4
For the first time in our marraige we are going to be without children in the house, our youngest of 3 leaves in August for college.  We have never been without children.  We did not marry until our oldest was 6, so we have had children in the house since the beginning.  I am a little worried that things might change for the worst for us.  We have been married for 23 years and we still get along with each and still love each other.  We also still laugh which to me is a big thing.  We have tried over the years to go away for a fews days just the 2 of us which I truely beleive that every couple should do.  Would just like some advise from other empty nesters. Thanks
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5 years ago  ::  Jun 16, 2009 - 11:13AM #2
DAH54
Posts: 3,318

My own relationship of 26 years ended in part because of this.  My ex felt that she had spent her life raising her children and had never gotten a chance to truly experience all that life had to offer I believe. Once the children were out she wanted to experience the later teen years. Fo many couples children are the glue that hold the relationship together, and the justification for remaining. Their home over the years grows to revolve around the children's life.


I believe that you need to find something you both enjoy doing together a few hours each week. It is so very easy to lose the magic. to change from a couple working for something together, into two people cohabiting together but no longer involved together.

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5 years ago  ::  Jun 21, 2009 - 7:23PM #3
REteach
Posts: 14,559

Have sex in the living room. And the kitchen.  And in front of the fire this winter.  Make dinners together.  I have a "sex dress" that I couldn't wear in public that I can wear while we are eating off the china.  Travel together. Have more sex--be kinky, experiment.  


Our baby left for college in 2002 and we haven't looked back.  It is easier and more fun to be a couple.  We just drove 4550 miles to visit our son and his wife in Oregon.  This fall, we'll take our daughter and her husband to Long Boat Key in Florida to celebrate her getting her Master's degree.  We can have fun with them, and then go back and start having fun with each other.  


BTW, we celebrated our 31st anniversary in May, and are still best friends.  Yesterday we went to an NRA basic pistol class together--that was fun too.  I think I need to get my own pistol and we may need to do some competition shooting.  There were 3 couples out of a class of 9.  

I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard was not what I meant...
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5 years ago  ::  Jun 25, 2009 - 4:23PM #4
Tolerant Sis
Posts: 4,201

Jun 16, 2009 -- 10:41AM, whisper1662 wrote:

For the first time in our marraige we are going to be without children in the house, our youngest of 3 leaves in August for college.  We have never been without children.  We did not marry until our oldest was 6, so we have had children in the house since the beginning.  I am a little worried that things might change for the worst for us.  We have been married for 23 years and we still get along with each and still love each other.  We also still laugh which to me is a big thing.  We have tried over the years to go away for a fews days just the 2 of us which I truely beleive that every couple should do.  Would just like some advise from other empty nesters. Thanks



Well, we were empty nesters for about a year, and then we adopted again.  During that time, we went on vacation together, spent a lot of time and money at the mini golf course, and got used to the quiet.  It was okay, but we realized we had more to offer, so we opened our home to another child, and now we have her and her infant brother.


We, too, still laughed together, just celebrated 26 years this year.  Do something cheap and fun that you like to do together, and realize it's really okay to do things separately, too.

First amendment fan since 1793.
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2 years ago  ::  Mar 19, 2013 - 9:01AM #5
daliana
Posts: 1

Jun 16, 2009 -- 11:13AM, DAH54 wrote:

My own relationship of 26 years ended in part because of this.  My ex felt that she had spent her life raising her children and had never gotten a chance to truly experience all that life had to offer I believe. Once the children were out she wanted to experience the later teen years. Fo many couples children are the glue that hold the relationship together, and the justification for remaining. Their home over the years grows to revolve around the children's life.


I believe that you need to find something you both enjoy doing together a few hours each week. It is so very easy to lose the magic. to change from a couple working for something together, into two people cohabiting together but no longer involved together.


Dear Whisper1662,


 Personally i think some rest and relaxation would do you great. However, just because your kids are grown doesn't mean extra time and money is here to stay. If you don't make bold moves, life will find a way of occupying your time and using your money. Luckily, there are many good opportunities that you can seize. that will bring change and positive results into your life. Enjoy this stage of your life and think of new goals for yourself, you've done all your duties as a parent, maybe it's time to be a bit selfish ;). you should spend more time with your friends or maybe you'd enjoy  traveling with your partner. I've found this for you. It's a program called ViaSeminars.com and it's a mix of travel and counseling addressed specifically to empty nesters. Maybe you should give them a look... 


Good luck!




 




 



 




 




 


 




 

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